Well, we are all individuals...
Even though we are all humans and of the same race, we are also all different. We all have different ideals and different objectives in life. We all think, at least, slightly different from each other. No two persons in the World are exactly the same, even identical twins are not completely identical, so why would we all want the same happiness as each other?
Also every day it changes...
Also what makes you happy today, might, and probably will, be different from what makes you happy tomorrow. Its a bit like you and 99 other people going for dinner at a restaurant. Imagine for a moment that this restaurant, is a different type of restaurant than any other you have ever been to. In this restaurant there is no menu, you simply order what you really, really feel like eating.
You order what makes you happy...
You sit down and the waiter comes to you and asks what you want. As there is no menu, what are the odds that two individuals will order the exact same meal? I would venture that it would be impossible! Probably you and your partner, or you and your children, will have something very similar, but there will be differences between the two dishes, even if is just seasoning! Go on just ask the person next to you now, or when you see someone later, what meal would they order now that would make them happy. I bet that it will not be exactly the same as yours.
Tomorrow you go to the same restaurant...
And you are going to order food again, but you want to eat something different. You don't feel like having the exacr same meal again, two days in a row. The first meal made you happy one day, but in the next you want something else. We all define happiness differently from everyone else and every day that definition will be slightly different as well, as you evolved and are no longer the same person as you were yesterday. So how can you find your happiness?
Well, listen to your feelings...
The only way you have to "judge" your happiness is to "be in touch" with your emotions. Listen to your feelings, to what your heart is telling you. Whether it is in your relationship, your friendships, your job, or any single decision you make in your life if you listen to what is inside you then you are always being happy.
Listen to your inner voice
When in doubt listen to your own inner voice that guides you to always be true to yourself. Don't do things to please others if it doesn't please you. If you do you will end up resenting that person and more importantly resent yourself. No matter how hard or difficult that may be always be true to your emotions, beliefs and values.
Watch out for your limiting beliefs!
A lot of people have a hard time accepting that they can be happy and that they indeed deserve to be happy! They have self sabotaged themselves all their lives by telling themselves that they don't deserve to be happy, so they never attain the level of happiness that they wish for. When the cycle is completed, their self-prophecy of not deserving to be happy is proven right and they fall even deeper into that trap.
Accept that you deserve to be happy!
You need to start accepting that you deserve all the happiness in the World! Accept that whatever happiness comes your way as result of your hard work, talent, sweat and (sometimes) tears is rightly yours. Learn to love and respect yourself. The more you do that the more deserving you feel of receiving and the happier you will be.
Sometimes its not possible to always do what makes me happy
I know that is true. Sometimes you have to do things that don't necessary make you happy whilst doing it. We all have had summer jobs or jobs whilst at University or College that didn't provide a great deal of happiness whilst doing it. I know I had some jobs that bored me to sleep, but the rewards I was able to reap from that hard work made it all worthwhile and contributed to my happiness . Just remember the fairytale, once in a while you may have to kiss a frog in order to get your prince or princess!
If you are happy, everything is always great
If you feel happy, the World is a better place, you will notice every little detail that makes you smile. By making being happy your main objective in life you enable yourself to be happy! Sometimes we tend to put others happiness ahead of ours. You probably did it with your partner or your kids, but if you are not happy in the first place why do you think they will be if you have put their happiness ahead of yours?
Put your mask on before you help others
Remember the safety instructions in planes, where they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help others? Well do the same with your happiness. Be happy first, because if you are then you will be able to "help" others do the same. Make sure you do things that make you happy or are a stepping stone in the direction of your happiness.
Ask yourself...
Is all that I do today making me happy or a step in the direction of happiness? If the answer yes then congratulations, if the answer is no, then you need to seriously make some changes for your own sake and, you guessed it, happiness!!!
Hope you have a happy wonderful day!
Speak soon,
Paulo
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