Love is a Risk...

I have spent the last few days ill and without energy to do much. Feel much better today, was only a small case of flu... yes man flu J. Anyway, was watching a bit of television, whilst having my breakfast the other day and Frasier was on. In this episode he said something that stuck to my mind and I thought I would write about it today.

“Love is a risk, but a risk worth taking!”

When he said it I just thought, wow, how right are you?! He hit the nail on the head. Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. When you are in love, the world feels a much better place and everything is just right! Most people love the feeling of love. But at the same time most people are afraid of rejection and being hurt!

Do you see the conflict in that?

One of the highest values that most of us hold is Love. It is one of my highest values as well. But afraid of rejection and being hurt is also one of the highest values, in this case negative values that most of us hold. These are two conflicting values that work against you!

You see, even though you value love, because you are afraid of getting hurt, you will end up not pursuing love altogether. It all spans from the Pain – Pleasure principle (or theory). We are either pursuing pleasure or avoiding pain, but because pain is usually perceived as something with much higher consequences on you, you tend to sooner avoid Pain than seek Pleasure.

So we start making excuses...

We make up a long list of excuses to justify why we are not going to seek the pleasure of being or finding love.” I am too busy”, or “need to concentrate on work” or even “don’t have time or place for love in my life.” Or the stronger, “it won’t work out anyway and he/she will hurt me in the end!”

But despite this avoidance of pain, you are still in pain in a way because you will never know how that relationship would have turn out and you might have missed out on... love! The question you going to have to ask yourself is, what is worst, to risk love and potentially be hurt in the end or not risk anything at all and be sure you will be always safe, but alone?

I take love anytime!

I do, and even recently I took that risk and it didn't work out in the end. But I would never regret the decisions I took and the fact that I fell in Love. I met someone truly wonderful that made me very happy. Yes it has ended, and no I am not going to tell you why it did, and yes it did hurt, but love is so wonderful that for me it is rather a case of “better to have loved and lost than not having loved at all!”

It is a risk worth taking!

It really is. You see the reason why it will always be a risk worth taking for me, is that I am always in love with the most important person in my world. Who is that person? Me! I love myself and love my life, and because I do, there is nothing that can happen in a relationship with someone else that will ever destroy my self-love.

Most people forget that.

Most people forget to put themselves first or love themselves first and then get into a relationship where they transfer their needs and requirements into someone else. If and when that relationship ends they feel miserable and distraught because they haven’t mastered their own self love and were too dependent on their partner for reassurance, respect and love.

Put your oxygen mask first

Have you ever wondered why in airplanes they advise you to put your oxygen masks first before you help your children or others? When there is a drop in oxygen in the cabin, you will immediately feel very drowsy and tired and if you waste your energy helping someone else you will put yourself in danger and then you will not be of help to anyone else.

The same applies with love and happiness

If you don’t love and respect yourself and are happy in your own skin, how can you love, respect and be happy with someone else? You can’t because you are always expecting the other person to demonstrate to you at all times all those things that you don’t see in your own self.

Love yourself, Respect yourself and be happy with yourself

When you finally reach that stage that you are fully happy and comfortable in yourself, then you will reach a state of enlightenment where your partner, children and friends, will add to it rather than be it. You can then fully commit yourself to other relationships without fearing pain, because ultimately you have yourself!

Start to love yourself fully today. Acknowledge your beauty, your wisdom, your “awesomeness”. You are truly wonderful, realise that now!!!

Hope you have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

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