Something that annoys me...

Today I am going to talk about something that annoys me... It is not anger, as those who know me well know that I don't get angry that easily, in fact very seldom, I would say this annoys me and gets slightly on my nerves...

So was this that annoys me?

Well its when I hear people around me, or even on the public eye, saying stuff like "I can't do it", "It is too difficult to do so what's the point", "that is impossible", etc. You get the overall message? Its basically people justifying why they didn't do something. The thing is all these statements have one very simple thing in common.

They are all excuses!

You look at a problem or a challenge and it looks so big and so difficult, that you straight away give yourself excuses in case you fail to do that! The thing is by saying all that even before you looked at the problem you are sabotaging yourself from the beginning and 99 times out of 100 you will definitely fail to solve that problem or reach that goal.

There is only two reasons why people fail!

They haven't started or they haven't finished! That simple! You might disagree and say that sometimes circunstances stopped you from doing it. Well no, no matter the circunstances you were the one that stopped yourself from doing it. You can come back to me and say that planning is a big part of not completing something or failing. That is true, but if you didn't plan it from the beginning why didn't you? Probably because you justified it from the beginning as too difficult!

Let's face it...

I have failed many times in the past, I am not a saint that always succeeded in every thing that he attempted. The real truth is that the times I have failed I have not started properly or never seen it through to the end. I created excuses on my mind, or said it out loud or even sometimes listened to the wrong people that doubted me from the beginning!

What to do then?

Well make sure you start and you finish! Simple :-) I know is not that simple, but if you have a huge challenge in your hands, don't look at it as unattainable! Look at the whole problem, the timescale you have to achieve it, and break that down into smaller chunks, then each one of those you can break it down further.

Set milestones along the way

This is something I have done for the last 8 years or so. One of the reasons I adopted this stance, was from my work as a Project Manager at a Automotive Parts Manufacturer and Supplier. I had a project on my hands that had 18 months to run, in these 18 months we had to design the product, make prototypes, re-run prototypes in production machinery, approve product with customer, make pre-production runs, officially passover project to production, start production!

A lot to do in 18 months!

But each of those stages were a milestone. For each of those milestones we had smaller ones to achieve. These smaller ones became simpler and simpler and easier to achieve. Then each time that a smaller milestone is achieved we were one step closer to the ultimate goal, starting production.

Coaching is very similar

In Coaching we use that same structure, we look at your overall goal, set a timescale for it, and then proceed to break it down to into smaller milestones. And you are not alone! Like me as a Project Manager had my Project Team, in Coaching you have yourself as the Project Manager, Me as your coach and motivator and someone that is there to help, guide and advise you, and then you need and should create your own project team, friends, co-workers, family, other professionals.

So, next time...

Stop sabotaging yourself before you start, look at the overall problem, goal or challenge, see what you need to complete it, break it down to smaller milestones, "recruit" your own project team and crack on with it, making sure to start it and to finish it.

If you follow that simple process...

You will achieve your goal, I guarantee it!!!! Hope this post has been helpful in any way, feel free to leave your comments or questions below and I will be glad to help.

Have a fantastic day,

Speak soon,

Paulo

The Power of Communication

Communication... Communication is probably one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal, so why is it that sometimes we don't use it properly? Why is it that we usually have the most difficult of times to communicate to one another and express not only our ideas and plans but also our emotions and feelings...

Say what you feel

Expressing your deepest feelings is very simple and easy for some people whilst for others is the most excrutiating and difficult thing to ever do. Where does this pain come from? Well our values have a lot to do with it. In this case these are mainly negative values that hold you back from expressing these feelings.

Where did these values came from?

These were values that you adopted from childhood because you saw them in action or because it happen to you in your own life and now you assume it to be true. What I mean, is if you in the past expressed your feelings to friends, family, partner or at work and that "backfired" on you, then you will immediately assume that every time you do express your feelings and communicate freely then you will suffer because of it.

Is communication bad then?

So you learn that some communication is not healthy after all and you continue to protect yourself from expressing these to other people. What happens then? Well you don't say nothing and because you say nothing, the person or people that you don't communicate with, do something else that is inherent to the human being.

They make assumptions

People assume your thoughts because you haven't expressed them in the first place. By making assumptions, they don't make these assumptions based on facts but based on their own values, beliefs and rules. They analyse your silence and then they processed internally with their own guidelines. More often than not their assumptions are completely wrong as they don't take into account you!

What is the solution to this?

Well no matter how hard for you and for others, always always really say how you feel and express it to the best of your own abilities. I am not saying for you to go and tell a complete stranger how you feel today, but to the people that is close to you, like your partner, parents, children and friends.

They will appreciate it!

These people will not only appreciate your honesty, and also from the start of your relationship they will learn your own values, beliefs and rules from the very beginning thus making your relationship stronger.

So, what stuff have you got stuck in your chest that you haven't said yet and you should? Are you going to continue in your silence or are you going to finally let it all out? I let you make that decision...

Hope you have a fantastic day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

A special second

I was listening to the radio the other day whilst driving in Portugal, and the radio dj mentioned that the next day it was going to be very special, with an occurrence happening that would not repeat itself for more than a century. This occurrence was a special second...

12 hours, 34 minutes, 56 seconds of the 7th of August 2009

That was the second, the only time for more than 100 years that all the numbers were in sequence 123456789!!! That got me thinking, sure that second was unique and special because of that but surely all our seconds are unique and special!!!

Are your seconds special?

My question to you today is, are all your seconds special? Are you making the most out of your seconds to ensure that they mean something to your life? Or are you simply wasting those seconds away wishing for them to be special?

Well, I have news for you...

It all depends on only one person... YOU. You are the only person that can ensure that your seconds, minutes, hours and days are special by taking action on whatever your goals are. Don't just sit back and complain about how difficult or hard your life may be, do something about instead!

If you do then they will be special!

If you take action and every thing you do to occupy your seconds gets you that extra step closer to your goal then every single second will be special. If you mop around than guess what, all will remain as bad as it might be today.

I have a final question for you...

What are you going to do today to make your seconds special and make them count? I am going to go to the gym later this afternoon and then continue working on my new project. How about you?

Looking forward to read what your plans are.

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo