The Power of Communication

Communication... Communication is probably one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal, so why is it that sometimes we don't use it properly? Why is it that we usually have the most difficult of times to communicate to one another and express not only our ideas and plans but also our emotions and feelings...

Say what you feel

Expressing your deepest feelings is very simple and easy for some people whilst for others is the most excrutiating and difficult thing to ever do. Where does this pain come from? Well our values have a lot to do with it. In this case these are mainly negative values that hold you back from expressing these feelings.

Where did these values came from?

These were values that you adopted from childhood because you saw them in action or because it happen to you in your own life and now you assume it to be true. What I mean, is if you in the past expressed your feelings to friends, family, partner or at work and that "backfired" on you, then you will immediately assume that every time you do express your feelings and communicate freely then you will suffer because of it.

Is communication bad then?

So you learn that some communication is not healthy after all and you continue to protect yourself from expressing these to other people. What happens then? Well you don't say nothing and because you say nothing, the person or people that you don't communicate with, do something else that is inherent to the human being.

They make assumptions

People assume your thoughts because you haven't expressed them in the first place. By making assumptions, they don't make these assumptions based on facts but based on their own values, beliefs and rules. They analyse your silence and then they processed internally with their own guidelines. More often than not their assumptions are completely wrong as they don't take into account you!

What is the solution to this?

Well no matter how hard for you and for others, always always really say how you feel and express it to the best of your own abilities. I am not saying for you to go and tell a complete stranger how you feel today, but to the people that is close to you, like your partner, parents, children and friends.

They will appreciate it!

These people will not only appreciate your honesty, and also from the start of your relationship they will learn your own values, beliefs and rules from the very beginning thus making your relationship stronger.

So, what stuff have you got stuck in your chest that you haven't said yet and you should? Are you going to continue in your silence or are you going to finally let it all out? I let you make that decision...

Hope you have a fantastic day!

Speak soon,

Paulo