“R-E-S-P-E-C-T; Find out what it means to me”

I’m sure you remember the song! Aretha Franklin had a huge success with it and it was a hit all over the world. What does respect mean to you? Aretha was asking for a little bit of respect from her man when he gets home. Now, far from me to comment on whether she had the right idea or not, so here it goes my two pence about respect!

According to the dictionary, respect is defined as:

"to show high or special regard or an act of giving particular attention."

Is that what it means to you? Well I agree with the definition from the dictionary but, in order for us to be able to respect others, we first must respect ourselves.

Day after day, we complain about others disrespecting us or not being proper either in their comments or in their actions, but we ultimately forget about ourselves. If we have self respect, then it is my view that others cannot disrespect us. If I respect myself first and foremost I will not put myself in a position that others can disrespect me.

Respect is earned...

I do agree with the common saying that people have to earn our respect from us, and yes respect is earned. And if you respect yourself and if the other person respects her or himself then the process of mutual respect is very straightforward.

The problem occurs when one or the two people don’t have any self respect, and when they don’t it is difficult for mutual respect to occur. Before you demand respect from others or expect others to earn your respect, you MUST develop your own Self-Respect!

“He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow”

How to develop self-respect?

Be true to yourself! Find out who you are deep down in the core. Recognise your flaws and weaknesses and work on them. Look at your strengths and develop them further. Enjoy life. Do fun activities and better yourself at all times, and above all do things that you feel like doing.

I know sometimes is difficult

But, you need to learn how to put yourself first. You can never develop self respect if you put the interests and wellbeing of others above you. I am guilty of that in the past and by doing that I ended up being miserable and always “bending over backwards” to keep the peace.

Do you know what that gave me?

It gave me a very low opinion of myself and, ironically, the people that I did everything for lost their respect for me! Only when I started to think about myself first and accounting for my needs first and then, and only then, dealing with the others needs I developed my self-respect further.

How did I did it?

I started doing stuff I wanted to do, experiencing new things, being happy. My confidence went sky high and I can honestly say I felt great once more. Now, I am not saying that you will stop doing things for others altogether, not at all. It might even be quite the opposite. What I am saying is that you only do things for others if you really want to do it!

Do stuff YOU want to do!

If you are asked to do something that you don’t feel like doing, don’t just do it “to keep the peace” as eventually the peace will be transformed into war. Just be confident, have self-respect and simply say you don’t feel like doing. You might say that is difficult to do that or you will end up not doing anything together with your partner or your kids or friends.

Re-Evaluate your relationships...

Now I doubt very much that you will not want to do things with your kids, as they are your kids, by all means don’t give in to all their demands or they too will lose their respect for you. If you cannot honestly have things in common to do with your partner, and everything you currently do with him/her is out of “having to do it” then I’m afraid you probably should re-evaluate your relationship altogether!

Same with friends! If you and your friends don’t have anything to do that you want to and enjoy doing, then find new friends!!Don’t waste your life doing what you don’t feel like doing. Develop your self-respect, love yourself, be happy and enjoy life!

Have a brilliant day,

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

Tattoo on Friday...

I went to have my back tattoo finished on Friday. It is all done now in my back, well I think it is anyway :-). Anyway, when I was "under the needle" so to speak, and enduring a bit of pain in the muscle areas had a couple of thoughts that I would like to share today.

First an advice...

If you do have a tattoo done, being too lean is a hindrance... The areas that hurt the most were on my traps, which are pure muscle, whilst the areas that were fine and less painful, and strangely pleasurable, were actually over the bone, which is usually an area that most people don't enjoy...

The other is to do with pain & pleasure

As you know, I firmly believe that pain and pleasure is the principle that rules all of our lives, we either spend our time avoiding pain or seeking pleasure. And it can be argued that the successful people in life are the ones that are prepared to endure the perceived potential pain of doing something because the pleasure at the end is worthwhile!

And tattoos are the perfect example

When you decide to do a tattoo, you know that there will be pain in the process, but the pleasure of having your tattoo done, is, in your eyes, worth the pain. So you endure the pain and you go for it "all guns blazing" because you truly want your pleasure at the end.

Same applies with cosmetic surgery

I haven't had cosmetic surgery but I would venture my opinion that the people that do it, do it due to the pain that they endure from whatever area they are not happy with in their bodies at that moment and because of the enormous perceived pleasure they will have about themselves once the treatment is done.

We can delve deeper into the psychologic ramifications of the process, but at a basic simple level is all about pain and pleasure. In this case there is two different kinds of pain; the one you endure at the moment from not being happy with yourself and the one from the surgery itself!

And because you want the pleasure at the end hard enough and you want to get rid of the current pain you are experiencing you will endure the surgery, the pain from it and also the pain from the recovery process to experience the pleasure of feeling better about your body!

Losing weight is in the same boat

When you embark on a "weight loss" quest, you know from the start that there will be some pain and some challenges ahead, but you persevere throughout because you really want the pleasure of having a fantastic toned body at the end. It is all about pain and pleasure and how much you really want the pleasure!

Whatever goal you have

Always remember, there will be pain along the way, there will be challenges, obstacles, problems and difficult situations, but if your goal is big enough, powerful enough and important enough to you, then you will be able to endure all that life "throws" at you and achieve your goal and enjoy the pleasure at the end!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

Enjoy today!

How many times do you catch yourself thinking about what happened yesterday or last week or even last year? How many hours of your life have you spent thinking about the past? Worse even, how much time have you wasted dwelling on possible outcomes of what might happen tomorrow or next week or next year?

Can you see the underlying theme?

Time you spend dreaming about the future or thinking about the past is time you will never have back today! There is nothing wrong thinking about good times in the past or visualising your future, but if you spend most of your time concentrating on what happened or what is yet to come then you are really wasting precious minutes and hours.

Your time is precious

You will never have that time again and you should use it in the present! Today is a beautiful day and tomorrow is always tomorrow, you can never have tomorrow today so why waste most of today thinking about it? Also what happened in the past can never be re-done or re-lived.

It is so easy to let go and avoid the current day.

If you are going through a bad patch it is much easier to “cry” about the past or dread the future, but you end up losing the opportunity to do something about it all today. By all means learn from what happened in the past, but there is no need to dissect it to the extreme and waste precious moments.

Same applies with dreaming about the future...

When you will meet the perfect stranger or win the lottery or get a new job or just when things are better. Again visualising your future for a few moments a day is a positive action but if you spend all day thinking about the possible outcomes of the future instead of living in the present you are wasting today. And if you actually act on it today, then that future might soon be your present!

Enjoy today!

Enjoy today, do something today to get you closer to your goals. Be happy and grateful for what you have and act on your life. Whatever you do today if it is according to your purpose and towards your goal, no matter how small action you take it will be a positive one. Similarly the time you spend thinking about the past or the future is a time wasted that you will never have again.

There is always tomorrow, but you will never have another today!!!

Go on, go and take positive actions towards your goals and enjoy today!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

One and Only You!

Friday's post, nice simple and straight to the point...

There is only one of you!

Stop trying to conform to the "Status Quo" and be an individual!

Enjoy!

"One And Only You

Every single blade of grass,

And every flake of snow

— Is just a wee bit different...

There’s no two alike, you know.

From something small,

like grains of sand,

To each gigantic star

All were made with THIS in mind:

To be just what they are!

How foolish then, to imitate—

How useless to pretend!

Since each of us comes from a MIND

Whose ideas never end.

There’ll only be just ONE of ME

To show what I can do

— And you should likewise feel very proud,

There’s only ONE of YOU.

That is where it all starts

With you, a wonderful

unlimited human being.

James T. Moore"

Have a brilliant day!

Enjoy your weekend.

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

Love is a Risk...

I have spent the last few days ill and without energy to do much. Feel much better today, was only a small case of flu... yes man flu J. Anyway, was watching a bit of television, whilst having my breakfast the other day and Frasier was on. In this episode he said something that stuck to my mind and I thought I would write about it today.

“Love is a risk, but a risk worth taking!”

When he said it I just thought, wow, how right are you?! He hit the nail on the head. Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. When you are in love, the world feels a much better place and everything is just right! Most people love the feeling of love. But at the same time most people are afraid of rejection and being hurt!

Do you see the conflict in that?

One of the highest values that most of us hold is Love. It is one of my highest values as well. But afraid of rejection and being hurt is also one of the highest values, in this case negative values that most of us hold. These are two conflicting values that work against you!

You see, even though you value love, because you are afraid of getting hurt, you will end up not pursuing love altogether. It all spans from the Pain – Pleasure principle (or theory). We are either pursuing pleasure or avoiding pain, but because pain is usually perceived as something with much higher consequences on you, you tend to sooner avoid Pain than seek Pleasure.

So we start making excuses...

We make up a long list of excuses to justify why we are not going to seek the pleasure of being or finding love.” I am too busy”, or “need to concentrate on work” or even “don’t have time or place for love in my life.” Or the stronger, “it won’t work out anyway and he/she will hurt me in the end!”

But despite this avoidance of pain, you are still in pain in a way because you will never know how that relationship would have turn out and you might have missed out on... love! The question you going to have to ask yourself is, what is worst, to risk love and potentially be hurt in the end or not risk anything at all and be sure you will be always safe, but alone?

I take love anytime!

I do, and even recently I took that risk and it didn't work out in the end. But I would never regret the decisions I took and the fact that I fell in Love. I met someone truly wonderful that made me very happy. Yes it has ended, and no I am not going to tell you why it did, and yes it did hurt, but love is so wonderful that for me it is rather a case of “better to have loved and lost than not having loved at all!”

It is a risk worth taking!

It really is. You see the reason why it will always be a risk worth taking for me, is that I am always in love with the most important person in my world. Who is that person? Me! I love myself and love my life, and because I do, there is nothing that can happen in a relationship with someone else that will ever destroy my self-love.

Most people forget that.

Most people forget to put themselves first or love themselves first and then get into a relationship where they transfer their needs and requirements into someone else. If and when that relationship ends they feel miserable and distraught because they haven’t mastered their own self love and were too dependent on their partner for reassurance, respect and love.

Put your oxygen mask first

Have you ever wondered why in airplanes they advise you to put your oxygen masks first before you help your children or others? When there is a drop in oxygen in the cabin, you will immediately feel very drowsy and tired and if you waste your energy helping someone else you will put yourself in danger and then you will not be of help to anyone else.

The same applies with love and happiness

If you don’t love and respect yourself and are happy in your own skin, how can you love, respect and be happy with someone else? You can’t because you are always expecting the other person to demonstrate to you at all times all those things that you don’t see in your own self.

Love yourself, Respect yourself and be happy with yourself

When you finally reach that stage that you are fully happy and comfortable in yourself, then you will reach a state of enlightenment where your partner, children and friends, will add to it rather than be it. You can then fully commit yourself to other relationships without fearing pain, because ultimately you have yourself!

Start to love yourself fully today. Acknowledge your beauty, your wisdom, your “awesomeness”. You are truly wonderful, realise that now!!!

Hope you have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

x

Happy Birthday Mum!

Today is my dearest Mum’s Birthday and I thought I would dedicate my blog today to write about her and what she means to me!

You probably heard it all before, but in my case it truly is true, my Mum is the best Mum in the World! Well, she is to me. She has been more than a Mother at many times, a friend, a shoulder to cry and a confident to hear my mishaps or disappointments.

Throughout my life, our life, we have been through a lot and always came out the other side laughing. This year has been a really testing year for both of us and we are still here. Loads of things that others did, or happened to them, impacted on our life this year and you are already smiling aren’t you?

I was thinking before that when this year is over we are going to look back and really realise how much we did and how much we have grown this year! Well that is the subject to another post hey? Probably for my birthday next month.

In my teenage years you always believed in me and were there for me at all times. When I needed a hug, a kiss, or a kick on the backside, you were the one I turned too first. Even my friends loved you like a Mum and still do today.

When I had the surgery that saved my life, you were the one that stayed up all night next to my bed until I woke up... And then you were the one I bugged all night asking if it was day time already J. I still remember the days we spent talking about me going abroad to study or me asking your advice on my life.

In a way you were my first Coach, you always believed in me, believed in my capabilities and always told me to follow my dreams. When the opportunity came for me to come to England, you were the one that told me to believe in me, because you already did.

So I followed my dream, and throughout these years you never once stopped believing in me! I adore you more than I can express in words and I wish that you finally start living the life you want and deserve.

You were the one I confided on when I had problems in my marriage or relationships. You were the first to know about all the important things in my life and still are. I admire mothers out there in the world that look out for their kids and I have to say that most mothers are special and wonderful, and I have met a few that are truly fantastic, but need to take exception and single out my wonderful Mummy!!!!

I love our relationship. Love the fact that the values you gave me, in the great part, were fantastic and helped me succeed in life. The fact I can cook, clean, iron and all the other things that can do today is all down to you, and for that I thank you.

I thank you for all the sacrifices you have done for me throughout your life. I thank you for the continuous belief and support I have had from you all my life. I thank you for telling me to follow my dream and start my coaching business, knowing that it would be difficult at times.

I thank you for a lot more, that I can't or wont discuss here and now, but most of all I thank you for bring me into this world and for being my Mother and my friend!!

Anyway, for once I am running out of words to write J I love you to bits, I always will, enjoy your birthday today with your dearest and fantastic Husband and Friend Augusto and I will see you for Christmas. In the mean time here it is a ton of hugs, kisses and “xoxos”

Love you Mum, Happy Birthday.

Your Son,

Paulo xxx

Why would you need a Coach?

When I meet someone new, at a network function, toastmasters or any social occasion and we started chatting, inevitably the question always pops up, so what do you do? When I tell them that I am a Coach, some look back at me with a blank expression, as if to say what do you mean by that?

I usually follow it up by saying that I work with people like you in helping them find direction in life, focus on achieving specific goals and push them out of their comfort zone so they truly become whom they have always dreamed to be.

I love coaching...

For me being a Coach is more than a profession really, I love Coaching others and help them flourish from a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. I enjoy listening to their successes and know that I had a positive influence in them and as well am there to help them re-focus and reinforce their self believe and confidence if things don’t go their way straight away.

Before I embark on a Coaching relationship with a new client I schedule a consultation for us to talk. This consultation serves two purposes really. To see where exactly my client is at this moment in time and what his or hers biggest concerns, challenges and obstacles are, but it is also an opportunity to see if the two of us can work together successfully. If I am honest, the second purpose is the most important as if we are not compatible there is no point in us working together at all!

I believe in you...

You see, for me to work with you and help you re-ignite your life, I need to believe in you, I need to know that you are willing to put the effort in and have the commitment to go out there and “fight” for your goal.

Me and My Coach...

I too have a Coach, and she plays a big part on my success. She believes in me when no one else did, and she continuously pushes me to be who I want to be and break through my own self imposed boundaries. We all have these boundaries in place and as coaching progresses yours will become more and more minuscule and less important.

Caroline, my Coach, has been coaching me for 11 months now and she has saw me grow as a person and helped me steer myself to the success that I am experiencing today and will continue to experience in my life.

Why Am I Telling You All This?

Well I have some questions to ask you. If you could have your perfect life and everything be as you dreamed off, what would your perfect life be like? What do you really want to have in your life? What would make your life completely happy and truly rewarding?

Whatever your answers are one thing I can tell you with absolute certainty, everything that you dream off is possible. Everything that you want you can have in your life.

You can have it all...

You can have more love in your life and improve all your relationships. You can remove most of the stresses you experience now and get rid of addictions. You can start your own business, if that is what you want, and increase its revenue or you can finally have the job that you always wanted and create the lifestyle and financial freedom you desire.

You can get into the shape of your life and have a body that will stop traffic. In short you can have it all and a Coach can be the person that will help you get there! Off course like in all aspects of life and in all professions, you need to find the right Coach for you, and I’m afraid it isn’t one size fits all.

Which Coach?

Some coaches are specialists in one area and others on others. That is why it is imperative that when you do start looking for a Coach, you find the one that best meets your needs. You are unique, so your situation, requirements and needs will be unique as well. I have experienced great success with my clients in two specific areas, physical excellence and wellbeing and in mindset and confidence coaching.

My clients profiles...

My clients focusing on the physical excellence, are really focused in achieving the body of their dreams and have several now really getting their life under control to ensure the necessary focus, willpower and determination to ensure that their nutrition, training and mindset are tuned in for success. They are usually business men on their mid 30s, with a very busy lifestyle with an interest in training and now ready to finally have the body of their dreams.

My Re-Ignite Your Life clients are traditionally women, that have reached a crossroads in their lives and are in a quest to discover their true purpose in life and getting ready to pursue it finally. They usually busy Mums that have dedicated their lives to the wellbeing of their offspring and others and have managed to neglect themselves.

Even though the above are my “typical” clients, I do have clients on either area that don’t fit the typical profile, like I said we are all unique so it would be very difficult for all my clients to fit into a very specific profile.

So, are you really ready for Coaching?

If you are still reading this post then I assume that you are either interested or at least you are trying to find out a bit more about it all to satisfy your curiosity. Either way it is fine, really. What I am here to tell you is that you can completely and in some cases dramatically change your life.

I have done that myself, went from a high paid, high profile, highly stressful job to having the best job in the world, by changing some of my beliefs and values and manifesting into my life certain people and opportunities to make my life a truly happy and wonderful one... And there is still a lot more to come!!!

Don’t believe in all the negative people out there...

You can have it all. Don’t believe in the scare mongers out there and the people that constantly try to put you down or tell you to just accept what you have got! You deserve more, you deserve all that you ever wished, dreamed and desired!!

Take Action!

A very important part of Coaching and of achieving your goals is to take action. So go on, there is no time like the present. Send me a message with your details and what your goals and dreams are and I will honestly tell you if I am the right coach to help you. If I feel that I am not, fear not, I have an excellent group of Coach Friends, that cover different niches from mine and I will refer you to them.

You can have all you want and the easiest and more supportive way of doing it is with a coach! A coach will help you achieve all you want and at a greater speed and heightened focus than if you went on your own. A coach will keep you focus, motivated and on track for you to achieve your goals and finally have the life that you dreamed off and deserve!

I have a Coach and will have one forever!

I tell you one thing; I have a coach, and will continue to do so. Working with Caroline not only helped me focus on my business success, it also has helped me on my personal life a great deal. After 11 months of working together I have achieved a great deal, and after every single session I feel refreshed, re-invigorated and believing in me that little bit extra.

I believe in coaching wholeheartedly and also believe that we all, you included, need a coach in our life to finally succeed in the areas where you have failed previously. You can finally start living a great life, your great life, full of happiness, fun, freedom, health and wealth.

Are you going to Re-Ignite Your Life?

Getting a coach did change my life and I am confident that I can help you change your life as well! I can help you Re-Ignite Your Life! Don’t waste another minute and get in touch.

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo