Who do you have around you?

Who is your support group? Who are these people and how much support to do they provide you? These people can be crucial for your success or failure, not only in your goal but also in your life in general! Yesterday during a session with one of my clients we discussed how important the ones around you can be.

Why are they so important?

You see these people hold a certain degree of power with you. Their comments and their actions can, and will, affect your motivation and will to succeed. When you sit down with your closest friends and tell them what your plans are, how do they react?

Are they quick to criticise, diminish your capabilities or even say things like "that is a really great goal but you will never be able to" or "do you really think you can do that?".

Or are they completely and utter supportive of you and completely believe in you? Well if they don't sincerely give you their support then they are not the right people to have around you. If they don't do this then it is time for you to make a very important and sometimes difficult decision. Are you keeping them close by or are you letting them go?

They don't want you to succeed...

You see people can be envious and jealous of what you are looking to achieve. They might be scared that once you reach there, they will no longer fit into your life and lifestyle. They will also think that the focus of your relationship with them will stop being about them and instead your successes will be in their mind.

So, consciously or subconsciously, they will sabotage your efforts, with their words or actions, so you don't achieve your goals or you give up on your dreams. If you do that, they will the first ones there to comfort you and tell you that "the dream was too big" or "it wasn't meant to happen" or "don't worry about it, you still have me"!

You know who they are...

When I was discussing this with my client, it hit a nerve and immediately my client knew exactly who amongst its friends or colleagues fit that description. And I admit it, it is a daunting task, knowing that in order to succeed in your goal, there will be some negative consequences of you actually achieving your goal.

This kind of people, might even be supportive to your face, but behind your back will either tell others that you will never be able to do it or even do things to distract you from your goals. They can be emotionally draining for you or get you to ran around in circles to help them. Like when I spoke with my client, I bet that you know at this point who amongst your circle of friends or associates fits that description.

Their friends are a reflection of you...

There is a Portuguese saying that describes this perfectly "Tell me who your friends are and I tell you who you are!". I am sure that there is an equal saying in English and probably in every language. So look around to who is around you. If they don't believe in you, or they criticise what you do, to your face or behind your back, or they drain you both physically and emotionally with their requests or inaptitude to do something, then it is time to move away from them.

I have done that throughout my life, and will continue to do so, when someone does not wholeheartdly believes in me or my plans then it is a question of "thank you very much but I will have to let you go".

Let them go, before they bring you down!

Naturally through life you do that, from my childhood for example, there is only one person that still remains, to this day as close to my heart and as supportive since day one! All the others have "disappeared" from my life.

Now you might argue that is because life took you in separate directions, but if they really were that important for your future life and plans they would have stuck around you, and you around them.

So what should you do at this stage?

Well don't go rushing to judgements and decide on the spot who to get rid off. Simply approach your friends and associates individually and tell them all your plans and wait for their reaction and as well their actions within the next week or so. From their behaviour, comments and actions you will soon know their "true colours" and then you can make your decision.

Support, support, support...

Surround yourself with the right people for you and you will succeed! You want people that not only give you the support but also remind you, when you are feeling down, why you are doing all this and how much you want that goal. They will congratulate you on your successes and help to get you back on track on your failures, and give you that proverbial "kick in the back side" when they know you are failing yourself!!!

Get a fantastic support group around you, find people that have done it before and ask for their support, they don't necessarily have to do anything physical to help, just hearing or reading their words will suffice you! Go on, go after your dream!!!

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo