Reflections...

It’s my birthday tomorrow... 36 years old! I have been thinking for a few weeks about writing a blog post about it and just put some reflections out there. I have to admit it is not an original idea. Simon Cowell recently celebrated his 50^th birthday and wrote a public letter to his younger self.

Now I am not going to do the same, don’t think that I have reached that stage of my life yet where I need to give “advice” or “encouragement” to my younger self, but felt the need to do some kind of inward reflection.

Probably need is not the right word, but it stands for now as I cannot really decide on what that word is going to be. So, tomorrow, Sunday 18^th of October 2009 is my 36^th birthday. I never have been one to feel age as something detrimental or scary. Also never been one to wish that I was 18 again or go back in time to change this or that.

Throughout my life I have had many successes, some failures, made some fantastic decisions and some appalling ones. Made many mistakes, some silly and negligible, others more serious and dramatic. But, and this is a big but, I don’t really regret any of those mistakes, no matter what they were...

You see, the person I am today is a direct result of all the good things and bad things that happened to me or that I have done. Some bad things were done to me and that left me really upset, sometimes depressed and even almost destroyed, but, I have always came back fighting and smiling.

Around this time last year it finally daunted on me that I needed to make radical changes. Not only in my professional life but also in my personal life. I am not going to say that Coaching saved my life, because it hasn’t, as with all the advice and guidance I give to let you know that all change is down to you, the same applies to me.

I made all the changes, and dealt with them all, but the fact is as time went on I took a greater interest in Coaching and started, coaching others, and applying the same principles, tools and techniques to my own life in order to achieve the objective I set myself to achieve and apply the change required.

I consider myself an extremely lucky person. You see I “work” doing what I love and that is a special gift that anyone and everyone should enjoy. And this is only possible because I made a decision to radically change my life and follow my dream.

Yes it was scary, difficult and at times daunting, but this is something that I really wanted and all the sacrifices and obstacles that have come my way were in a way, worth it. Things are much better today than they were 6 months ago and they will phenomenally better in 6 months time! That I know for sure!

In the last 12 months, I have left a highly paid job, that gave me the company car and a nice financial and stable life, but I felt miserable, undervalued and, in a way, taken for a ride. So when the opportunity came, due to financial difficulties of the company, I accepted early redundancy and left.

I finished my qualifications in Coaching and NLP and was ready to take in the World. Along the way made some poor decisions in people to follow and listen to, but also found some amazing people that gave me advice, guidance and mentored me towards my success.

I now have an established number of clients about to launch my website with my free report to help others and am currently finishing writing my first book. I have days where I work 18 hours solid, and I am happy for it, because I truly believe in what I do and I absolutely love what I do.

I have an outstanding group of friends and family around me that love, respect and admire me and are there for me whenever I need some help, support or guidance and they know they can count on me come what may.

Yes I am single again. A few months ago I had thought I had found the Woman that was going to be my life partner. Sadly it was meant to be and the relationship ended before it had a chance to really begin and develop. I wish it hadn’t finished but it is one of those situations out of my control, and like I said I live a life of no regrets. The future with her could have been amazing, but life does go on!

I will not lie to you, some days are difficult, others less so, but when you live the life you are suppose to live, nothing is impossible and there is no such thing as an unsolvable problem!

So, what does my life has in store for me for the next twelve months? Well have plenty of business projects to keep me occupied and dreaming and acting big. Have a solid group of people around me, both in business as well as personal terms, that will allow me to reach all my goals.

Will I reach my goals in the next twelve months? Well I do know that if I continue to apply myself hard and do all that I am capable off I will achieve many of my goals and realise a few dreams.

I will wake up every day happy and grateful for where I am and who I am. You know, when I am happy and grateful I feel free to follow my dreams and be successful in life. When I am free and successful it means that I am following my Life’s Purpose and living life to the full.

When I am living to my purpose I am happy and grateful!!!! See it goes full circle and it is a self fulfilling prophecy! When you wake up happy and grateful because you are living you purpose, the universe, has a way of giving it back to you and to me it has and will continue to do so!

Reflections over, many more things probably left to say, but not necessarily today. Time to go and relax for a bit and then have a shower and get dressed and meet up with my friends and go and enjoy an amazing night in Manchester to celebrate my birthday!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

Eyes... Window to the soul?

I have always been fascinated by eyes! It is one of the first things I check when I meet someone new. Not only because of how insanely beautiful eyes are but also because I truly believe you can learn a lot by looking at someone’s eyes and into their eyes...

"Eyes never lie"

No matter how much you try, your eyes will never lie and sometimes will betray what your mouth or your actions are saying. When you look into someone's eyes directly you can see so much more than it can be said or expressed in words...

I bet it happened to you...

You look at someone’s eyes, maybe your partner, and immediately you know what they are thinking or feeling at that time. Even recently, my ex girlfriend, told me that when she kissed me she could see in my eyes how much I loved her...

Your emotions “shine” through your eyes...

Whatever you are feeling, even if you hide it physically, there is no way that you can hide it in your eyes. You can see when someone is happy and their eyes are positively smiling or when someone is miserable and it seems like their eyes are dead...

Even Scientists agree...

In a recent 2007 study, a psychology student from the Örebro University in Sweden linked iris patterns to personality traits. He photographed 428 volunteers' eyes and did a standard personality test to the volunteers.

After studying the lines radiating from the pupil (crypts) and the circular lines curving around the outer edge of the iris (furrows) he found that a low frequency of crypts was associated with tender-mindedness . warmth, trust and positive emotions, whereas more distinct and extended furrows were associated with impulsiveness.

Flirting eyes...

Eyes are also a very powerful “tool” in body language to interact with others. Flirting is one of the most used ways to attract someone of the opposite sex and your eyes play a big part on this.Women, in general, know how powerful a flirtatious look with a sensual smile can be in getting men's interest. Men in general although not as versed in flirting, off course there are exceptions, do select their partners in part due to her eyes...

Eyes & offspring’s...

You see, even if you are not planning in having kids, or more kids, when “searching” for a partner, subconsciously the selection is still based in that primordial need of procreation. And bright, white areas in a woman's eyes plus long, thick eye lashes are excellent indicators of female good health, thus they are more likely to have healthy offspring.

Flirt away and show off those beautiful eyes and long eye lashes, but be warned that you can give a lot more away than you probably want to as your eyes are really the window to your soul!

If I am staring at your eyes...

So if I meet you for the first time and am staring at your eyes, yes I am admiring how beautiful they are but I am also admiring your soul...

Have a brilliant day,

Speak soon,

Paulo x

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T; Find out what it means to me”

I’m sure you remember the song! Aretha Franklin had a huge success with it and it was a hit all over the world. What does respect mean to you? Aretha was asking for a little bit of respect from her man when he gets home. Now, far from me to comment on whether she had the right idea or not, so here it goes my two pence about respect!

According to the dictionary, respect is defined as:

"to show high or special regard or an act of giving particular attention."

Is that what it means to you? Well I agree with the definition from the dictionary but, in order for us to be able to respect others, we first must respect ourselves.

Day after day, we complain about others disrespecting us or not being proper either in their comments or in their actions, but we ultimately forget about ourselves. If we have self respect, then it is my view that others cannot disrespect us. If I respect myself first and foremost I will not put myself in a position that others can disrespect me.

Respect is earned...

I do agree with the common saying that people have to earn our respect from us, and yes respect is earned. And if you respect yourself and if the other person respects her or himself then the process of mutual respect is very straightforward.

The problem occurs when one or the two people don’t have any self respect, and when they don’t it is difficult for mutual respect to occur. Before you demand respect from others or expect others to earn your respect, you MUST develop your own Self-Respect!

“He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow”

How to develop self-respect?

Be true to yourself! Find out who you are deep down in the core. Recognise your flaws and weaknesses and work on them. Look at your strengths and develop them further. Enjoy life. Do fun activities and better yourself at all times, and above all do things that you feel like doing.

I know sometimes is difficult

But, you need to learn how to put yourself first. You can never develop self respect if you put the interests and wellbeing of others above you. I am guilty of that in the past and by doing that I ended up being miserable and always “bending over backwards” to keep the peace.

Do you know what that gave me?

It gave me a very low opinion of myself and, ironically, the people that I did everything for lost their respect for me! Only when I started to think about myself first and accounting for my needs first and then, and only then, dealing with the others needs I developed my self-respect further.

How did I did it?

I started doing stuff I wanted to do, experiencing new things, being happy. My confidence went sky high and I can honestly say I felt great once more. Now, I am not saying that you will stop doing things for others altogether, not at all. It might even be quite the opposite. What I am saying is that you only do things for others if you really want to do it!

Do stuff YOU want to do!

If you are asked to do something that you don’t feel like doing, don’t just do it “to keep the peace” as eventually the peace will be transformed into war. Just be confident, have self-respect and simply say you don’t feel like doing. You might say that is difficult to do that or you will end up not doing anything together with your partner or your kids or friends.

Re-Evaluate your relationships...

Now I doubt very much that you will not want to do things with your kids, as they are your kids, by all means don’t give in to all their demands or they too will lose their respect for you. If you cannot honestly have things in common to do with your partner, and everything you currently do with him/her is out of “having to do it” then I’m afraid you probably should re-evaluate your relationship altogether!

Same with friends! If you and your friends don’t have anything to do that you want to and enjoy doing, then find new friends!!Don’t waste your life doing what you don’t feel like doing. Develop your self-respect, love yourself, be happy and enjoy life!

Have a brilliant day,

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

Tattoo on Friday...

I went to have my back tattoo finished on Friday. It is all done now in my back, well I think it is anyway :-). Anyway, when I was "under the needle" so to speak, and enduring a bit of pain in the muscle areas had a couple of thoughts that I would like to share today.

First an advice...

If you do have a tattoo done, being too lean is a hindrance... The areas that hurt the most were on my traps, which are pure muscle, whilst the areas that were fine and less painful, and strangely pleasurable, were actually over the bone, which is usually an area that most people don't enjoy...

The other is to do with pain & pleasure

As you know, I firmly believe that pain and pleasure is the principle that rules all of our lives, we either spend our time avoiding pain or seeking pleasure. And it can be argued that the successful people in life are the ones that are prepared to endure the perceived potential pain of doing something because the pleasure at the end is worthwhile!

And tattoos are the perfect example

When you decide to do a tattoo, you know that there will be pain in the process, but the pleasure of having your tattoo done, is, in your eyes, worth the pain. So you endure the pain and you go for it "all guns blazing" because you truly want your pleasure at the end.

Same applies with cosmetic surgery

I haven't had cosmetic surgery but I would venture my opinion that the people that do it, do it due to the pain that they endure from whatever area they are not happy with in their bodies at that moment and because of the enormous perceived pleasure they will have about themselves once the treatment is done.

We can delve deeper into the psychologic ramifications of the process, but at a basic simple level is all about pain and pleasure. In this case there is two different kinds of pain; the one you endure at the moment from not being happy with yourself and the one from the surgery itself!

And because you want the pleasure at the end hard enough and you want to get rid of the current pain you are experiencing you will endure the surgery, the pain from it and also the pain from the recovery process to experience the pleasure of feeling better about your body!

Losing weight is in the same boat

When you embark on a "weight loss" quest, you know from the start that there will be some pain and some challenges ahead, but you persevere throughout because you really want the pleasure of having a fantastic toned body at the end. It is all about pain and pleasure and how much you really want the pleasure!

Whatever goal you have

Always remember, there will be pain along the way, there will be challenges, obstacles, problems and difficult situations, but if your goal is big enough, powerful enough and important enough to you, then you will be able to endure all that life "throws" at you and achieve your goal and enjoy the pleasure at the end!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

Enjoy today!

How many times do you catch yourself thinking about what happened yesterday or last week or even last year? How many hours of your life have you spent thinking about the past? Worse even, how much time have you wasted dwelling on possible outcomes of what might happen tomorrow or next week or next year?

Can you see the underlying theme?

Time you spend dreaming about the future or thinking about the past is time you will never have back today! There is nothing wrong thinking about good times in the past or visualising your future, but if you spend most of your time concentrating on what happened or what is yet to come then you are really wasting precious minutes and hours.

Your time is precious

You will never have that time again and you should use it in the present! Today is a beautiful day and tomorrow is always tomorrow, you can never have tomorrow today so why waste most of today thinking about it? Also what happened in the past can never be re-done or re-lived.

It is so easy to let go and avoid the current day.

If you are going through a bad patch it is much easier to “cry” about the past or dread the future, but you end up losing the opportunity to do something about it all today. By all means learn from what happened in the past, but there is no need to dissect it to the extreme and waste precious moments.

Same applies with dreaming about the future...

When you will meet the perfect stranger or win the lottery or get a new job or just when things are better. Again visualising your future for a few moments a day is a positive action but if you spend all day thinking about the possible outcomes of the future instead of living in the present you are wasting today. And if you actually act on it today, then that future might soon be your present!

Enjoy today!

Enjoy today, do something today to get you closer to your goals. Be happy and grateful for what you have and act on your life. Whatever you do today if it is according to your purpose and towards your goal, no matter how small action you take it will be a positive one. Similarly the time you spend thinking about the past or the future is a time wasted that you will never have again.

There is always tomorrow, but you will never have another today!!!

Go on, go and take positive actions towards your goals and enjoy today!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

One and Only You!

Friday's post, nice simple and straight to the point...

There is only one of you!

Stop trying to conform to the "Status Quo" and be an individual!

Enjoy!

"One And Only You

Every single blade of grass,

And every flake of snow

— Is just a wee bit different...

There’s no two alike, you know.

From something small,

like grains of sand,

To each gigantic star

All were made with THIS in mind:

To be just what they are!

How foolish then, to imitate—

How useless to pretend!

Since each of us comes from a MIND

Whose ideas never end.

There’ll only be just ONE of ME

To show what I can do

— And you should likewise feel very proud,

There’s only ONE of YOU.

That is where it all starts

With you, a wonderful

unlimited human being.

James T. Moore"

Have a brilliant day!

Enjoy your weekend.

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

Love is a Risk...

I have spent the last few days ill and without energy to do much. Feel much better today, was only a small case of flu... yes man flu J. Anyway, was watching a bit of television, whilst having my breakfast the other day and Frasier was on. In this episode he said something that stuck to my mind and I thought I would write about it today.

“Love is a risk, but a risk worth taking!”

When he said it I just thought, wow, how right are you?! He hit the nail on the head. Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. When you are in love, the world feels a much better place and everything is just right! Most people love the feeling of love. But at the same time most people are afraid of rejection and being hurt!

Do you see the conflict in that?

One of the highest values that most of us hold is Love. It is one of my highest values as well. But afraid of rejection and being hurt is also one of the highest values, in this case negative values that most of us hold. These are two conflicting values that work against you!

You see, even though you value love, because you are afraid of getting hurt, you will end up not pursuing love altogether. It all spans from the Pain – Pleasure principle (or theory). We are either pursuing pleasure or avoiding pain, but because pain is usually perceived as something with much higher consequences on you, you tend to sooner avoid Pain than seek Pleasure.

So we start making excuses...

We make up a long list of excuses to justify why we are not going to seek the pleasure of being or finding love.” I am too busy”, or “need to concentrate on work” or even “don’t have time or place for love in my life.” Or the stronger, “it won’t work out anyway and he/she will hurt me in the end!”

But despite this avoidance of pain, you are still in pain in a way because you will never know how that relationship would have turn out and you might have missed out on... love! The question you going to have to ask yourself is, what is worst, to risk love and potentially be hurt in the end or not risk anything at all and be sure you will be always safe, but alone?

I take love anytime!

I do, and even recently I took that risk and it didn't work out in the end. But I would never regret the decisions I took and the fact that I fell in Love. I met someone truly wonderful that made me very happy. Yes it has ended, and no I am not going to tell you why it did, and yes it did hurt, but love is so wonderful that for me it is rather a case of “better to have loved and lost than not having loved at all!”

It is a risk worth taking!

It really is. You see the reason why it will always be a risk worth taking for me, is that I am always in love with the most important person in my world. Who is that person? Me! I love myself and love my life, and because I do, there is nothing that can happen in a relationship with someone else that will ever destroy my self-love.

Most people forget that.

Most people forget to put themselves first or love themselves first and then get into a relationship where they transfer their needs and requirements into someone else. If and when that relationship ends they feel miserable and distraught because they haven’t mastered their own self love and were too dependent on their partner for reassurance, respect and love.

Put your oxygen mask first

Have you ever wondered why in airplanes they advise you to put your oxygen masks first before you help your children or others? When there is a drop in oxygen in the cabin, you will immediately feel very drowsy and tired and if you waste your energy helping someone else you will put yourself in danger and then you will not be of help to anyone else.

The same applies with love and happiness

If you don’t love and respect yourself and are happy in your own skin, how can you love, respect and be happy with someone else? You can’t because you are always expecting the other person to demonstrate to you at all times all those things that you don’t see in your own self.

Love yourself, Respect yourself and be happy with yourself

When you finally reach that stage that you are fully happy and comfortable in yourself, then you will reach a state of enlightenment where your partner, children and friends, will add to it rather than be it. You can then fully commit yourself to other relationships without fearing pain, because ultimately you have yourself!

Start to love yourself fully today. Acknowledge your beauty, your wisdom, your “awesomeness”. You are truly wonderful, realise that now!!!

Hope you have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

Happy Birthday Mum!

Today is my dearest Mum’s Birthday and I thought I would dedicate my blog today to write about her and what she means to me!

You probably heard it all before, but in my case it truly is true, my Mum is the best Mum in the World! Well, she is to me. She has been more than a Mother at many times, a friend, a shoulder to cry and a confident to hear my mishaps or disappointments.

Throughout my life, our life, we have been through a lot and always came out the other side laughing. This year has been a really testing year for both of us and we are still here. Loads of things that others did, or happened to them, impacted on our life this year and you are already smiling aren’t you?

I was thinking before that when this year is over we are going to look back and really realise how much we did and how much we have grown this year! Well that is the subject to another post hey? Probably for my birthday next month.

In my teenage years you always believed in me and were there for me at all times. When I needed a hug, a kiss, or a kick on the backside, you were the one I turned too first. Even my friends loved you like a Mum and still do today.

When I had the surgery that saved my life, you were the one that stayed up all night next to my bed until I woke up... And then you were the one I bugged all night asking if it was day time already J. I still remember the days we spent talking about me going abroad to study or me asking your advice on my life.

In a way you were my first Coach, you always believed in me, believed in my capabilities and always told me to follow my dreams. When the opportunity came for me to come to England, you were the one that told me to believe in me, because you already did.

So I followed my dream, and throughout these years you never once stopped believing in me! I adore you more than I can express in words and I wish that you finally start living the life you want and deserve.

You were the one I confided on when I had problems in my marriage or relationships. You were the first to know about all the important things in my life and still are. I admire mothers out there in the world that look out for their kids and I have to say that most mothers are special and wonderful, and I have met a few that are truly fantastic, but need to take exception and single out my wonderful Mummy!!!!

I love our relationship. Love the fact that the values you gave me, in the great part, were fantastic and helped me succeed in life. The fact I can cook, clean, iron and all the other things that can do today is all down to you, and for that I thank you.

I thank you for all the sacrifices you have done for me throughout your life. I thank you for the continuous belief and support I have had from you all my life. I thank you for telling me to follow my dream and start my coaching business, knowing that it would be difficult at times.

I thank you for a lot more, that I can't or wont discuss here and now, but most of all I thank you for bring me into this world and for being my Mother and my friend!!

Anyway, for once I am running out of words to write J I love you to bits, I always will, enjoy your birthday today with your dearest and fantastic Husband and Friend Augusto and I will see you for Christmas. In the mean time here it is a ton of hugs, kisses and “xoxos”

Love you Mum, Happy Birthday.

Your Son,

Paulo xxx

Why would you need a Coach?

When I meet someone new, at a network function, toastmasters or any social occasion and we started chatting, inevitably the question always pops up, so what do you do? When I tell them that I am a Coach, some look back at me with a blank expression, as if to say what do you mean by that?

I usually follow it up by saying that I work with people like you in helping them find direction in life, focus on achieving specific goals and push them out of their comfort zone so they truly become whom they have always dreamed to be.

I love coaching...

For me being a Coach is more than a profession really, I love Coaching others and help them flourish from a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. I enjoy listening to their successes and know that I had a positive influence in them and as well am there to help them re-focus and reinforce their self believe and confidence if things don’t go their way straight away.

Before I embark on a Coaching relationship with a new client I schedule a consultation for us to talk. This consultation serves two purposes really. To see where exactly my client is at this moment in time and what his or hers biggest concerns, challenges and obstacles are, but it is also an opportunity to see if the two of us can work together successfully. If I am honest, the second purpose is the most important as if we are not compatible there is no point in us working together at all!

I believe in you...

You see, for me to work with you and help you re-ignite your life, I need to believe in you, I need to know that you are willing to put the effort in and have the commitment to go out there and “fight” for your goal.

Me and My Coach...

I too have a Coach, and she plays a big part on my success. She believes in me when no one else did, and she continuously pushes me to be who I want to be and break through my own self imposed boundaries. We all have these boundaries in place and as coaching progresses yours will become more and more minuscule and less important.

Caroline, my Coach, has been coaching me for 11 months now and she has saw me grow as a person and helped me steer myself to the success that I am experiencing today and will continue to experience in my life.

Why Am I Telling You All This?

Well I have some questions to ask you. If you could have your perfect life and everything be as you dreamed off, what would your perfect life be like? What do you really want to have in your life? What would make your life completely happy and truly rewarding?

Whatever your answers are one thing I can tell you with absolute certainty, everything that you dream off is possible. Everything that you want you can have in your life.

You can have it all...

You can have more love in your life and improve all your relationships. You can remove most of the stresses you experience now and get rid of addictions. You can start your own business, if that is what you want, and increase its revenue or you can finally have the job that you always wanted and create the lifestyle and financial freedom you desire.

You can get into the shape of your life and have a body that will stop traffic. In short you can have it all and a Coach can be the person that will help you get there! Off course like in all aspects of life and in all professions, you need to find the right Coach for you, and I’m afraid it isn’t one size fits all.

Which Coach?

Some coaches are specialists in one area and others on others. That is why it is imperative that when you do start looking for a Coach, you find the one that best meets your needs. You are unique, so your situation, requirements and needs will be unique as well. I have experienced great success with my clients in two specific areas, physical excellence and wellbeing and in mindset and confidence coaching.

My clients profiles...

My clients focusing on the physical excellence, are really focused in achieving the body of their dreams and have several now really getting their life under control to ensure the necessary focus, willpower and determination to ensure that their nutrition, training and mindset are tuned in for success. They are usually business men on their mid 30s, with a very busy lifestyle with an interest in training and now ready to finally have the body of their dreams.

My Re-Ignite Your Life clients are traditionally women, that have reached a crossroads in their lives and are in a quest to discover their true purpose in life and getting ready to pursue it finally. They usually busy Mums that have dedicated their lives to the wellbeing of their offspring and others and have managed to neglect themselves.

Even though the above are my “typical” clients, I do have clients on either area that don’t fit the typical profile, like I said we are all unique so it would be very difficult for all my clients to fit into a very specific profile.

So, are you really ready for Coaching?

If you are still reading this post then I assume that you are either interested or at least you are trying to find out a bit more about it all to satisfy your curiosity. Either way it is fine, really. What I am here to tell you is that you can completely and in some cases dramatically change your life.

I have done that myself, went from a high paid, high profile, highly stressful job to having the best job in the world, by changing some of my beliefs and values and manifesting into my life certain people and opportunities to make my life a truly happy and wonderful one... And there is still a lot more to come!!!

Don’t believe in all the negative people out there...

You can have it all. Don’t believe in the scare mongers out there and the people that constantly try to put you down or tell you to just accept what you have got! You deserve more, you deserve all that you ever wished, dreamed and desired!!

Take Action!

A very important part of Coaching and of achieving your goals is to take action. So go on, there is no time like the present. Send me a message with your details and what your goals and dreams are and I will honestly tell you if I am the right coach to help you. If I feel that I am not, fear not, I have an excellent group of Coach Friends, that cover different niches from mine and I will refer you to them.

You can have all you want and the easiest and more supportive way of doing it is with a coach! A coach will help you achieve all you want and at a greater speed and heightened focus than if you went on your own. A coach will keep you focus, motivated and on track for you to achieve your goals and finally have the life that you dreamed off and deserve!

I have a Coach and will have one forever!

I tell you one thing; I have a coach, and will continue to do so. Working with Caroline not only helped me focus on my business success, it also has helped me on my personal life a great deal. After 11 months of working together I have achieved a great deal, and after every single session I feel refreshed, re-invigorated and believing in me that little bit extra.

I believe in coaching wholeheartedly and also believe that we all, you included, need a coach in our life to finally succeed in the areas where you have failed previously. You can finally start living a great life, your great life, full of happiness, fun, freedom, health and wealth.

Are you going to Re-Ignite Your Life?

Getting a coach did change my life and I am confident that I can help you change your life as well! I can help you Re-Ignite Your Life! Don’t waste another minute and get in touch.

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

Let go...

Today a quick post about letting go.

Sometimes you have to let go. It is hard, but gets better with time. And "letting go" ends up being beneficial to you in the short and long run.

Anyway, here is a poem by author unknown:

Let Go - Unknown

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is not to lose power, but to be open to the power within.

To "let go" is to fear less, and love more."

Do it today, let go...

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

Cravings...

One of the biggest challenges that my Physical Excellence Coaching clients have is controlling their cravings. Some of them crave chocolates or donuts, others crave crisps or pizzas, but they all have a hard time controlling these cravings. They start by trying to ignore it, to put it out of their minds and forget about it.

The problem about that, is that the more you try to ignore something, the more you think off it! This is to do with how your subconscious processes thoughts. Your subconscious mind is one of the most powerful "tools" for your success in achieving your goals and you need to learn how to use it.

But it is a flawed tool though.

And the good news is that you can use this flaw to your advantage. You see the subconscious mind, can not differentiate between reality and imagination, and the negative words are not processed at all. You can use the inability to differentiate between reality and imagination to your advantage by constantly visualising yourself the way you want to be and because of that your subconscious will "see it" as reality.

Therefore the more you see yourself with a 6-pack the more your mind believes it as true and will continuously "instruct" your body to achieve that 6-pack thus acting as if you have the 6-pack already! Hence the reason I advise you to not only be positive in your goals but also to do every thing at your disposal to continuously remember it, using vision boards, reading it out loud, doing mind movies, whatever is at your disposal.

How about the other flaw?

Well as your subconscious doesn't really process the negatives, when you say to yourself, "I can't have that chocolate bar" or "I don't want that packet of crisps" what your subconscious is actually hearing is "I can have that chocolate bar" and "I want that packet of crisps" and the more and more it hears this, the more it will want it and crave it and eventually your conscious mind will succumb to it!

So what should you do?

The advice I give my clients and indeed I follow myself is to use the following simple 3 step process:

1 - Acknowledge your craving

You want a chocolate bar. Acknowledge that is what you want and feel like eating. Don't even attempt to forget about it!

2 - Analyse the craving against your goal

If your chocolate bar has 200 calories, and if you eat it, how much more miles do you have to run or how many more hours do you need to lift weights to burn that extra bar of chocolate? Compare the bar of chocolate against your 6-pack. See your perfect body in your mind and how further away from it are you if you eat the chocolate bar.

3 - Decide if fulfilling the craving is worth it

Make your decision, you know by now what the consequences of eating that chocolate are. Are they really worth it? Is the 30 seconds of eating the bar worth the extra 1 or 2 hours you have to spend in the gym that day, just to burn the extra calories that you fed your body with?

By following this process

You will deal with your craving and not even be tempted to fulfill it due to the extra perceived pain you will suffer to achieve your goal. The first time you do this process it might take a minute or more to deal with it, but with time this process will be so quick that you will deal with your cravings almost instantly.

You can use this process with all your craving, physical and emotional ones. Simply acknowledge it, compare it to your goal and make the decision. Simple!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

I can't change you!

Have you ever had one of those argh moments where you wished you could change someone else? It probably was your partner or your kids or a close friend. I bet you did, I have had many of those moments myself. Where someone's actions, or lack off, or words, really infuriated me and I wished they would change so that they could do what they wanted or dreamed off.

And then you tell them they need to change...

At that time, you probably have actually told them that they had to change because the way they were or are, is not the right atittude to have or be. I also bet that your words or actions had little or no effect on them or what they did about their life.

Am I right? Well the reason behind all that is that I can't really change anyone else or indeed you. No one can change you. Only you can change! The best way I can describe this is being using the example of a celebrity addicted to some kind of destructive substance.

Is it time for you to go into "rehab"?

Have you ever noticed that when you hear that Celebrity X went into rehab, that the only time that said Celebrity does kick his or her habit is when they themselves want to do it? If it was their PR, manager, family or friends that "forced" them to go into rehab, they, soon or later, end up using again?

That is because they didn't wanted to change or saw any reason to change. If they are not prepared to go through the trials and tribulations of actually undergo change they will not do it. They will sabotage themselves along the way because in their own subconscious they don't want to change!

Pain and pleasure

As I mentioned before in these pages, most of our life is governed by the pain and pleasure principle, I would even venture to say that all that we do in life is about pain and pleasure. Actually is more about the perceived pain and the perceived pleasure!

What do I mean by perceived?

Well when you are about to undergo change, you are in a state of pain, and you know already that you need to change. Now to achieve change you know in your mind all the perceived pain that will come your way, but if you also already know the great pleasure that is expecting you at the end of the process.

You will change when the perceived pleasure at the end of the process is so much greater than the perceived pain you will endure during the process that is worth while! When you are "forced" into a change process, then you only perceive the pain and don't really see the pleasure that might come into your life, so you will not put yourself into a position of strength and positive mindeset to actually undergo the process.

You will have thoughts what is the point of it all? Why am I doing this? And so on and so forth. So if you see yourself in a position that you feel that you need to change someone else, do not attempt to force that change. Instead talk to him or her to understand if they really feel that they need to change.

Do they really need to change?

If they admit it to you and are really sure about it, they will soon embark on that change and then you can become part of their support team. If they don't then you need to understand what they are saying and leave them be to make their own decision. You then need to decide how will that affect your life, and if you are to continue to be part of their life.

Why do you want them to change?

The other aspect that you need to address, is why do you want them to change? Are you trying to change someone for your benefit or for their benefit? If it is to fit into your life, then you are not being a good friend, because you are trying to mould them to you, rather than look for their wellbeing.

If they changed since you know them and are now a different person and that is destructive for them, then your support and concern is justifiable, but if they changed and they are happy with who they are, then you are the one that either has to change or step away from them.

You have the power...

You have the power to change the most important person in your life, yourself!!! Use your power to make changes in your life or within you for your benefit and you will not only achieve your goals but also you will be completely and truly happy!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo