Goal Setting

It is that time of the year again. The time where we start planning our New Year resolutions. The time when we what we want to change about our life. But why do we wait for this date to arrive to make changes? Why do we choose the 1st of January as the starting point for these big changes? Any date in the year can be used for a massive change or for a goal to be set, so why the 1st of January?

Well, traditionally we choose the new year to do it as it symbolizes the start of something new. "Out with the old and in with the new!". To be honest it doesn't really matter when you decide to make the change or when the actual date is. What really matters is that you made the decision that you wanted to make that change.

So, you have decided to make a new year resolution. What are new year resolutions? Resolutions are "nothing" more than decisions you have made towards part or parts of your life where you want to make a change. Usually at this time of the year we tend to make "dramatic" decisions, like losing weight, stop smoking or finding a new job. Whatever the resolution it will be a life changing decision and it will be extremely important to the person making that decision.

New year resolutions are then life changing decisions, goals we set ourselves for the year ahead, goals we genuinely want to achieve and we commit ourselves to get.

So the big question is, if we really want to achieve these goals, these new year resolutions, how come we generally fail at them? How come, when we get to the beginning of February, we haven't managed to stop smoking or lose any weight or any of the goals?

Well, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but the majority of the goals you set yourself are unsuccessful because of... YOU!!! I could "fluffy" it or "sugar coat" it but I would not be doing my job properly if I did it. No, the reason we fail our goals is because of us no one else!

How come we fail to achieve or implement our new year resolutions then? If we really want these goals, if they are really going to make a difference in our life, if we are really going to benefit from these changes how come we fail to achieve them? Because 9 times out of 10 we set ourselves to failure at the very beginning, when we actually set them up!

The key to achieve change and get your goals is to set fantastic goals in the first place. You have to make these goals really desirable and ensure you really want them. Don't set yourself goals just because your partner, kids or parents think you should have. Don't make half hearted goals about something you really are not 100% committed to.

The key to achieve your goals is to really want to achieve these goals, they have to be goals that makes you get up in the morning and know that you really want them. This goal has to be completely dependent on you, no one else, you need to own the goal. By owning the goal, you and you alone is accountable for that goal success.

A goal must be clearly defined, with a start, middle and end. You also need to want to get it. It has to be something that inspires you, something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, something that will really make a difference for the better in your life. By ensuring to follow these guidelines as well as a few others and you are in the path to success.

And this is another area where I can help. The very first session you take with me, we will work together to set up some fantastic goals for you. They will be all about you and what makes you tick. We will take a snapshot of the present and look towards the future to set your goals. And to set you on your way and as it is the season of good will, I am offering throughout January a complimentary free first session.

What have you got to lose? If you are interested in a free of charge first session, either face to face or via skype, just drop me a line on reigniteyourlife@googlemail.com with a contact number and we will discuss it further.

Happy new year to all of you!

"Warm and Fluffy" Definition of Life Coaching

As promised in a previous post here it is a "warm and fluffy" description of Life Coaching, courtesy of Neil Asher of the New Insights Life Coaching Ltd company of which I trained with. This piece describes life coaching as well as the relationship between Client and Coach:

Imagine a relationship where the total focus is on you, on what you want in your life, and on what will help you achieve it.

Imagine someone listening, not only to your words, but also what’s behind them and to the spaces between the words.

Someone in tune with the nuances of your voice, with your emotion, your energy, receiving everything you communicate and listens to the very best in you, even when you cannot hear it in yourself.

Imagine someone who will hold you accountable and keep you moving forward towards your dreams and goals.

Imagine a relationship with someone who is totally curious about your dreams and aspirations, at what makes you tick and what you value above all things. Someone who wants to know what you are most passionate in your life. Someone who will help you clarify your goals and provide you the tools for action and learning that leads to the results you want.

Imagine a relationship in your life with someone who is sometimes even more committed to what you want in life than you are.

Imagine what it would be life if someone knew your values and your life purpose and was holding you true to them. Someone who will hold the flag at the top of the hill, encouraging you to press on, someone to celebrate your victories with and help you learn from your setbacks.

Imagine a relationship with someone:

- Who will absolutely tell you the truth – the truth about where you are strong!

- Who knows where you sell yourself short.

- Who knows you can handle it and knows that’s what you want.

- Who sees how big you can be and constantly holds that image for you – even when you can’t hold it for yourself!

Imagine someone who listens to you without judgement and allows you to show emotion – in fact accepts you without analysing you.

Imagine you get to talk to this person every week, even when you have just made a mess of things or when you’ve had great success. This is the place you visit regularly and consistently to consolidate, to integrate, and to push on!

Imagine a relationship where you finally break free of those self-limiting conversations you have been having over the years – where the voices of sabotage are simply noticed for what they are and the powerful part of you is always encouraged.

In a simple and beautiful, caring and loving way, this is what a life coach can offer a client in their sessions together. Is this something you would benefit from? Is this what you have been searching for?

Merry Christmas Everybody

Hello everybody, today I thought I would just write about the holidays and what they represent for me and what they represent this year...

Well this year, 2008, has definitely been a year of change for me. A lot of things have happened, some bad, some good, some that were bad but turned out to be good. I read something the other day, which I must apologise as I don't remember who said it, but it was very poignant and very true, "life is change, growth is optional, choose wisely".

It is one of the most significant statements I read lately, we are going through life and we are forever changing, but the growing is something we need to decide if we are doing or not. Well I can safely say I have grown alot in the last 12 months, more so in the last 3 or 4 and I have changed a lot and learned a great deal.

You see I, like you and everyone in the World really, have made a lot of mistakes through out my life, and I keep saying to myself that even though I have made a lot of bad things in my life I don't regret any as they are part of who I am, all the good and bad things that happened in my life and that I have made are what made me what I am today.

Unfortunately I do not have those powers, I can not go back in time and undo my mistakes. Unfortunately that is one thing that has not been invented or made possible to the human kind, to go back in time to undo their mistakes.

So why I am saying all this and what has this got to do with Life Coaching. Well Life Coaching has been one of those good things that happened in my life that made a difference and that helped me grow through life rather than just plough along.

See I am a Life Coach and have my own Life Coach myself and through the work done with my coach I have made small changes in my life and who I am to accomplish my goals and to improve my life. Those little changes have made me a better person, the Paulo I am today will never do half of the mistakes I have made in the past. Most importantly the person I am today will never do what I did that day almost six months ago... But I did.

And that is another important feature of Life Coaching, we do not look at the past trying to find reasons, trying to find justifications for what we done, no, in Life Coaching we have to look at the past as something that has happened and that we can not change, past, good or bad, brought us to where we were when we decided to make a change in our life. To the point where we, me, you, decided to go and see a Life Coach so that together we can start moulding the present to achieve the goals you want in the future.

Well, that is it really, 2008 has been a rollercoaster of a year, a lot of bad things have happened but a lot of good, fantastic things happened as well, I have got out of a destructive relationship, I have discovered Life Coaching, my beautiful sister has had a healthy baby boy and I have re-ignited some of the best friendships I have ever had (Andre, Diogo and Joao).

I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and a happy new year as well. To all my family and friends I love you all very much, thank you for being there in the bad days and for sharing with me the good days. You all mean a lot to me and I will forever hold you all in my heart.

Here to a fantastic 2009!!!

So, what is Life Coaching?

Life coaching is a way to realise your true potential through a process of uncovering and then eliminating destructive behavioural and thinking patterns in your life in a supportive, caring and inspirational environment.

And how do we achieve the above? We do it by empowering the individual, the client, with all the tools and resources he/she requires to be able to enforce the desired change in his/her life! All these tools and resources are scientifically tested and proven techniques that will help the client develop his/her self and achieve the goals set. Coaching focus always in the solution to the issue the client wants to resolve in his/hers personal development.

We are not going to look at the past and find reasons for things that happened. That is not the role of the Life Coach and if your coach does that with you, you need to question his/hers role in your coaching. The role of the life coach is to look at the present with you, help you analyse what you want to change and put in place a action plan to achieve the goals you set up to achieve.

Coaching is a fantastic process of growth and discovery and achievement of goals, your goals! Coaching is not “fluffy and warm” and is not a relationship where the coach molly coddles you all the time, it is a process where at times the coach tells you well done for achieving a milestone or goal and other times gives you a kick in proverbial backside to drive you into action if needed be.

A Life Coach is your guiding light in the darkness of life, that will not tell you what to do, but instead will give you the tools and resources for you to decide what is it you want to do/ obtain/ achieve or acquire in your life and then help you every step of the way to achieve those goals!

Next time I will post a "fluffy and warm" definition from my mentors at New Insights.

All the best to you all and until the next time :-)

Re Ignite Your Life

First post of my new blog. Well the title says it all. I have re-ignited my own life and in the process have embarked in a journey to where I can help others to re-ignite their lifes and help them get there.

So I am now a Life Coach. After being in a job where I was not happy for a while I decided that this was the time for me to change my life and do something for myself. I then started a process of self discovery and self help, where I trailed the internet for books and other literature which would help me assess what I wanted from life and indeed what I wanted to do for a living.

Life coaching was something that I "stumbled" accross and that fitted me like a glove. I am someone that has always helped others and coached others to get to their goals and outcomes.

The purpose of this blog, is not only to shed some light on Life Coaching, introduce myself as a Life Coach, as well as giving some insights to what actually goes on in a coach-client relationship.

I will post some of my insights about life coaching and my definition of life coaching in separate posts, but in the mean time I will let you know where I am at this moment.

I have completed all my training with New Insights and done all my quizzes. I am now waiting to do my final exam so I can fully qualify as a coach. I have 4 clients signed up which are now embarking on their process of change to achieve the goals they set up.

I will update this blog every day and will do the utmost to answer all queries and questions.