Something that annoys me...

Today I am going to talk about something that annoys me... It is not anger, as those who know me well know that I don't get angry that easily, in fact very seldom, I would say this annoys me and gets slightly on my nerves...

So was this that annoys me?

Well its when I hear people around me, or even on the public eye, saying stuff like "I can't do it", "It is too difficult to do so what's the point", "that is impossible", etc. You get the overall message? Its basically people justifying why they didn't do something. The thing is all these statements have one very simple thing in common.

They are all excuses!

You look at a problem or a challenge and it looks so big and so difficult, that you straight away give yourself excuses in case you fail to do that! The thing is by saying all that even before you looked at the problem you are sabotaging yourself from the beginning and 99 times out of 100 you will definitely fail to solve that problem or reach that goal.

There is only two reasons why people fail!

They haven't started or they haven't finished! That simple! You might disagree and say that sometimes circunstances stopped you from doing it. Well no, no matter the circunstances you were the one that stopped yourself from doing it. You can come back to me and say that planning is a big part of not completing something or failing. That is true, but if you didn't plan it from the beginning why didn't you? Probably because you justified it from the beginning as too difficult!

Let's face it...

I have failed many times in the past, I am not a saint that always succeeded in every thing that he attempted. The real truth is that the times I have failed I have not started properly or never seen it through to the end. I created excuses on my mind, or said it out loud or even sometimes listened to the wrong people that doubted me from the beginning!

What to do then?

Well make sure you start and you finish! Simple :-) I know is not that simple, but if you have a huge challenge in your hands, don't look at it as unattainable! Look at the whole problem, the timescale you have to achieve it, and break that down into smaller chunks, then each one of those you can break it down further.

Set milestones along the way

This is something I have done for the last 8 years or so. One of the reasons I adopted this stance, was from my work as a Project Manager at a Automotive Parts Manufacturer and Supplier. I had a project on my hands that had 18 months to run, in these 18 months we had to design the product, make prototypes, re-run prototypes in production machinery, approve product with customer, make pre-production runs, officially passover project to production, start production!

A lot to do in 18 months!

But each of those stages were a milestone. For each of those milestones we had smaller ones to achieve. These smaller ones became simpler and simpler and easier to achieve. Then each time that a smaller milestone is achieved we were one step closer to the ultimate goal, starting production.

Coaching is very similar

In Coaching we use that same structure, we look at your overall goal, set a timescale for it, and then proceed to break it down to into smaller milestones. And you are not alone! Like me as a Project Manager had my Project Team, in Coaching you have yourself as the Project Manager, Me as your coach and motivator and someone that is there to help, guide and advise you, and then you need and should create your own project team, friends, co-workers, family, other professionals.

So, next time...

Stop sabotaging yourself before you start, look at the overall problem, goal or challenge, see what you need to complete it, break it down to smaller milestones, "recruit" your own project team and crack on with it, making sure to start it and to finish it.

If you follow that simple process...

You will achieve your goal, I guarantee it!!!! Hope this post has been helpful in any way, feel free to leave your comments or questions below and I will be glad to help.

Have a fantastic day,

Speak soon,

Paulo

The Power of Communication

Communication... Communication is probably one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal, so why is it that sometimes we don't use it properly? Why is it that we usually have the most difficult of times to communicate to one another and express not only our ideas and plans but also our emotions and feelings...

Say what you feel

Expressing your deepest feelings is very simple and easy for some people whilst for others is the most excrutiating and difficult thing to ever do. Where does this pain come from? Well our values have a lot to do with it. In this case these are mainly negative values that hold you back from expressing these feelings.

Where did these values came from?

These were values that you adopted from childhood because you saw them in action or because it happen to you in your own life and now you assume it to be true. What I mean, is if you in the past expressed your feelings to friends, family, partner or at work and that "backfired" on you, then you will immediately assume that every time you do express your feelings and communicate freely then you will suffer because of it.

Is communication bad then?

So you learn that some communication is not healthy after all and you continue to protect yourself from expressing these to other people. What happens then? Well you don't say nothing and because you say nothing, the person or people that you don't communicate with, do something else that is inherent to the human being.

They make assumptions

People assume your thoughts because you haven't expressed them in the first place. By making assumptions, they don't make these assumptions based on facts but based on their own values, beliefs and rules. They analyse your silence and then they processed internally with their own guidelines. More often than not their assumptions are completely wrong as they don't take into account you!

What is the solution to this?

Well no matter how hard for you and for others, always always really say how you feel and express it to the best of your own abilities. I am not saying for you to go and tell a complete stranger how you feel today, but to the people that is close to you, like your partner, parents, children and friends.

They will appreciate it!

These people will not only appreciate your honesty, and also from the start of your relationship they will learn your own values, beliefs and rules from the very beginning thus making your relationship stronger.

So, what stuff have you got stuck in your chest that you haven't said yet and you should? Are you going to continue in your silence or are you going to finally let it all out? I let you make that decision...

Hope you have a fantastic day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

A special second

I was listening to the radio the other day whilst driving in Portugal, and the radio dj mentioned that the next day it was going to be very special, with an occurrence happening that would not repeat itself for more than a century. This occurrence was a special second...

12 hours, 34 minutes, 56 seconds of the 7th of August 2009

That was the second, the only time for more than 100 years that all the numbers were in sequence 123456789!!! That got me thinking, sure that second was unique and special because of that but surely all our seconds are unique and special!!!

Are your seconds special?

My question to you today is, are all your seconds special? Are you making the most out of your seconds to ensure that they mean something to your life? Or are you simply wasting those seconds away wishing for them to be special?

Well, I have news for you...

It all depends on only one person... YOU. You are the only person that can ensure that your seconds, minutes, hours and days are special by taking action on whatever your goals are. Don't just sit back and complain about how difficult or hard your life may be, do something about instead!

If you do then they will be special!

If you take action and every thing you do to occupy your seconds gets you that extra step closer to your goal then every single second will be special. If you mop around than guess what, all will remain as bad as it might be today.

I have a final question for you...

What are you going to do today to make your seconds special and make them count? I am going to go to the gym later this afternoon and then continue working on my new project. How about you?

Looking forward to read what your plans are.

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

What I Learned From My Grandfather

I have been thinking about writing this post for a while now. He was one of my heroes, I loved him to bits and he was one of my best friends in the World. He passed away almost 15 years ago already but I still think of him a lot.

Throughout his life, like all of us, he made mistakes and even said or acted badly or out of turn, but he was always capable of recognising his mistakes and amending them when he could. I admired a lot of things about him, and learned a lot from him. Today I thought I would pay praise to him and share with you some of these learnings.

Do you want respect, then earn that respect...

He always told me that if you want people to respect you for who you are then you first have to earn that respect. How do you do that? By beeing yourself at all times and by making sure you respect who you are. If you don't respect yourself how can you expect others to respect you?

He was of the opinion that no matter what your status in society was, if you wanted his respect you would have to earn it and prove to him that you would be worthy of it. He once told me that just because he was my Grandfather that wasn't an excuse for him not to earn my respect from him. Funny to hear this from someone that I idolised but in more then one occasion he proved that concept to me. He also told me...

Respecting someone doesn't mean you agree with them...

Looking back this teaching was a sour one for both me and my Grandfather. He had told me in the past that disagreeing with another person was natural and if you always kept each others respect then the disagreement would eventually turn out to be positive for the relationship.

A few years before his death me and my Grandfather had a big disagreement that even threathened our relationship. The reason why it didn't was because we respected each other above all others and were able to see the points we were both making and eventually "made up". Our relationship became stronger than ever before from that point onwards.

Always dress to impress... yourself!

From my first memory of him up to the last one, he always looked extremely smart and well dressed. His hair was always impecably taken care off and his nails expertly cleaned and tidy. He never dressed to impressed the World outside, he had no need to do that because he only wanted to impress himself.

Even around the house well after his retirement, his clothes were nicely colour coordinated, pressed and neatly presented. To his last day he combed his hair with "brilhantina" and had his silk scarf on his neck. No point in trying to impress others if you are not impressed with yourself.

Some might call it vanity, I call it pride...

This is a story my Mum told many times and I often tell it too. My Grandfather used to work as a tailor, so he always looked impeccably dressed at all times. On his way to and from work he had to cross a field that often was dirty or even muddy.

So every day without fail, either on way to work or home, my Grandfather proceeded to walk through the field, and on reaching the other side, he would remove his handkerchief and would thoroughly clean his shoes from any dirt and mud ensuring they looked clean and polished and off he went on his way.

Some people might say that it was very vain of him to do that, but for me was pride, pride on his appearance and, most importantly, pride on himself. He was also a role model on how men dressed, on account of his job, so if his attire was not perfect why would anyone buy from him?

Hard work pays up in the end...

I have never believed in easy work for easy pay. A lot of people out there wants you to believe that it is easy to achieve your goals, but it always involves hard work from your part. I also believe that, at least in part, that belief of mine comes from him.

You can achieve anything you set your heart upon but you always have to be prepared to put the effort in. Once you do that it will pay handsomely in the end! You are responsible for your dream! Dream big, act big and reality will be big...

I could go on...

And tell you more of his learnings... Someday I might add a few more, or maybe not. Today I just felt it was time to pay homage to a great man, that I miss dearly and I loved throughout my life and still do, in the hope that some of his "teachings" could of assistance to you as well.

As always comments are appreciated.

Speak soon,

Paulo

Law of Attraction - Part 3

Now that we discussed what the Law of Attraction really is and we found out the one missing ingredient was, how do we actually go about applying it?

Well, it is rather simple but it does require a great deal of belief in you as well as in your overall beliefs. For the purpose of explaining it better, we shall use as an example something that many people will like to achieve one day or class as one of their goals.

Millionaire status...

Let's assume for a bit that you want to be a millionaire. Cool, you want to be a millionaire, so you have already completed step 1 of the Law of Attraction, know what you want. The next step is to ask for it, visualise you already have it and that is it, just sit back, relax and will finally will come to you, right?

Well...

Wrong!!! In fact, if you paid attention to what I wrote in my last two posts, the sure fire thing to happen if you do exactly as above is that after a while you will think that this Law of Attraction is total BS and doesn't work and you will give up. Well I have news for you, off course it will not work and off course you will think is total BS, mainly because you have asked for something and you have done nothing to achieve it!

This is what you should do instead...

You want to be a Millionaire! Ok, now lets be more specific and how much of a millionaire you want to be. Like when setting a goal we need to specify exactly what it is you want. So to make things simple, let's assume you want to have £1M in your bank account. Know you know what you want and that is £1M in your bank account.

Second step...

Now that you know what you want, you ask for it. Ask the universe that you want £1M in your bank account. Simple, hey? Well, you actually have to believe that you can get £1M in your bank account, so you need to focus on your values about money and strengthen them as well as removing all negative ones from your psyche.

You want One Million Pounds...

But it is your belief that only "dodgy" people get rich or win the lottery or indeed good honest people can not become millionaires through hard work. If this is you then you are already sabotaging yourself before you even started. If you believe in all that, then you will never get it, because, you get what you ask for and what you believe. You need to work on your values and beliefs before you ask the universe for something that you don't believe in. This is something you can do on your own, although it might take a long time, or you can get a coach or mentor, like myself, to help you on it.

You now believe that you can get it...

It is now time to visualise yourself with £1M in your bank account. Visualisation is a very strong tool in this process. You need to see your life like you already have that money. Imagine what would you do in your normal day with your goal already achieved. See, hear, smell, feel your new life. All the places you have visited and all the items you have bought. Visualise it all until you are certain that it is really true and here!

And now... Do something about it...

Take action on it. Don't sit back and wait. With all the beliefs and visualisation work you have done, your subconscious knows that you already capable of having it. So you are now more open to new opportunities that come your way and you will be more alert to act on it. The more actions you take towards it the sooner it will come to you.

Be grateful...

Be grateful for all that you, in your head, already received. Be charitable to others as you are in a position to do it and also teach others how to get where you got. Now you must, detach yourself from the outcome.

This is seems to be the hardest part of it all...

By detaching yourself from the outcome, you are not placing a life or death status to you achieving the outcome itself. By detaching yourself, you are in fact saying that this is something you want and are willing to go for it and for it to take as long as required to achieve it. It will not rule your life and that your happiness and satisfaction in life is not solely dependent upon achieving. You are telling the "universe" that you will have a good life whatever the outcome. Achieving it will add to your life, rather than make your life!

And there it is, the Law of Attraction explained...

For the sake of this example I used money, but you can apply the LOA to any part of your life. New job, new girlfriend, new house, whatever it is if you can ask for it you will receive it... provided you act on it!

What you waiting for?

Go on! Go and apply the LOA in your life. Don't just read about it and forget it. Apply it and see it working for you. If you doubt it from the very beginning then unless you do some work on your values and beliefs, then you will fail. So believe in it and go for it.

It has worked for me, and still does...

Many times throughout my life, most of the times without knowing, I have applied the Law of Attraction to many areas of my life and have been very successful and happy with the results and will continue to apply it.

Hope you found this useful and interesting. As usual comments are welcomed and appreciated and please do let me know of your successes using the LOA in your life!

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

Law of Attraction - Part 2

On my previous post we discussed the Law of Attraction and what it meant and how was interpreted. If you missed it head over here to read it – http://reigniteyourlife.blogspot.com/2009/07/law-of-attraction-part-1.html.

Today we are going to talk about the missing ingredient of the Law of Attraction that makes all the difference in how to apply it and to make it work for you. The movie “The Secret” did a really good job in opening up the law of attraction to the World out there, but, unfortunately neglected to mention one very important and crucial part of it.

Many people are now applying the Law of Attraction in their daily lives, unfortunately most seem to fail to get the results desired. How do I know this? Well the main question that I seem to be getting from friends and clients, and indeed one of the main questions floating around the internet is “How long to I have to wait for the results to manifest?”.

That question poses two problems.

The first one is the fact that if you are indeed asking that, then your belief regarding the actual success of your “request” is weak to say the least, and that you believe that actually getting your desires is not dependent on you but on some external sources. And secondly, perhaps most importantly, you failed to really understand the Law of Attraction.

See when you ask when the results appear

It means that you haven’t done anything about getting those results. The missing ingredient that wasn’t mentioned or taught in The Secret is Action! You need to take action. That is the only way the Law of Attraction can work for you. If you want a new better paid job, then you need to start searching for one and apply for the ones you would like to have. If you want a new girlfriend you will not find her in your empty living room whilst you are sat doing nothing.

Basically no-one has become successful in any of their endeavours by being a lazy lay about doing nothing. They took action and they went after what they wanted. You need to take action. It might take one day, it might take one year, who knows, but the sooner you take action the sooner you will get your desires!

Going back to the Law of Attraction summary from last time and adding in the missing component this is what the Law of Attraction should look like:

1. Know what you want.

2. Ask for it.

3. Visualise that you have it already.

4. Take Action - Most important step!!

5. Receive, be grateful and detach yourself from the outcome.

Well, that is it for today. Next time I will go into more detail on how to apply the law of attraction in your life to get the best results for your goals.

Have a brilliant day

Speak soon,

Paulo

Law of Attraction – Part 1

I’m sure you have heard all about the Law of Attraction in the last few years, probably because you have seen, or heard about, the movie “The Secret” or maybe from blogs, or other publications, like mine. So today I thought I would discuss and present the Law of Attraction to you. As a lot can be said about it I have decided to do three different posts about it.

Part 1, I will discuss what the LOA (Law of Attraction) is. In part 2 I will discuss the bit about the LOA that wasn’t mentioned in the movie “The Secret” that might be the most important teaching of all! Finally Part 3 is how to apply the LOA in your life! So do stick around and as usual, feel free to add your comments below on this and any other subjects.

What is the Law of Attraction?

There are many definitions of the Law of Attraction out there, as each person can interpret it in their own way, I wouldn’t they, in the end of the day we are all individuals. So this is my own personal definition of it, based in many concepts and in by no means this is the final and only definition of it.

My definition of the Law of Attraction

“Whatever you desire and want for your life, you can get it all from the Universe if you really want it, believe it, ask for it and act on it!”

Other Definitions

A more simplistic approach to it as been widely coined as “What you are you become” or “What you desire you attract”. One of my favourite quotes comes from Wayne Dyer “I’ll see it when I believe it!”. In complete contrast to the traditional quote “I’ll believe it when I see it” but for Wayne in order for you to be able to see something in front of you, you need to really believe in it first!

Before “The Secret” made the LOA widely popular, a lot of other people were already talking about it and even taught the Law of Attraction at seminars and workshops. In fact every teaching and works of all the most popular self development people out there has foundations on the LOA.

One of my favourite authors, Napoleon Hill, wrote in his best seller book, “Think and Grow Rich” that we need to control our own thoughts in order to achieve success in our life. He never actually mentions the Law of Attraction directly, but many feel, me included, that the secret he mentions in every single chapter of the book is indeed the Law of Attraction. By the way if you never read it, I highly recommend it as it is an excellent and fascinating read.

Positive thoughts, Positive Outcomes

Basically by you being in control of your thoughts and having positive thoughts about your life and what you want from it, you will attract all that into your life. If you continue having negative thoughts then that is what will come into life instead. This is something that many people have trouble with as it is not very easy to always think positive and is a item that has gotten much criticism as well.

Criticism of the LOA teachings

The critics state that, if something negative happens in your life, and you follow the Law of Attraction, then you will blame yourself for it, and, again according to critics, sometimes it wasn’t your fault at all. Off course if we start blaming ourselves because there is traffic in the motorway because of an accident and we end up late for a meeting then is illogical that we would blame ourselves for that.

Who is responsible?

On the other hand if you having problems at work with your boss, for example, is it illogical to assume that some of those issues might have stemmed from some of your actions and if you improve your actions things will be better all round? All of this is open to debate and my post today is not about making you believe or not in the Law of Attraction. It is simply to let you know a bit more about what it is.

In summary the Law of Attraction states:
1. Know what you want.
2. Ask for it.
3. Visualise that you have it already.
4. Receive, be grateful and detach yourself from the outcome.

In part two of the Law of Attraction posts I shall uncover the most important step of the Law of Attraction that the movie “The Secret” hasn’t discussed and led to some of the high profile self development gurus to ask to be removed from the final cut of the movie.

Until then, have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo