Something that annoys me...

Today I am going to talk about something that annoys me... It is not anger, as those who know me well know that I don't get angry that easily, in fact very seldom, I would say this annoys me and gets slightly on my nerves...

So was this that annoys me?

Well its when I hear people around me, or even on the public eye, saying stuff like "I can't do it", "It is too difficult to do so what's the point", "that is impossible", etc. You get the overall message? Its basically people justifying why they didn't do something. The thing is all these statements have one very simple thing in common.

They are all excuses!

You look at a problem or a challenge and it looks so big and so difficult, that you straight away give yourself excuses in case you fail to do that! The thing is by saying all that even before you looked at the problem you are sabotaging yourself from the beginning and 99 times out of 100 you will definitely fail to solve that problem or reach that goal.

There is only two reasons why people fail!

They haven't started or they haven't finished! That simple! You might disagree and say that sometimes circunstances stopped you from doing it. Well no, no matter the circunstances you were the one that stopped yourself from doing it. You can come back to me and say that planning is a big part of not completing something or failing. That is true, but if you didn't plan it from the beginning why didn't you? Probably because you justified it from the beginning as too difficult!

Let's face it...

I have failed many times in the past, I am not a saint that always succeeded in every thing that he attempted. The real truth is that the times I have failed I have not started properly or never seen it through to the end. I created excuses on my mind, or said it out loud or even sometimes listened to the wrong people that doubted me from the beginning!

What to do then?

Well make sure you start and you finish! Simple :-) I know is not that simple, but if you have a huge challenge in your hands, don't look at it as unattainable! Look at the whole problem, the timescale you have to achieve it, and break that down into smaller chunks, then each one of those you can break it down further.

Set milestones along the way

This is something I have done for the last 8 years or so. One of the reasons I adopted this stance, was from my work as a Project Manager at a Automotive Parts Manufacturer and Supplier. I had a project on my hands that had 18 months to run, in these 18 months we had to design the product, make prototypes, re-run prototypes in production machinery, approve product with customer, make pre-production runs, officially passover project to production, start production!

A lot to do in 18 months!

But each of those stages were a milestone. For each of those milestones we had smaller ones to achieve. These smaller ones became simpler and simpler and easier to achieve. Then each time that a smaller milestone is achieved we were one step closer to the ultimate goal, starting production.

Coaching is very similar

In Coaching we use that same structure, we look at your overall goal, set a timescale for it, and then proceed to break it down to into smaller milestones. And you are not alone! Like me as a Project Manager had my Project Team, in Coaching you have yourself as the Project Manager, Me as your coach and motivator and someone that is there to help, guide and advise you, and then you need and should create your own project team, friends, co-workers, family, other professionals.

So, next time...

Stop sabotaging yourself before you start, look at the overall problem, goal or challenge, see what you need to complete it, break it down to smaller milestones, "recruit" your own project team and crack on with it, making sure to start it and to finish it.

If you follow that simple process...

You will achieve your goal, I guarantee it!!!! Hope this post has been helpful in any way, feel free to leave your comments or questions below and I will be glad to help.

Have a fantastic day,

Speak soon,

Paulo

Motivation and Social Support

I just had a wow moment! Something just clicked in my mind, about one of my goals and I owe it all to a conversation that I just had. I was speaking with a wonderful lady that is very special to me, and some of the stuff she said, were not only right as well as hit the nail on the head. I even felt a new lease of life, regarding this goal, that I wasn't expecting. I am not going into detail what exactly was said, but it helped me realise that in the last couple of weeks I had neglected two very important things.

So what was missing then?

Basically, as every one in the world, even coaches, like me, have their off days, or self doubt days. We all have been there, something doesn't quite work out the way you wanted it or planned it and you feel slightly depressed, then it starts raining, or the dog chewes the cables of your computer and you start thinking what next?

Well, I was in such a place...

For several reasons I visited that place recently. Luckily I am in a position where I am aware of the techniques and tools to use to get me back into a happier place. There are many techniques you can use to pull you back in to the right direction, and I have used them all, but I was still not quite there until tonight's conversation.

There were two pieces missing...

That was it, I had overlooked two things that made all the difference. The first one comes from within and is Motivation! I had somehow forgotten what my motivation was to do all that I am doing. Yes my goal is set and it is something I really want to achieve. I have several milestones to achieve along the way, I have my Life Purpose statement that really defines who I am and what I want to achieve in life, but the motivation for it all had escaped me.

How can you find your "missing" motivation?

Well, ask yourself "What, how, why, where, when" type of questions.
- Why do I want this goal?
- What will this goal bring me if I achieve it?
- Where am I going to find the resources to help me achieve this goal?
- How am I going to find the solutions to the current problems that I am facing?
- When am I going to solve the present problem?
By asking all these questions, and ask as many as you want or need, you eventually will find the motivation that got you to write the goal in the first place!

But, there is another way!

The other way to find that "missing" motivation is the second resource that I didn't fully utilise to get me back on track, and that is Social Support! Social support, does not necessarily mean a big group of people, it can be just one person. With me it was! We all need someone that believes in you, has full trust in your capabilities and will support you in your goals and quests through life. Someone that will tell you as it is and will be fully and completely honest with you.

Who can this person be?

Well in my case she is a very special lady, that means the World to me, but it can be anyone that you trust and respect. It can be your Mum or your Dad, Brother or Sister, Husband or Wife, Partner or best friend, or even your Boss. As long as it fits all the criteria above, and that you both are completely honest with each other then that support will help you on your times of need.

Why is Social Support so important?

Human beings are social beings. We literally feed on other people's emotions, values and beliefs. We like to belong! We have group of friends, we support football teams, support political parties, unions at work, etc. Belonging to such grups, helps as feel that we are not alone! So whatever your goal is, you need a support network to help you succeed. You might need a Coach or a Mentor as well, but having someone there that understands you, believes in you and in your goal, or even has a similar goal to you, will make a big difference.

So, have you got your support network in place?

So, my question to you is have you got your social support in place? Whatever your goal is I am sure you can find someone close to you to be your social support. If your goal is setting up your business, look within your network for someone that has done it before. If it is losing weight or getting your 6-pack for holidays, you can find a gym to join or a internet forum for support. If you are studying for a qualification of any kind, anyone else that is in the same group can help or someone that already has done it in the past. Whatever your goal is, I am sure you will be able to find someone in your current network that can be your support. If not, then you have a fantastic opportunity to make new friends!

Final words...

It is important that you do it yourself, and for that you need to find the motivation to do it, but having someone helping you once in a while, will not only save you time, but also make it more enjoyable and easier for you to achieve your goal.

Hope my own experience helped you in anyway today. Have a wonderful day, and as usual if you have any comments, leave them below.

Paulo

My Life Purpose

If you recall, a while back I ask if you had already found your life's purpose. This came from my own realisation at that time that I had not found it yet. If you can't recall go over here to check it What is your life's purpose?.

I just started working on a new product and whilst breaking down the work I need to do to make the product a reality, remembered that I had never posted, as promised, my own life's purpose.

So without further ado, here it is for all to see.

My Life's Purpose

I Paulo Duarte, hereby declare before others and, more importantly, before myself, that my life purpose is to be:

- Always true to myself and others no matter how difficult, hard and painful it might be
- Someone that makes a positive difference in every person I encounter in life
- A caring, supportive and challenging friend
- Grateful for all I have and for all those around me
- The best I can be and never accept second best
- A successful and profitable Entrepreneur & Businessman

By doing:

- Studying and continuously learning about the human being and their interactions with others
- Learning about the way the physical body works. Always striving to find the best training and nutritional practices to best develop the human body to excellence!
- Helping and empowering others to learn and grow to be the best they can be
- Study the mindset and how best to use it for our own benefit to achieve all our goals
- Creating a Physical Excellence Transformation Center where Body and Mind work together towards the same goal, making dreams reality!
- Contributing with money and time to help others achieve their own success

So that in the future I may have:

- A happy, fulfilled and enjoyable life
- A beautiful, caring and supporting woman by my side that loves me and wants to be with me because of who I am, rather than what I have!
- Social recognition for all I done and am doing to help others improve themselves
- Financial rewards to allow me to make my dream life a Reality!
- Enough money to help others and be charitable and grateful for all!

Signed:

Paulo Duarte

As usual I would welcome your comments on this and on your own life's purpose. If you need help or direction of finding your life's purpose get in touch.

5 Key Factors That Helped me Lose Weight

12^th September 1992, that is the day my life changed! I took the decision to come to England to study, and that was the day I arrived here. After almost 17 years, I am delighted that I took that decision, still living in England and am very happy. But that is not the reason why I am writing this piece today.

Today I am going to tell you about another day...

Another day that radically changed my life, the day that after many months of being called fat, chubby or “Sancho” (my nickname from my housemates as per Sancho Panca, D.Quixote’s loyal servant) I decided to join a gym.

But, this was a different gym...

This gym on the surface looked like any other commercial gym. Had cardio machines, weight machines, a small free weights area, sauna, etc, but there was a big difference, the trainers there were people that loved training and loved to help training others.

And the transformation begun...

Under the guidance, you can even call it mentorship, of Paul, the main trainer there, I managed to lose around 4 stone in weight, my jeans size went down from Size 40 jeans to size 34, my self confidence sky rocketed to levels that I never had felt possible and life was great, and all in 9 months!

For the first time in my life...

I felt absolutely fantastic! After over 8 or so years of being a chubby kid and not feeling comfortable in my own body, I felt great. I would go to the shops and be able to buy normal sizes. I finally would go out at night and be super confident with the ladies as well!

So, how come this change occurred?

Well looking back I truly believe that there were 5 key factors why this happened and I know if these weren’t in place at the time my story would have been very different.

1. Social Support

First and foremost, if it wasn’t for my housemate Luis, I would have never taken the plunge to actually go to the gym. He was a regular gym goer back home in Portugal and he wanted a partner to go to the gym. He became my main “source” of social support, giving me encouraging words and “pushing” me to go to the gym when I didn’t felt like it!

I became accountable...

Having him there made me accountable not only to him as my gym partner but also to myself! Even though I was the only one that was capable of changing my body, having someone there to keep me in check helped me in achieving my goal ten times faster.

2. Guidance

As soon as I joined the gym, Paul was assigned as my trainer. Paul took all my measurements, weighted me, and more importantly, asked me questions about my lifestyle, my nutrition, my physical activity and pretty much every aspect he felt influenced my situation at the time.

After our first session he designed a training plan that we reviewed every 6 to 8 weeks to make any necessary adjustments, always taking in consideration my end goal!

My very first goal...

That was the very first time I set a goal with some “meat” in it. It wasn’t a goal “just because I want to”. He actually asked me what were the benefits I saw of living on that goal, and why I wanted it so much. I am not ashamed to admit it that girls featured highly on the whys J!

Set goals for what you want to achieve and it will make it much easier for you to achieve it!

3. Nutrition

With his help I started a food journal. For one week he asked me not to change my diet and just write down every little thing I ate during the day. At the end of that week we sat down and went through it all.

Blimey that was “eyes opening stuff”...

I was amazed, to say the least, at the amount of, at a lack of a better word, crap that I was consuming in a daily basis. Not only the quantity but also the quality of my food was deplorable, even though I cooked every night, during the day at Uni I would have pizzas or burgers from the student union bar or bean and beef stews from the Caribbean Center in town.

I changed all that...

From that point onwards I started to have a lot of salads and grilled meat or fish, at night. I would prepare my lunch to take to college, which would be home-made sandwiches or salads and fruit. Reduced the consumption of pastas, potatoes and rice and started having a proper breakfast with eggs and toast instead of coffee and air!

Learning “how to eat” was one of my biggest lessons!

Take notice of what you put in your body, make changes to natural foods and start having a balanced diet.

4. Mindset

Once I made the decision to change and go to the gym, I was half way there to success, I realised what I wanted to achieve and how I could achieved it. I stopped making excuses to why I couldn’t do it and put a plan of action in place and followed it.

I felt empowered...

And every time I had a off day I would re-focus on why I wanted to change and how much I had achieved by all the small changes that I made into my life that I knew then that I would never be “chubby” again.

5. Journal

I started a journal, at the time on a notebook. Every month I would weight myself. Every other week would take measurements. I would keep track of the bad foods I ate over the weeks. I knew how much I could lift at all the various exercises and which exercises I was doing at any particular time.

By keeping track...

Of all the variables in my life I was always able to know what was working or, more importantly, not working so I could change and adjust to achieve my goal. It was also a great motivation tool to see how much I had improved in such a small period of time!

Until today I had never realized

I had never realized that way back then in 1992 I already knew the secret to change and to achieve my dream body, and the factors that helped me lose weight then are the same factors that can help anyone achieve their goals, whatever they are!

Remember them and you are on your way:

- Doing it on your own is possible but harder than doing it with someone else. Whoever they are, your best friend, your partner, a personal trainer or a coach, will help you get there faster!

- Set goals for what you want to achieve and it will make it much easier for you to achieve it!

- Take notice of what you put in your body, make changes to natural foods and start having a balanced diet.

- Once you decide you are ready to change, and start taking action, you are half way there to success.

- Keep an updated journal to keep track of your progress and to motivate you to achieve your goal!

Hope this post was of some assistance to you in your quest to achieve your goals.

All the best,

Paulo