Re Ignite Your Life

Reflections...

2009-10-17T15:36:00.002+01:00

It’s my birthday tomorrow... 36 years old! I have been thinking for a few weeks about writing a blog post about it and just put some reflections out there. I have to admit it is not an original idea. Simon Cowell recently celebrated his 50^th birthday and wrote a public letter to his younger self.

Now I am not going to do the same, don’t think that I have reached that stage of my life yet where I need to give “advice” or “encouragement” to my younger self, but felt the need to do some kind of inward reflection.

Probably need is not the right word, but it stands for now as I cannot really decide on what that word is going to be. So, tomorrow, Sunday 18^th of October 2009 is my 36^th birthday. I never have been one to feel age as something detrimental or scary. Also never been one to wish that I was 18 again or go back in time to change this or that.

Throughout my life I have had many successes, some failures, made some fantastic decisions and some appalling ones. Made many mistakes, some silly and negligible, others more serious and dramatic. But, and this is a big but, I don’t really regret any of those mistakes, no matter what they were...

You see, the person I am today is a direct result of all the good things and bad things that happened to me or that I have done. Some bad things were done to me and that left me really upset, sometimes depressed and even almost destroyed, but, I have always came back fighting and smiling.

Around this time last year it finally daunted on me that I needed to make radical changes. Not only in my professional life but also in my personal life. I am not going to say that Coaching saved my life, because it hasn’t, as with all the advice and guidance I give to let you know that all change is down to you, the same applies to me.

I made all the changes, and dealt with them all, but the fact is as time went on I took a greater interest in Coaching and started, coaching others, and applying the same principles, tools and techniques to my own life in order to achieve the objective I set myself to achieve and apply the change required.

I consider myself an extremely lucky person. You see I “work” doing what I love and that is a special gift that anyone and everyone should enjoy. And this is only possible because I made a decision to radically change my life and follow my dream.

Yes it was scary, difficult and at times daunting, but this is something that I really wanted and all the sacrifices and obstacles that have come my way were in a way, worth it. Things are much better today than they were 6 months ago and they will phenomenally better in 6 months time! That I know for sure!

In the last 12 months, I have left a highly paid job, that gave me the company car and a nice financial and stable life, but I felt miserable, undervalued and, in a way, taken for a ride. So when the opportunity came, due to financial difficulties of the company, I accepted early redundancy and left.

I finished my qualifications in Coaching and NLP and was ready to take in the World. Along the way made some poor decisions in people to follow and listen to, but also found some amazing people that gave me advice, guidance and mentored me towards my success.

I now have an established number of clients about to launch my website with my free report to help others and am currently finishing writing my first book. I have days where I work 18 hours solid, and I am happy for it, because I truly believe in what I do and I absolutely love what I do.

I have an outstanding group of friends and family around me that love, respect and admire me and are there for me whenever I need some help, support or guidance and they know they can count on me come what may.

Yes I am single again. A few months ago I had thought I had found the Woman that was going to be my life partner. Sadly it was meant to be and the relationship ended before it had a chance to really begin and develop. I wish it hadn’t finished but it is one of those situations out of my control, and like I said I live a life of no regrets. The future with her could have been amazing, but life does go on!

I will not lie to you, some days are difficult, others less so, but when you live the life you are suppose to live, nothing is impossible and there is no such thing as an unsolvable problem!

So, what does my life has in store for me for the next twelve months? Well have plenty of business projects to keep me occupied and dreaming and acting big. Have a solid group of people around me, both in business as well as personal terms, that will allow me to reach all my goals.

Will I reach my goals in the next twelve months? Well I do know that if I continue to apply myself hard and do all that I am capable off I will achieve many of my goals and realise a few dreams.

I will wake up every day happy and grateful for where I am and who I am. You know, when I am happy and grateful I feel free to follow my dreams and be successful in life. When I am free and successful it means that I am following my Life’s Purpose and living life to the full.

When I am living to my purpose I am happy and grateful!!!! See it goes full circle and it is a self fulfilling prophecy! When you wake up happy and grateful because you are living you purpose, the universe, has a way of giving it back to you and to me it has and will continue to do so!

Reflections over, many more things probably left to say, but not necessarily today. Time to go and relax for a bit and then have a shower and get dressed and meet up with my friends and go and enjoy an amazing night in Manchester to celebrate my birthday!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

Eyes... Window to the soul?

2009-10-11T14:40:00.004+01:00

I have always been fascinated by eyes! It is one of the first things I check when I meet someone new. Not only because of how insanely beautiful eyes are but also because I truly believe you can learn a lot by looking at someone’s eyes and into their eyes...

"Eyes never lie"

No matter how much you try, your eyes will never lie and sometimes will betray what your mouth or your actions are saying. When you look into someone's eyes directly you can see so much more than it can be said or expressed in words...

I bet it happened to you...

You look at someone’s eyes, maybe your partner, and immediately you know what they are thinking or feeling at that time. Even recently, my ex girlfriend, told me that when she kissed me she could see in my eyes how much I loved her...

Your emotions “shine” through your eyes...

Whatever you are feeling, even if you hide it physically, there is no way that you can hide it in your eyes. You can see when someone is happy and their eyes are positively smiling or when someone is miserable and it seems like their eyes are dead...

Even Scientists agree...

In a recent 2007 study, a psychology student from the Örebro University in Sweden linked iris patterns to personality traits. He photographed 428 volunteers' eyes and did a standard personality test to the volunteers.

After studying the lines radiating from the pupil (crypts) and the circular lines curving around the outer edge of the iris (furrows) he found that a low frequency of crypts was associated with tender-mindedness . warmth, trust and positive emotions, whereas more distinct and extended furrows were associated with impulsiveness.

Flirting eyes...

Eyes are also a very powerful “tool” in body language to interact with others. Flirting is one of the most used ways to attract someone of the opposite sex and your eyes play a big part on this.Women, in general, know how powerful a flirtatious look with a sensual smile can be in getting men's interest. Men in general although not as versed in flirting, off course there are exceptions, do select their partners in part due to her eyes...

Eyes & offspring’s...

You see, even if you are not planning in having kids, or more kids, when “searching” for a partner, subconsciously the selection is still based in that primordial need of procreation. And bright, white areas in a woman's eyes plus long, thick eye lashes are excellent indicators of female good health, thus they are more likely to have healthy offspring.

Flirt away and show off those beautiful eyes and long eye lashes, but be warned that you can give a lot more away than you probably want to as your eyes are really the window to your soul!

If I am staring at your eyes...

So if I meet you for the first time and am staring at your eyes, yes I am admiring how beautiful they are but I am also admiring your soul...

Have a brilliant day,

Speak soon,

Paulo x

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T; Find out what it means to me”

2009-10-07T10:37:00.003+01:00

I’m sure you remember the song! Aretha Franklin had a huge success with it and it was a hit all over the world. What does respect mean to you? Aretha was asking for a little bit of respect from her man when he gets home. Now, far from me to comment on whether she had the right idea or not, so here it goes my two pence about respect!

According to the dictionary, respect is defined as:

"to show high or special regard or an act of giving particular attention."

Is that what it means to you? Well I agree with the definition from the dictionary but, in order for us to be able to respect others, we first must respect ourselves.

Day after day, we complain about others disrespecting us or not being proper either in their comments or in their actions, but we ultimately forget about ourselves. If we have self respect, then it is my view that others cannot disrespect us. If I respect myself first and foremost I will not put myself in a position that others can disrespect me.

Respect is earned...

I do agree with the common saying that people have to earn our respect from us, and yes respect is earned. And if you respect yourself and if the other person respects her or himself then the process of mutual respect is very straightforward.

The problem occurs when one or the two people don’t have any self respect, and when they don’t it is difficult for mutual respect to occur. Before you demand respect from others or expect others to earn your respect, you MUST develop your own Self-Respect!

“He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow”

How to develop self-respect?

Be true to yourself! Find out who you are deep down in the core. Recognise your flaws and weaknesses and work on them. Look at your strengths and develop them further. Enjoy life. Do fun activities and better yourself at all times, and above all do things that you feel like doing.

I know sometimes is difficult

But, you need to learn how to put yourself first. You can never develop self respect if you put the interests and wellbeing of others above you. I am guilty of that in the past and by doing that I ended up being miserable and always “bending over backwards” to keep the peace.

Do you know what that gave me?

It gave me a very low opinion of myself and, ironically, the people that I did everything for lost their respect for me! Only when I started to think about myself first and accounting for my needs first and then, and only then, dealing with the others needs I developed my self-respect further.

How did I did it?

I started doing stuff I wanted to do, experiencing new things, being happy. My confidence went sky high and I can honestly say I felt great once more. Now, I am not saying that you will stop doing things for others altogether, not at all. It might even be quite the opposite. What I am saying is that you only do things for others if you really want to do it!

Do stuff YOU want to do!

If you are asked to do something that you don’t feel like doing, don’t just do it “to keep the peace” as eventually the peace will be transformed into war. Just be confident, have self-respect and simply say you don’t feel like doing. You might say that is difficult to do that or you will end up not doing anything together with your partner or your kids or friends.

Re-Evaluate your relationships...

Now I doubt very much that you will not want to do things with your kids, as they are your kids, by all means don’t give in to all their demands or they too will lose their respect for you. If you cannot honestly have things in common to do with your partner, and everything you currently do with him/her is out of “having to do it” then I’m afraid you probably should re-evaluate your relationship altogether!

Same with friends! If you and your friends don’t have anything to do that you want to and enjoy doing, then find new friends!!Don’t waste your life doing what you don’t feel like doing. Develop your self-respect, love yourself, be happy and enjoy life!

Have a brilliant day,

Speak soon,

Paulo

Tattoo on Friday...

2009-10-05T11:55:00.002+01:00

I went to have my back tattoo finished on Friday. It is all done now in my back, well I think it is anyway :-). Anyway, when I was "under the needle" so to speak, and enduring a bit of pain in the muscle areas had a couple of thoughts that I would like to share today.

First an advice...

If you do have a tattoo done, being too lean is a hindrance... The areas that hurt the most were on my traps, which are pure muscle, whilst the areas that were fine and less painful, and strangely pleasurable, were actually over the bone, which is usually an area that most people don't enjoy...

The other is to do with pain & pleasure

As you know, I firmly believe that pain and pleasure is the principle that rules all of our lives, we either spend our time avoiding pain or seeking pleasure. And it can be argued that the successful people in life are the ones that are prepared to endure the perceived potential pain of doing something because the pleasure at the end is worthwhile!

And tattoos are the perfect example

When you decide to do a tattoo, you know that there will be pain in the process, but the pleasure of having your tattoo done, is, in your eyes, worth the pain. So you endure the pain and you go for it "all guns blazing" because you truly want your pleasure at the end.

Same applies with cosmetic surgery

I haven't had cosmetic surgery but I would venture my opinion that the people that do it, do it due to the pain that they endure from whatever area they are not happy with in their bodies at that moment and because of the enormous perceived pleasure they will have about themselves once the treatment is done.

We can delve deeper into the psychologic ramifications of the process, but at a basic simple level is all about pain and pleasure. In this case there is two different kinds of pain; the one you endure at the moment from not being happy with yourself and the one from the surgery itself!

And because you want the pleasure at the end hard enough and you want to get rid of the current pain you are experiencing you will endure the surgery, the pain from it and also the pain from the recovery process to experience the pleasure of feeling better about your body!

Losing weight is in the same boat

When you embark on a "weight loss" quest, you know from the start that there will be some pain and some challenges ahead, but you persevere throughout because you really want the pleasure of having a fantastic toned body at the end. It is all about pain and pleasure and how much you really want the pleasure!

Whatever goal you have

Always remember, there will be pain along the way, there will be challenges, obstacles, problems and difficult situations, but if your goal is big enough, powerful enough and important enough to you, then you will be able to endure all that life "throws" at you and achieve your goal and enjoy the pleasure at the end!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

Enjoy today!

2009-10-03T11:36:00.000+01:00

How many times do you catch yourself thinking about what happened yesterday or last week or even last year? How many hours of your life have you spent thinking about the past? Worse even, how much time have you wasted dwelling on possible outcomes of what might happen tomorrow or next week or next year?

Can you see the underlying theme?

Time you spend dreaming about the future or thinking about the past is time you will never have back today! There is nothing wrong thinking about good times in the past or visualising your future, but if you spend most of your time concentrating on what happened or what is yet to come then you are really wasting precious minutes and hours.

Your time is precious

You will never have that time again and you should use it in the present! Today is a beautiful day and tomorrow is always tomorrow, you can never have tomorrow today so why waste most of today thinking about it? Also what happened in the past can never be re-done or re-lived.

It is so easy to let go and avoid the current day.

If you are going through a bad patch it is much easier to “cry” about the past or dread the future, but you end up losing the opportunity to do something about it all today. By all means learn from what happened in the past, but there is no need to dissect it to the extreme and waste precious moments.

Same applies with dreaming about the future...

When you will meet the perfect stranger or win the lottery or get a new job or just when things are better. Again visualising your future for a few moments a day is a positive action but if you spend all day thinking about the possible outcomes of the future instead of living in the present you are wasting today. And if you actually act on it today, then that future might soon be your present!

Enjoy today!

Enjoy today, do something today to get you closer to your goals. Be happy and grateful for what you have and act on your life. Whatever you do today if it is according to your purpose and towards your goal, no matter how small action you take it will be a positive one. Similarly the time you spend thinking about the past or the future is a time wasted that you will never have again.

There is always tomorrow, but you will never have another today!!!

Go on, go and take positive actions towards your goals and enjoy today!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

One and Only You!

2009-10-01T22:11:00.006+01:00

Friday's post, nice simple and straight to the point...

There is only one of you!

Stop trying to conform to the "Status Quo" and be an individual!

Enjoy!

"One And Only You

Every single blade of grass,

And every flake of snow

— Is just a wee bit different...

There’s no two alike, you know.

From something small,

like grains of sand,

To each gigantic star

All were made with THIS in mind:

To be just what they are!

How foolish then, to imitate—

How useless to pretend!

Since each of us comes from a MIND

Whose ideas never end.

There’ll only be just ONE of ME

To show what I can do

— And you should likewise feel very proud,

There’s only ONE of YOU.

That is where it all starts

With you, a wonderful

unlimited human being.

James T. Moore"

Have a brilliant day!

Enjoy your weekend.

Speak soon,

Paulo

Love is a Risk...

2009-09-29T11:09:00.002+01:00

I have spent the last few days ill and without energy to do much. Feel much better today, was only a small case of flu... yes man flu J. Anyway, was watching a bit of television, whilst having my breakfast the other day and Frasier was on. In this episode he said something that stuck to my mind and I thought I would write about it today.

“Love is a risk, but a risk worth taking!”

When he said it I just thought, wow, how right are you?! He hit the nail on the head. Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. When you are in love, the world feels a much better place and everything is just right! Most people love the feeling of love. But at the same time most people are afraid of rejection and being hurt!

Do you see the conflict in that?

One of the highest values that most of us hold is Love. It is one of my highest values as well. But afraid of rejection and being hurt is also one of the highest values, in this case negative values that most of us hold. These are two conflicting values that work against you!

You see, even though you value love, because you are afraid of getting hurt, you will end up not pursuing love altogether. It all spans from the Pain – Pleasure principle (or theory). We are either pursuing pleasure or avoiding pain, but because pain is usually perceived as something with much higher consequences on you, you tend to sooner avoid Pain than seek Pleasure.

So we start making excuses...

We make up a long list of excuses to justify why we are not going to seek the pleasure of being or finding love.” I am too busy”, or “need to concentrate on work” or even “don’t have time or place for love in my life.” Or the stronger, “it won’t work out anyway and he/she will hurt me in the end!”

But despite this avoidance of pain, you are still in pain in a way because you will never know how that relationship would have turn out and you might have missed out on... love! The question you going to have to ask yourself is, what is worst, to risk love and potentially be hurt in the end or not risk anything at all and be sure you will be always safe, but alone?

I take love anytime!

I do, and even recently I took that risk and it didn't work out in the end. But I would never regret the decisions I took and the fact that I fell in Love. I met someone truly wonderful that made me very happy. Yes it has ended, and no I am not going to tell you why it did, and yes it did hurt, but love is so wonderful that for me it is rather a case of “better to have loved and lost than not having loved at all!”

It is a risk worth taking!

It really is. You see the reason why it will always be a risk worth taking for me, is that I am always in love with the most important person in my world. Who is that person? Me! I love myself and love my life, and because I do, there is nothing that can happen in a relationship with someone else that will ever destroy my self-love.

Most people forget that.

Most people forget to put themselves first or love themselves first and then get into a relationship where they transfer their needs and requirements into someone else. If and when that relationship ends they feel miserable and distraught because they haven’t mastered their own self love and were too dependent on their partner for reassurance, respect and love.

Put your oxygen mask first

Have you ever wondered why in airplanes they advise you to put your oxygen masks first before you help your children or others? When there is a drop in oxygen in the cabin, you will immediately feel very drowsy and tired and if you waste your energy helping someone else you will put yourself in danger and then you will not be of help to anyone else.

The same applies with love and happiness

If you don’t love and respect yourself and are happy in your own skin, how can you love, respect and be happy with someone else? You can’t because you are always expecting the other person to demonstrate to you at all times all those things that you don’t see in your own self.

Love yourself, Respect yourself and be happy with yourself

When you finally reach that stage that you are fully happy and comfortable in yourself, then you will reach a state of enlightenment where your partner, children and friends, will add to it rather than be it. You can then fully commit yourself to other relationships without fearing pain, because ultimately you have yourself!

Start to love yourself fully today. Acknowledge your beauty, your wisdom, your “awesomeness”. You are truly wonderful, realise that now!!!

Hope you have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

Happy Birthday Mum!

2009-09-28T00:24:00.004+01:00

Today is my dearest Mum’s Birthday and I thought I would dedicate my blog today to write about her and what she means to me!

You probably heard it all before, but in my case it truly is true, my Mum is the best Mum in the World! Well, she is to me. She has been more than a Mother at many times, a friend, a shoulder to cry and a confident to hear my mishaps or disappointments.

Throughout my life, our life, we have been through a lot and always came out the other side laughing. This year has been a really testing year for both of us and we are still here. Loads of things that others did, or happened to them, impacted on our life this year and you are already smiling aren’t you?

I was thinking before that when this year is over we are going to look back and really realise how much we did and how much we have grown this year! Well that is the subject to another post hey? Probably for my birthday next month.

In my teenage years you always believed in me and were there for me at all times. When I needed a hug, a kiss, or a kick on the backside, you were the one I turned too first. Even my friends loved you like a Mum and still do today.

When I had the surgery that saved my life, you were the one that stayed up all night next to my bed until I woke up... And then you were the one I bugged all night asking if it was day time already J. I still remember the days we spent talking about me going abroad to study or me asking your advice on my life.

In a way you were my first Coach, you always believed in me, believed in my capabilities and always told me to follow my dreams. When the opportunity came for me to come to England, you were the one that told me to believe in me, because you already did.

So I followed my dream, and throughout these years you never once stopped believing in me! I adore you more than I can express in words and I wish that you finally start living the life you want and deserve.

You were the one I confided on when I had problems in my marriage or relationships. You were the first to know about all the important things in my life and still are. I admire mothers out there in the world that look out for their kids and I have to say that most mothers are special and wonderful, and I have met a few that are truly fantastic, but need to take exception and single out my wonderful Mummy!!!!

I love our relationship. Love the fact that the values you gave me, in the great part, were fantastic and helped me succeed in life. The fact I can cook, clean, iron and all the other things that can do today is all down to you, and for that I thank you.

I thank you for all the sacrifices you have done for me throughout your life. I thank you for the continuous belief and support I have had from you all my life. I thank you for telling me to follow my dream and start my coaching business, knowing that it would be difficult at times.

I thank you for a lot more, that I can't or wont discuss here and now, but most of all I thank you for bring me into this world and for being my Mother and my friend!!

Anyway, for once I am running out of words to write J I love you to bits, I always will, enjoy your birthday today with your dearest and fantastic Husband and Friend Augusto and I will see you for Christmas. In the mean time here it is a ton of hugs, kisses and “xoxos”

Love you Mum, Happy Birthday.

Your Son,

Paulo xxx

Why would you need a Coach?

2009-09-23T16:13:00.003+01:00

When I meet someone new, at a network function, toastmasters or any social occasion and we started chatting, inevitably the question always pops up, so what do you do? When I tell them that I am a Coach, some look back at me with a blank expression, as if to say what do you mean by that?

I usually follow it up by saying that I work with people like you in helping them find direction in life, focus on achieving specific goals and push them out of their comfort zone so they truly become whom they have always dreamed to be.

I love coaching...

For me being a Coach is more than a profession really, I love Coaching others and help them flourish from a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. I enjoy listening to their successes and know that I had a positive influence in them and as well am there to help them re-focus and reinforce their self believe and confidence if things don’t go their way straight away.

Before I embark on a Coaching relationship with a new client I schedule a consultation for us to talk. This consultation serves two purposes really. To see where exactly my client is at this moment in time and what his or hers biggest concerns, challenges and obstacles are, but it is also an opportunity to see if the two of us can work together successfully. If I am honest, the second purpose is the most important as if we are not compatible there is no point in us working together at all!

I believe in you...

You see, for me to work with you and help you re-ignite your life, I need to believe in you, I need to know that you are willing to put the effort in and have the commitment to go out there and “fight” for your goal.

Me and My Coach...

I too have a Coach, and she plays a big part on my success. She believes in me when no one else did, and she continuously pushes me to be who I want to be and break through my own self imposed boundaries. We all have these boundaries in place and as coaching progresses yours will become more and more minuscule and less important.

Caroline, my Coach, has been coaching me for 11 months now and she has saw me grow as a person and helped me steer myself to the success that I am experiencing today and will continue to experience in my life.

Why Am I Telling You All This?

Well I have some questions to ask you. If you could have your perfect life and everything be as you dreamed off, what would your perfect life be like? What do you really want to have in your life? What would make your life completely happy and truly rewarding?

Whatever your answers are one thing I can tell you with absolute certainty, everything that you dream off is possible. Everything that you want you can have in your life.

You can have it all...

You can have more love in your life and improve all your relationships. You can remove most of the stresses you experience now and get rid of addictions. You can start your own business, if that is what you want, and increase its revenue or you can finally have the job that you always wanted and create the lifestyle and financial freedom you desire.

You can get into the shape of your life and have a body that will stop traffic. In short you can have it all and a Coach can be the person that will help you get there! Off course like in all aspects of life and in all professions, you need to find the right Coach for you, and I’m afraid it isn’t one size fits all.

Which Coach?

Some coaches are specialists in one area and others on others. That is why it is imperative that when you do start looking for a Coach, you find the one that best meets your needs. You are unique, so your situation, requirements and needs will be unique as well. I have experienced great success with my clients in two specific areas, physical excellence and wellbeing and in mindset and confidence coaching.

My clients profiles...

My clients focusing on the physical excellence, are really focused in achieving the body of their dreams and have several now really getting their life under control to ensure the necessary focus, willpower and determination to ensure that their nutrition, training and mindset are tuned in for success. They are usually business men on their mid 30s, with a very busy lifestyle with an interest in training and now ready to finally have the body of their dreams.

My Re-Ignite Your Life clients are traditionally women, that have reached a crossroads in their lives and are in a quest to discover their true purpose in life and getting ready to pursue it finally. They usually busy Mums that have dedicated their lives to the wellbeing of their offspring and others and have managed to neglect themselves.

Even though the above are my “typical” clients, I do have clients on either area that don’t fit the typical profile, like I said we are all unique so it would be very difficult for all my clients to fit into a very specific profile.

So, are you really ready for Coaching?

If you are still reading this post then I assume that you are either interested or at least you are trying to find out a bit more about it all to satisfy your curiosity. Either way it is fine, really. What I am here to tell you is that you can completely and in some cases dramatically change your life.

I have done that myself, went from a high paid, high profile, highly stressful job to having the best job in the world, by changing some of my beliefs and values and manifesting into my life certain people and opportunities to make my life a truly happy and wonderful one... And there is still a lot more to come!!!

Don’t believe in all the negative people out there...

You can have it all. Don’t believe in the scare mongers out there and the people that constantly try to put you down or tell you to just accept what you have got! You deserve more, you deserve all that you ever wished, dreamed and desired!!

Take Action!

A very important part of Coaching and of achieving your goals is to take action. So go on, there is no time like the present. Send me a message with your details and what your goals and dreams are and I will honestly tell you if I am the right coach to help you. If I feel that I am not, fear not, I have an excellent group of Coach Friends, that cover different niches from mine and I will refer you to them.

You can have all you want and the easiest and more supportive way of doing it is with a coach! A coach will help you achieve all you want and at a greater speed and heightened focus than if you went on your own. A coach will keep you focus, motivated and on track for you to achieve your goals and finally have the life that you dreamed off and deserve!

I have a Coach and will have one forever!

I tell you one thing; I have a coach, and will continue to do so. Working with Caroline not only helped me focus on my business success, it also has helped me on my personal life a great deal. After 11 months of working together I have achieved a great deal, and after every single session I feel refreshed, re-invigorated and believing in me that little bit extra.

I believe in coaching wholeheartedly and also believe that we all, you included, need a coach in our life to finally succeed in the areas where you have failed previously. You can finally start living a great life, your great life, full of happiness, fun, freedom, health and wealth.

Are you going to Re-Ignite Your Life?

Getting a coach did change my life and I am confident that I can help you change your life as well! I can help you Re-Ignite Your Life! Don’t waste another minute and get in touch.

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

Let go...

2009-09-20T12:24:00.003+01:00

Today a quick post about letting go.

Sometimes you have to let go. It is hard, but gets better with time. And "letting go" ends up being beneficial to you in the short and long run.

Anyway, here is a poem by author unknown:

Let Go - Unknown

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is not to lose power, but to be open to the power within.

To "let go" is to fear less, and love more."

Do it today, let go...

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

Cravings...

2009-09-16T10:59:00.004+01:00

One of the biggest challenges that my Physical Excellence Coaching clients have is controlling their cravings. Some of them crave chocolates or donuts, others crave crisps or pizzas, but they all have a hard time controlling these cravings. They start by trying to ignore it, to put it out of their minds and forget about it.

The problem about that, is that the more you try to ignore something, the more you think off it! This is to do with how your subconscious processes thoughts. Your subconscious mind is one of the most powerful "tools" for your success in achieving your goals and you need to learn how to use it.

But it is a flawed tool though.

And the good news is that you can use this flaw to your advantage. You see the subconscious mind, can not differentiate between reality and imagination, and the negative words are not processed at all. You can use the inability to differentiate between reality and imagination to your advantage by constantly visualising yourself the way you want to be and because of that your subconscious will "see it" as reality.

Therefore the more you see yourself with a 6-pack the more your mind believes it as true and will continuously "instruct" your body to achieve that 6-pack thus acting as if you have the 6-pack already! Hence the reason I advise you to not only be positive in your goals but also to do every thing at your disposal to continuously remember it, using vision boards, reading it out loud, doing mind movies, whatever is at your disposal.

How about the other flaw?

Well as your subconscious doesn't really process the negatives, when you say to yourself, "I can't have that chocolate bar" or "I don't want that packet of crisps" what your subconscious is actually hearing is "I can have that chocolate bar" and "I want that packet of crisps" and the more and more it hears this, the more it will want it and crave it and eventually your conscious mind will succumb to it!

So what should you do?

The advice I give my clients and indeed I follow myself is to use the following simple 3 step process:

1 - Acknowledge your craving

You want a chocolate bar. Acknowledge that is what you want and feel like eating. Don't even attempt to forget about it!

2 - Analyse the craving against your goal

If your chocolate bar has 200 calories, and if you eat it, how much more miles do you have to run or how many more hours do you need to lift weights to burn that extra bar of chocolate? Compare the bar of chocolate against your 6-pack. See your perfect body in your mind and how further away from it are you if you eat the chocolate bar.

3 - Decide if fulfilling the craving is worth it

Make your decision, you know by now what the consequences of eating that chocolate are. Are they really worth it? Is the 30 seconds of eating the bar worth the extra 1 or 2 hours you have to spend in the gym that day, just to burn the extra calories that you fed your body with?

By following this process

You will deal with your craving and not even be tempted to fulfill it due to the extra perceived pain you will suffer to achieve your goal. The first time you do this process it might take a minute or more to deal with it, but with time this process will be so quick that you will deal with your cravings almost instantly.

You can use this process with all your craving, physical and emotional ones. Simply acknowledge it, compare it to your goal and make the decision. Simple!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

I can't change you!

2009-09-16T10:30:00.005+01:00

Have you ever had one of those argh moments where you wished you could change someone else? It probably was your partner or your kids or a close friend. I bet you did, I have had many of those moments myself. Where someone's actions, or lack off, or words, really infuriated me and I wished they would change so that they could do what they wanted or dreamed off.

And then you tell them they need to change...

At that time, you probably have actually told them that they had to change because the way they were or are, is not the right atittude to have or be. I also bet that your words or actions had little or no effect on them or what they did about their life.

Am I right? Well the reason behind all that is that I can't really change anyone else or indeed you. No one can change you. Only you can change! The best way I can describe this is being using the example of a celebrity addicted to some kind of destructive substance.

Is it time for you to go into "rehab"?

Have you ever noticed that when you hear that Celebrity X went into rehab, that the only time that said Celebrity does kick his or her habit is when they themselves want to do it? If it was their PR, manager, family or friends that "forced" them to go into rehab, they, soon or later, end up using again?

That is because they didn't wanted to change or saw any reason to change. If they are not prepared to go through the trials and tribulations of actually undergo change they will not do it. They will sabotage themselves along the way because in their own subconscious they don't want to change!

Pain and pleasure

As I mentioned before in these pages, most of our life is governed by the pain and pleasure principle, I would even venture to say that all that we do in life is about pain and pleasure. Actually is more about the perceived pain and the perceived pleasure!

What do I mean by perceived?

Well when you are about to undergo change, you are in a state of pain, and you know already that you need to change. Now to achieve change you know in your mind all the perceived pain that will come your way, but if you also already know the great pleasure that is expecting you at the end of the process.

You will change when the perceived pleasure at the end of the process is so much greater than the perceived pain you will endure during the process that is worth while! When you are "forced" into a change process, then you only perceive the pain and don't really see the pleasure that might come into your life, so you will not put yourself into a position of strength and positive mindeset to actually undergo the process.

You will have thoughts what is the point of it all? Why am I doing this? And so on and so forth. So if you see yourself in a position that you feel that you need to change someone else, do not attempt to force that change. Instead talk to him or her to understand if they really feel that they need to change.

Do they really need to change?

If they admit it to you and are really sure about it, they will soon embark on that change and then you can become part of their support team. If they don't then you need to understand what they are saying and leave them be to make their own decision. You then need to decide how will that affect your life, and if you are to continue to be part of their life.

Why do you want them to change?

The other aspect that you need to address, is why do you want them to change? Are you trying to change someone for your benefit or for their benefit? If it is to fit into your life, then you are not being a good friend, because you are trying to mould them to you, rather than look for their wellbeing.

If they changed since you know them and are now a different person and that is destructive for them, then your support and concern is justifiable, but if they changed and they are happy with who they are, then you are the one that either has to change or step away from them.

You have the power...

You have the power to change the most important person in your life, yourself!!! Use your power to make changes in your life or within you for your benefit and you will not only achieve your goals but also you will be completely and truly happy!

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

Who do you have around you?

2009-09-16T08:59:00.003+01:00

Who is your support group? Who are these people and how much support to do they provide you? These people can be crucial for your success or failure, not only in your goal but also in your life in general! Yesterday during a session with one of my clients we discussed how important the ones around you can be.

Why are they so important?

You see these people hold a certain degree of power with you. Their comments and their actions can, and will, affect your motivation and will to succeed. When you sit down with your closest friends and tell them what your plans are, how do they react?

Are they quick to criticise, diminish your capabilities or even say things like "that is a really great goal but you will never be able to" or "do you really think you can do that?".

Or are they completely and utter supportive of you and completely believe in you? Well if they don't sincerely give you their support then they are not the right people to have around you. If they don't do this then it is time for you to make a very important and sometimes difficult decision. Are you keeping them close by or are you letting them go?

They don't want you to succeed...

You see people can be envious and jealous of what you are looking to achieve. They might be scared that once you reach there, they will no longer fit into your life and lifestyle. They will also think that the focus of your relationship with them will stop being about them and instead your successes will be in their mind.

So, consciously or subconsciously, they will sabotage your efforts, with their words or actions, so you don't achieve your goals or you give up on your dreams. If you do that, they will the first ones there to comfort you and tell you that "the dream was too big" or "it wasn't meant to happen" or "don't worry about it, you still have me"!

You know who they are...

When I was discussing this with my client, it hit a nerve and immediately my client knew exactly who amongst its friends or colleagues fit that description. And I admit it, it is a daunting task, knowing that in order to succeed in your goal, there will be some negative consequences of you actually achieving your goal.

This kind of people, might even be supportive to your face, but behind your back will either tell others that you will never be able to do it or even do things to distract you from your goals. They can be emotionally draining for you or get you to ran around in circles to help them. Like when I spoke with my client, I bet that you know at this point who amongst your circle of friends or associates fits that description.

Their friends are a reflection of you...

There is a Portuguese saying that describes this perfectly "Tell me who your friends are and I tell you who you are!". I am sure that there is an equal saying in English and probably in every language. So look around to who is around you. If they don't believe in you, or they criticise what you do, to your face or behind your back, or they drain you both physically and emotionally with their requests or inaptitude to do something, then it is time to move away from them.

I have done that throughout my life, and will continue to do so, when someone does not wholeheartdly believes in me or my plans then it is a question of "thank you very much but I will have to let you go".

Let them go, before they bring you down!

Naturally through life you do that, from my childhood for example, there is only one person that still remains, to this day as close to my heart and as supportive since day one! All the others have "disappeared" from my life.

Now you might argue that is because life took you in separate directions, but if they really were that important for your future life and plans they would have stuck around you, and you around them.

So what should you do at this stage?

Well don't go rushing to judgements and decide on the spot who to get rid off. Simply approach your friends and associates individually and tell them all your plans and wait for their reaction and as well their actions within the next week or so. From their behaviour, comments and actions you will soon know their "true colours" and then you can make your decision.

Support, support, support...

Surround yourself with the right people for you and you will succeed! You want people that not only give you the support but also remind you, when you are feeling down, why you are doing all this and how much you want that goal. They will congratulate you on your successes and help to get you back on track on your failures, and give you that proverbial "kick in the back side" when they know you are failing yourself!!!

Get a fantastic support group around you, find people that have done it before and ask for their support, they don't necessarily have to do anything physical to help, just hearing or reading their words will suffice you! Go on, go after your dream!!!

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

8 years ago...

2009-09-11T10:31:00.002+01:00

As you well know, 8 years ago today, September 11th 2001, 4 hijacked planes were used by terrorists to attack the USA. Over 3,000 people were killed and the twin towers of the World Trade Center were destroyed.

The USA will hold a memorial today to remember the people lost and remind the World that violence, of any kind, is not the answer to solve any problems, issues or conflicts. Rather than going on about the why's and the because's of this situation as that as been done, and will continue to be so, by politicians and media in general, I will talk today about that day in my life.

This day has soon became a "where were you?" type of day, like the Moon landings, JFK assassination and Princess Di's death. So where was I? That morning I woke up, and put on my suit to go for an Interview later in the morning.

I left the interview on a high, because it had gone really well and the company said straight away they wanted me to go for a second interview on the following Monday in Paris. So I left the interview, phoned the agency that got me the interview to report back. Got in the car and put the radio on, whilst I was about to dial my Girlfriend's number to let her know how it went.

And there it came on, the breaking news saying that a plane had just crashed into the first tower of the World Trade Center and no one really knew what was happening. The reporter actually said they didn't knew if it was a human error, only a couple minutes later someone said it might be a terrorist attack.

I sat there in silence just listening to it all. After a few minutes called my Girlfriend, she was in a Beauty training course, and she didn't believed me at first and then said that someone burst into the room saying the same thing. She, the remaining trainees and the teacher put the television on. I drove home.

As soon as I got home, put the television on, and saw it live happening again. Surely it is a repeat of the plane crashing, but no, it was the second one. My heart fell through the whole of my body and remember feeling really sad, disappointed and even angry.

The day progressed with loads of phone calls with friends and family, the agency calling me back about my trip next Monday and if I still wanted to go and so on. Went and picked up my girlfriend and I really remember how sad we were and even though no one we actually knew had died or been affected by it, I somewhat felt it personally.

It was a really weird day because through out everyone was so gloomy and sad. I remember not knowing what to do or what to say as it was so weird and even uncomfortable to even talk about it. That day the news channels were on the whole time in our house and I remember holding my girlfriend tight and we both just cried with all the emotions felt.

Even though everyone was already discussing the terrorists and why they did it all, and what the USA and the World were going to do about it, I know that I wasn't really interested in all of that I was just sad.

I don't know what every other individual took from that day. I personally took that violence, and terrorism, doesn't really solve anything and in the greater scheme of things, any such actions were an attack on a Government, but ultimately who suffered were the Individuals that were there that day or were directly connected to those there.

In this day of remembrance, my thoughts do go for those that suffered deeply with all those events.

And that was my September 11th 2001 day. I ended up going for the 2nd interview the week after. Manchester Airport was weary and even scary, with a atmosphere of distrust. The plane was delayed almost 4 hours and you could see every single passenger examining every single other person there.

Well, even though today is one of "where were you?" days, I hope you have a beautiful and happy day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

10th September 1992

2009-09-10T09:09:00.005+01:00

Today is a very special day for me. A celebration day even. That is because 17 years ago, on the 10th of September 1992, me and 11 other Portuguese guys and girls, arrived at Manchester Airport to embark on a new experience and life. In fact it was a day that changed my life, even if I wasn't completely aware of how important that day was at the time.

The first group!

I came full of hopes and dreams, like many do when going to a foreign country. Funnily enough I wasn't scared, well I was a bit apprehensive, but I was more excited than anything else. You see, one of my biggest dreams when I was growing up was to go and study abroad and now I had the chance of doing it so.

As I grew older, I stopped dreaming about going abroad as circumstances changed in my life and my parents lives that I thought I would never be able to do it. But I never stopped focusing on it really. In a way I was using the law of attraction without even knowing that I was or what it was. Then it came the time to start applying for Universities back home.

I had excellent grades and did a good entry exam, the old PGA (Prova Geral de Accesso) which was a exam that all students had to do as part of their application process. Unfortunately for me despite all my results I failed to secure a place in my preferred Universities by 0.01%! I was devastated and really disappointed with myself and with the whole system as well.

So decided to re-do my 12th Grade (equivalent to A levels I suppose) and cracked on with trying to further improve my grades. Was a weird year if I'm honest, as I always felt like this was something I didn't want to do and that something was missing.

Then one day, whilst reading the Public (Portuguese Newspaper), my Mum came across an advert from Bolton Institute, saying that they were looking to interview EU Students with the purpose of offering them places to come to study at the Institute. At the time they were already striving to gain University status and to do that they had to have a certain quota of EU students.

I went to the British Embassy in Lisbon for the interview and ended up being offered a place. Then a couple months later I was in England. It is funny how the "failure" of securing a place in the University in Portugal ended up being a blessing in disguise! That actually proved to me that dreams do come true!!!

(Me and my 1st 3 Housemates - Marco, Luis & João)

And so it is 17 years later, after a lot of things happened in my life, both good and bad, although all beneficial to my development as a person, I am still in England, happy for being here and looking forward to the next 17 years of my life. Will I be living in England in 17 years time? Well I know where I am planning to be in the next 17 years and know that with hard work I will get there but for the time being those plans are, let's say, confidential...

One final thing...

When I was saying goodbye to my parents in Lisbon Airport, after hugging everyone, my Mum came to me, gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear "You are not coming back to Portugal, are you?", to which I said straight away I would come on holidays, "That is not what I mean and you know it" said her...

Well, I am off celebrating my special day...

Have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

How to find happiness

2009-09-02T18:53:00.004+01:00

Do you know what my biggest quest in life is? To be happy! In fact I believe that every single person out there wants the exact same thing, to be happy. But what I want is different from what you want, so how can we all pursue the same thing in life, but we all want different things?

Well, we are all individuals...

Even though we are all humans and of the same race, we are also all different. We all have different ideals and different objectives in life. We all think, at least, slightly different from each other. No two persons in the World are exactly the same, even identical twins are not completely identical, so why would we all want the same happiness as each other?

Also every day it changes...

Also what makes you happy today, might, and probably will, be different from what makes you happy tomorrow. Its a bit like you and 99 other people going for dinner at a restaurant. Imagine for a moment that this restaurant, is a different type of restaurant than any other you have ever been to. In this restaurant there is no menu, you simply order what you really, really feel like eating.

You order what makes you happy...

You sit down and the waiter comes to you and asks what you want. As there is no menu, what are the odds that two individuals will order the exact same meal? I would venture that it would be impossible! Probably you and your partner, or you and your children, will have something very similar, but there will be differences between the two dishes, even if is just seasoning! Go on just ask the person next to you now, or when you see someone later, what meal would they order now that would make them happy. I bet that it will not be exactly the same as yours.

Tomorrow you go to the same restaurant...

And you are going to order food again, but you want to eat something different. You don't feel like having the exacr same meal again, two days in a row. The first meal made you happy one day, but in the next you want something else. We all define happiness differently from everyone else and every day that definition will be slightly different as well, as you evolved and are no longer the same person as you were yesterday. So how can you find your happiness?

Well, listen to your feelings...

The only way you have to "judge" your happiness is to "be in touch" with your emotions. Listen to your feelings, to what your heart is telling you. Whether it is in your relationship, your friendships, your job, or any single decision you make in your life if you listen to what is inside you then you are always being happy.

Listen to your inner voice

When in doubt listen to your own inner voice that guides you to always be true to yourself. Don't do things to please others if it doesn't please you. If you do you will end up resenting that person and more importantly resent yourself. No matter how hard or difficult that may be always be true to your emotions, beliefs and values.

Watch out for your limiting beliefs!

A lot of people have a hard time accepting that they can be happy and that they indeed deserve to be happy! They have self sabotaged themselves all their lives by telling themselves that they don't deserve to be happy, so they never attain the level of happiness that they wish for. When the cycle is completed, their self-prophecy of not deserving to be happy is proven right and they fall even deeper into that trap.

Accept that you deserve to be happy!

You need to start accepting that you deserve all the happiness in the World! Accept that whatever happiness comes your way as result of your hard work, talent, sweat and (sometimes) tears is rightly yours. Learn to love and respect yourself. The more you do that the more deserving you feel of receiving and the happier you will be.

Sometimes its not possible to always do what makes me happy

I know that is true. Sometimes you have to do things that don't necessary make you happy whilst doing it. We all have had summer jobs or jobs whilst at University or College that didn't provide a great deal of happiness whilst doing it. I know I had some jobs that bored me to sleep, but the rewards I was able to reap from that hard work made it all worthwhile and contributed to my happiness . Just remember the fairytale, once in a while you may have to kiss a frog in order to get your prince or princess!

If you are happy, everything is always great

If you feel happy, the World is a better place, you will notice every little detail that makes you smile. By making being happy your main objective in life you enable yourself to be happy! Sometimes we tend to put others happiness ahead of ours. You probably did it with your partner or your kids, but if you are not happy in the first place why do you think they will be if you have put their happiness ahead of yours?

Put your mask on before you help others

Remember the safety instructions in planes, where they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help others? Well do the same with your happiness. Be happy first, because if you are then you will be able to "help" others do the same. Make sure you do things that make you happy or are a stepping stone in the direction of your happiness.

Ask yourself...

Is all that I do today making me happy or a step in the direction of happiness? If the answer yes then congratulations, if the answer is no, then you need to seriously make some changes for your own sake and, you guessed it, happiness!!!

Hope you have a happy wonderful day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

Something that annoys me...

2009-08-29T10:15:00.003+01:00

Today I am going to talk about something that annoys me... It is not anger, as those who know me well know that I don't get angry that easily, in fact very seldom, I would say this annoys me and gets slightly on my nerves...

So was this that annoys me?

Well its when I hear people around me, or even on the public eye, saying stuff like "I can't do it", "It is too difficult to do so what's the point", "that is impossible", etc. You get the overall message? Its basically people justifying why they didn't do something. The thing is all these statements have one very simple thing in common.

They are all excuses!

You look at a problem or a challenge and it looks so big and so difficult, that you straight away give yourself excuses in case you fail to do that! The thing is by saying all that even before you looked at the problem you are sabotaging yourself from the beginning and 99 times out of 100 you will definitely fail to solve that problem or reach that goal.

There is only two reasons why people fail!

They haven't started or they haven't finished! That simple! You might disagree and say that sometimes circunstances stopped you from doing it. Well no, no matter the circunstances you were the one that stopped yourself from doing it. You can come back to me and say that planning is a big part of not completing something or failing. That is true, but if you didn't plan it from the beginning why didn't you? Probably because you justified it from the beginning as too difficult!

Let's face it...

I have failed many times in the past, I am not a saint that always succeeded in every thing that he attempted. The real truth is that the times I have failed I have not started properly or never seen it through to the end. I created excuses on my mind, or said it out loud or even sometimes listened to the wrong people that doubted me from the beginning!

What to do then?

Well make sure you start and you finish! Simple :-) I know is not that simple, but if you have a huge challenge in your hands, don't look at it as unattainable! Look at the whole problem, the timescale you have to achieve it, and break that down into smaller chunks, then each one of those you can break it down further.

Set milestones along the way

This is something I have done for the last 8 years or so. One of the reasons I adopted this stance, was from my work as a Project Manager at a Automotive Parts Manufacturer and Supplier. I had a project on my hands that had 18 months to run, in these 18 months we had to design the product, make prototypes, re-run prototypes in production machinery, approve product with customer, make pre-production runs, officially passover project to production, start production!

A lot to do in 18 months!

But each of those stages were a milestone. For each of those milestones we had smaller ones to achieve. These smaller ones became simpler and simpler and easier to achieve. Then each time that a smaller milestone is achieved we were one step closer to the ultimate goal, starting production.

Coaching is very similar

In Coaching we use that same structure, we look at your overall goal, set a timescale for it, and then proceed to break it down to into smaller milestones. And you are not alone! Like me as a Project Manager had my Project Team, in Coaching you have yourself as the Project Manager, Me as your coach and motivator and someone that is there to help, guide and advise you, and then you need and should create your own project team, friends, co-workers, family, other professionals.

So, next time...

Stop sabotaging yourself before you start, look at the overall problem, goal or challenge, see what you need to complete it, break it down to smaller milestones, "recruit" your own project team and crack on with it, making sure to start it and to finish it.

If you follow that simple process...

You will achieve your goal, I guarantee it!!!! Hope this post has been helpful in any way, feel free to leave your comments or questions below and I will be glad to help.

Have a fantastic day,

Speak soon,

Paulo

The Power of Communication

2009-08-27T15:14:00.003+01:00

Communication... Communication is probably one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal, so why is it that sometimes we don't use it properly? Why is it that we usually have the most difficult of times to communicate to one another and express not only our ideas and plans but also our emotions and feelings...

Say what you feel

Expressing your deepest feelings is very simple and easy for some people whilst for others is the most excrutiating and difficult thing to ever do. Where does this pain come from? Well our values have a lot to do with it. In this case these are mainly negative values that hold you back from expressing these feelings.

Where did these values came from?

These were values that you adopted from childhood because you saw them in action or because it happen to you in your own life and now you assume it to be true. What I mean, is if you in the past expressed your feelings to friends, family, partner or at work and that "backfired" on you, then you will immediately assume that every time you do express your feelings and communicate freely then you will suffer because of it.

Is communication bad then?

So you learn that some communication is not healthy after all and you continue to protect yourself from expressing these to other people. What happens then? Well you don't say nothing and because you say nothing, the person or people that you don't communicate with, do something else that is inherent to the human being.

They make assumptions

People assume your thoughts because you haven't expressed them in the first place. By making assumptions, they don't make these assumptions based on facts but based on their own values, beliefs and rules. They analyse your silence and then they processed internally with their own guidelines. More often than not their assumptions are completely wrong as they don't take into account you!

What is the solution to this?

Well no matter how hard for you and for others, always always really say how you feel and express it to the best of your own abilities. I am not saying for you to go and tell a complete stranger how you feel today, but to the people that is close to you, like your partner, parents, children and friends.

They will appreciate it!

These people will not only appreciate your honesty, and also from the start of your relationship they will learn your own values, beliefs and rules from the very beginning thus making your relationship stronger.

So, what stuff have you got stuck in your chest that you haven't said yet and you should? Are you going to continue in your silence or are you going to finally let it all out? I let you make that decision...

Hope you have a fantastic day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

A special second

2009-08-12T11:28:00.003+01:00

I was listening to the radio the other day whilst driving in Portugal, and the radio dj mentioned that the next day it was going to be very special, with an occurrence happening that would not repeat itself for more than a century. This occurrence was a special second...

12 hours, 34 minutes, 56 seconds of the 7th of August 2009

That was the second, the only time for more than 100 years that all the numbers were in sequence 123456789!!! That got me thinking, sure that second was unique and special because of that but surely all our seconds are unique and special!!!

Are your seconds special?

My question to you today is, are all your seconds special? Are you making the most out of your seconds to ensure that they mean something to your life? Or are you simply wasting those seconds away wishing for them to be special?

Well, I have news for you...

It all depends on only one person... YOU. You are the only person that can ensure that your seconds, minutes, hours and days are special by taking action on whatever your goals are. Don't just sit back and complain about how difficult or hard your life may be, do something about instead!

If you do then they will be special!

If you take action and every thing you do to occupy your seconds gets you that extra step closer to your goal then every single second will be special. If you mop around than guess what, all will remain as bad as it might be today.

I have a final question for you...

What are you going to do today to make your seconds special and make them count? I am going to go to the gym later this afternoon and then continue working on my new project. How about you?

Looking forward to read what your plans are.

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

What I Learned From My Grandfather

2009-07-27T14:54:00.009+01:00

I have been thinking about writing this post for a while now. He was one of my heroes, I loved him to bits and he was one of my best friends in the World. He passed away almost 15 years ago already but I still think of him a lot.

Throughout his life, like all of us, he made mistakes and even said or acted badly or out of turn, but he was always capable of recognising his mistakes and amending them when he could. I admired a lot of things about him, and learned a lot from him. Today I thought I would pay praise to him and share with you some of these learnings.

Do you want respect, then earn that respect...

He always told me that if you want people to respect you for who you are then you first have to earn that respect. How do you do that? By beeing yourself at all times and by making sure you respect who you are. If you don't respect yourself how can you expect others to respect you?

He was of the opinion that no matter what your status in society was, if you wanted his respect you would have to earn it and prove to him that you would be worthy of it. He once told me that just because he was my Grandfather that wasn't an excuse for him not to earn my respect from him. Funny to hear this from someone that I idolised but in more then one occasion he proved that concept to me. He also told me...

Respecting someone doesn't mean you agree with them...

Looking back this teaching was a sour one for both me and my Grandfather. He had told me in the past that disagreeing with another person was natural and if you always kept each others respect then the disagreement would eventually turn out to be positive for the relationship.

A few years before his death me and my Grandfather had a big disagreement that even threathened our relationship. The reason why it didn't was because we respected each other above all others and were able to see the points we were both making and eventually "made up". Our relationship became stronger than ever before from that point onwards.

Always dress to impress... yourself!

From my first memory of him up to the last one, he always looked extremely smart and well dressed. His hair was always impecably taken care off and his nails expertly cleaned and tidy. He never dressed to impressed the World outside, he had no need to do that because he only wanted to impress himself.

Even around the house well after his retirement, his clothes were nicely colour coordinated, pressed and neatly presented. To his last day he combed his hair with "brilhantina" and had his silk scarf on his neck. No point in trying to impress others if you are not impressed with yourself.

Some might call it vanity, I call it pride...

This is a story my Mum told many times and I often tell it too. My Grandfather used to work as a tailor, so he always looked impeccably dressed at all times. On his way to and from work he had to cross a field that often was dirty or even muddy.

So every day without fail, either on way to work or home, my Grandfather proceeded to walk through the field, and on reaching the other side, he would remove his handkerchief and would thoroughly clean his shoes from any dirt and mud ensuring they looked clean and polished and off he went on his way.

Some people might say that it was very vain of him to do that, but for me was pride, pride on his appearance and, most importantly, pride on himself. He was also a role model on how men dressed, on account of his job, so if his attire was not perfect why would anyone buy from him?

Hard work pays up in the end...

I have never believed in easy work for easy pay. A lot of people out there wants you to believe that it is easy to achieve your goals, but it always involves hard work from your part. I also believe that, at least in part, that belief of mine comes from him.

You can achieve anything you set your heart upon but you always have to be prepared to put the effort in. Once you do that it will pay handsomely in the end! You are responsible for your dream! Dream big, act big and reality will be big...

I could go on...

And tell you more of his learnings... Someday I might add a few more, or maybe not. Today I just felt it was time to pay homage to a great man, that I miss dearly and I loved throughout my life and still do, in the hope that some of his "teachings" could of assistance to you as well.

As always comments are appreciated.

Speak soon,

Paulo

Law of Attraction - Part 3

2009-07-14T21:22:00.004+01:00

Now that we discussed what the Law of Attraction really is and we found out the one missing ingredient was, how do we actually go about applying it?

Well, it is rather simple but it does require a great deal of belief in you as well as in your overall beliefs. For the purpose of explaining it better, we shall use as an example something that many people will like to achieve one day or class as one of their goals.

Millionaire status...

Let's assume for a bit that you want to be a millionaire. Cool, you want to be a millionaire, so you have already completed step 1 of the Law of Attraction, know what you want. The next step is to ask for it, visualise you already have it and that is it, just sit back, relax and will finally will come to you, right?

Well...

Wrong!!! In fact, if you paid attention to what I wrote in my last two posts, the sure fire thing to happen if you do exactly as above is that after a while you will think that this Law of Attraction is total BS and doesn't work and you will give up. Well I have news for you, off course it will not work and off course you will think is total BS, mainly because you have asked for something and you have done nothing to achieve it!

This is what you should do instead...

You want to be a Millionaire! Ok, now lets be more specific and how much of a millionaire you want to be. Like when setting a goal we need to specify exactly what it is you want. So to make things simple, let's assume you want to have £1M in your bank account. Know you know what you want and that is £1M in your bank account.

Second step...

Now that you know what you want, you ask for it. Ask the universe that you want £1M in your bank account. Simple, hey? Well, you actually have to believe that you can get £1M in your bank account, so you need to focus on your values about money and strengthen them as well as removing all negative ones from your psyche.

You want One Million Pounds...

But it is your belief that only "dodgy" people get rich or win the lottery or indeed good honest people can not become millionaires through hard work. If this is you then you are already sabotaging yourself before you even started. If you believe in all that, then you will never get it, because, you get what you ask for and what you believe. You need to work on your values and beliefs before you ask the universe for something that you don't believe in. This is something you can do on your own, although it might take a long time, or you can get a coach or mentor, like myself, to help you on it.

You now believe that you can get it...

It is now time to visualise yourself with £1M in your bank account. Visualisation is a very strong tool in this process. You need to see your life like you already have that money. Imagine what would you do in your normal day with your goal already achieved. See, hear, smell, feel your new life. All the places you have visited and all the items you have bought. Visualise it all until you are certain that it is really true and here!

And now... Do something about it...

Take action on it. Don't sit back and wait. With all the beliefs and visualisation work you have done, your subconscious knows that you already capable of having it. So you are now more open to new opportunities that come your way and you will be more alert to act on it. The more actions you take towards it the sooner it will come to you.

Be grateful...

Be grateful for all that you, in your head, already received. Be charitable to others as you are in a position to do it and also teach others how to get where you got. Now you must, detach yourself from the outcome.

This is seems to be the hardest part of it all...

By detaching yourself from the outcome, you are not placing a life or death status to you achieving the outcome itself. By detaching yourself, you are in fact saying that this is something you want and are willing to go for it and for it to take as long as required to achieve it. It will not rule your life and that your happiness and satisfaction in life is not solely dependent upon achieving. You are telling the "universe" that you will have a good life whatever the outcome. Achieving it will add to your life, rather than make your life!

And there it is, the Law of Attraction explained...

For the sake of this example I used money, but you can apply the LOA to any part of your life. New job, new girlfriend, new house, whatever it is if you can ask for it you will receive it... provided you act on it!

What you waiting for?

Go on! Go and apply the LOA in your life. Don't just read about it and forget it. Apply it and see it working for you. If you doubt it from the very beginning then unless you do some work on your values and beliefs, then you will fail. So believe in it and go for it.

It has worked for me, and still does...

Many times throughout my life, most of the times without knowing, I have applied the Law of Attraction to many areas of my life and have been very successful and happy with the results and will continue to apply it.

Hope you found this useful and interesting. As usual comments are welcomed and appreciated and please do let me know of your successes using the LOA in your life!

Have a brilliant day.

Speak soon,

Paulo

Law of Attraction - Part 2

2009-07-13T12:33:00.004+01:00

On my previous post we discussed the Law of Attraction and what it meant and how was interpreted. If you missed it head over here to read it – http://reigniteyourlife.blogspot.com/2009/07/law-of-attraction-part-1.html.

Today we are going to talk about the missing ingredient of the Law of Attraction that makes all the difference in how to apply it and to make it work for you. The movie “The Secret” did a really good job in opening up the law of attraction to the World out there, but, unfortunately neglected to mention one very important and crucial part of it.

Many people are now applying the Law of Attraction in their daily lives, unfortunately most seem to fail to get the results desired. How do I know this? Well the main question that I seem to be getting from friends and clients, and indeed one of the main questions floating around the internet is “How long to I have to wait for the results to manifest?”.

That question poses two problems.

The first one is the fact that if you are indeed asking that, then your belief regarding the actual success of your “request” is weak to say the least, and that you believe that actually getting your desires is not dependent on you but on some external sources. And secondly, perhaps most importantly, you failed to really understand the Law of Attraction.

See when you ask when the results appear

It means that you haven’t done anything about getting those results. The missing ingredient that wasn’t mentioned or taught in The Secret is Action! You need to take action. That is the only way the Law of Attraction can work for you. If you want a new better paid job, then you need to start searching for one and apply for the ones you would like to have. If you want a new girlfriend you will not find her in your empty living room whilst you are sat doing nothing.

Basically no-one has become successful in any of their endeavours by being a lazy lay about doing nothing. They took action and they went after what they wanted. You need to take action. It might take one day, it might take one year, who knows, but the sooner you take action the sooner you will get your desires!

Going back to the Law of Attraction summary from last time and adding in the missing component this is what the Law of Attraction should look like:

1. Know what you want.

2. Ask for it.

3. Visualise that you have it already.

4. Take Action - Most important step!!

5. Receive, be grateful and detach yourself from the outcome.

Well, that is it for today. Next time I will go into more detail on how to apply the law of attraction in your life to get the best results for your goals.

Have a brilliant day

Speak soon,

Paulo

Law of Attraction – Part 1

2009-07-09T15:28:00.002+01:00

I’m sure you have heard all about the Law of Attraction in the last few years, probably because you have seen, or heard about, the movie “The Secret” or maybe from blogs, or other publications, like mine. So today I thought I would discuss and present the Law of Attraction to you. As a lot can be said about it I have decided to do three different posts about it.

Part 1, I will discuss what the LOA (Law of Attraction) is. In part 2 I will discuss the bit about the LOA that wasn’t mentioned in the movie “The Secret” that might be the most important teaching of all! Finally Part 3 is how to apply the LOA in your life! So do stick around and as usual, feel free to add your comments below on this and any other subjects.

What is the Law of Attraction?

There are many definitions of the Law of Attraction out there, as each person can interpret it in their own way, I wouldn’t they, in the end of the day we are all individuals. So this is my own personal definition of it, based in many concepts and in by no means this is the final and only definition of it.

My definition of the Law of Attraction

“Whatever you desire and want for your life, you can get it all from the Universe if you really want it, believe it, ask for it and act on it!”

Other Definitions

A more simplistic approach to it as been widely coined as “What you are you become” or “What you desire you attract”. One of my favourite quotes comes from Wayne Dyer “I’ll see it when I believe it!”. In complete contrast to the traditional quote “I’ll believe it when I see it” but for Wayne in order for you to be able to see something in front of you, you need to really believe in it first!

Before “The Secret” made the LOA widely popular, a lot of other people were already talking about it and even taught the Law of Attraction at seminars and workshops. In fact every teaching and works of all the most popular self development people out there has foundations on the LOA.

One of my favourite authors, Napoleon Hill, wrote in his best seller book, “Think and Grow Rich” that we need to control our own thoughts in order to achieve success in our life. He never actually mentions the Law of Attraction directly, but many feel, me included, that the secret he mentions in every single chapter of the book is indeed the Law of Attraction. By the way if you never read it, I highly recommend it as it is an excellent and fascinating read.

Positive thoughts, Positive Outcomes

Basically by you being in control of your thoughts and having positive thoughts about your life and what you want from it, you will attract all that into your life. If you continue having negative thoughts then that is what will come into life instead. This is something that many people have trouble with as it is not very easy to always think positive and is a item that has gotten much criticism as well.

Criticism of the LOA teachings

The critics state that, if something negative happens in your life, and you follow the Law of Attraction, then you will blame yourself for it, and, again according to critics, sometimes it wasn’t your fault at all. Off course if we start blaming ourselves because there is traffic in the motorway because of an accident and we end up late for a meeting then is illogical that we would blame ourselves for that.

Who is responsible?

On the other hand if you having problems at work with your boss, for example, is it illogical to assume that some of those issues might have stemmed from some of your actions and if you improve your actions things will be better all round? All of this is open to debate and my post today is not about making you believe or not in the Law of Attraction. It is simply to let you know a bit more about what it is.

In summary the Law of Attraction states:
1. Know what you want.
2. Ask for it.
3. Visualise that you have it already.
4. Receive, be grateful and detach yourself from the outcome.

In part two of the Law of Attraction posts I shall uncover the most important step of the Law of Attraction that the movie “The Secret” hasn’t discussed and led to some of the high profile self development gurus to ask to be removed from the final cut of the movie.

Until then, have a brilliant day!

Speak soon,

Paulo

Should you ignore your failures?

2009-07-07T23:30:00.003+01:00

Following from my last post regarding the impact of self-help on people with low self esteem I thought I would discuss the impact of negativity in our lives. There is a lot of information out there regarding how to improve your life and to think positive thoughts to improve your life. Hence the "need" for researchers to attempt to disprove the industry as of any real help.

Putting that study aside

I will not discuss the study once more as it has already been done, what I will do today is to look at the role of negativity in your life and how you can best use it to improve your life. As a general rule we are told to always have positive thoughts as, when you are positive you will attract good and positive things into your life.

And as much as that is true

I know it and you know it that there are always negative things happening in the World every day and sometimes, unfortunately, these happen to us at a personal level as well. In those times it is very difficult to stay positive. So should we ignore it completely and only focus on the positive aspects of your life or should we acknowledge them for what they are?

Failure is important

Well, Human Behavioural Specialist, Dr John F Demartini, reckons that "negative feedback is equally important to positive feedback in helping you achieve success in all areas of your life". In other words we need both positive and negatives to actually grow as while one supports us the other one actually challenges us.

"Learn from your mistakes"

It is how you deal with negativity that is the important part of the equation. If you look at the lives of most multi-millionaires in the World, the vast majority of them were bankrupt at one point or another of their lives. All the World Record holder athletes had losing races or competitions. Tiger Woods doesn't win every single open he plays in and even the greatest tennis player of all time, Roger Federer, went through a bad patch last year that made him lose the number one spot on the ATP tour.

You only fail when you fail to learn

What all these people have in common is that they accepted the failures they had, analysed them to understand where they went wrong, learned a different way to do it (or avoided the wrong way), and eventually succeeded again. You should do the same. If you have failed at something, whatever that was, look at your role in it. Admit your mistakes. Realise what should you have done differently and then apply those learnings to your next endeavour.

By learning from your mistakes, you grow as a person

In order for you to grow as a person and become someone of self-mastery, you must embrace both sides of the coin. As Demartini says "We must embrace the vision we hold, knowing there will be people who like and people who dislike that vision. In life you will have challenges. That is what will make you stronger".

Next time you receive negative feedback or fail, please take that on board, learn from it and use it to make yourself and stronger, healthier and more focussed individual.

Speak to you very soon,

Paulo

Is Self-Help Negative to You????

2009-07-06T10:15:00.003+01:00

Weird question for my blog, don't you think? Well it suits what I wanted to talk about it today. I don't know if you have seen it in the news yesterday or on the internet, but a group of Canadian researchers, found that "turning to self-help mantras to boost your spirits may have the opposite effect".

What have they found...

They found that "those with low self-esteem actually felt worst after repeating positive statements about themselves". Apparently saying "I am a loveable person" only worked with people which already had high self esteem.

And...

"The researchers, from the University of Waterloo and the University of New Brunswick, asked people with high and low self-esteem to say "I am a lovable person." They then measured the participants' moods and their feelings about themselves.In the low self-esteem group, those who repeated the mantra felt worse afterwards compared with others who did not. However people with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive self-statement - but only slightly."

And you know what?

I completely understand those findings and am pretty sure that if I conducted a similar study the results would be the same. Why? Because what those researchers neglected to do was the whole essence of self-help:

You will only change when you are ready to change!

What the researchers did was simply ask people to repeat phrases. If you are feeling low about yourself and someone tells you to do this because it will make you feel better, it will not necessarily make you feel better unless you are allowing it to do so. People who buy self-help books, or go and see a coach or a mentor, and go to seminars or retreats, have already made the decision to change and are embracing the help that is going to be given to them.

They have pre-disposed themselves to change.

That is the fundamental rule or law of self-help or "external" help, you must want that change to happen. Someone telling you to do something is not self help, is instead an order. They would have made better use of the research grant they got, by going to coaches clients and ask for testimonials, go to a seminar and ask participants how they felt before and after the seminar, or indeed trail the internet for all the websites with unsolicited testimonials of clients to coaches from all over the World.

Don't let this put you off...

If you are ready to make a change in your life and you are seeking help, don't let this study put you off. You have reached that stage that you are about to take action so do it, buy a book, go and see a coach, go to a seminar, whatever you do, if you are ready for it, you will succeed. Change is possible and you can achieve it if you really want it! I will not lie to you and say change is easy, because it is not, but change is possible if you really want that change to happen.

Here's to your success,

Paulo

Motivation and Social Support

2009-07-04T22:58:00.005+01:00

I just had a wow moment! Something just clicked in my mind, about one of my goals and I owe it all to a conversation that I just had. I was speaking with a wonderful lady that is very special to me, and some of the stuff she said, were not only right as well as hit the nail on the head. I even felt a new lease of life, regarding this goal, that I wasn't expecting. I am not going into detail what exactly was said, but it helped me realise that in the last couple of weeks I had neglected two very important things.

So what was missing then?

Basically, as every one in the world, even coaches, like me, have their off days, or self doubt days. We all have been there, something doesn't quite work out the way you wanted it or planned it and you feel slightly depressed, then it starts raining, or the dog chewes the cables of your computer and you start thinking what next?

Well, I was in such a place...

For several reasons I visited that place recently. Luckily I am in a position where I am aware of the techniques and tools to use to get me back into a happier place. There are many techniques you can use to pull you back in to the right direction, and I have used them all, but I was still not quite there until tonight's conversation.

There were two pieces missing...

That was it, I had overlooked two things that made all the difference. The first one comes from within and is Motivation! I had somehow forgotten what my motivation was to do all that I am doing. Yes my goal is set and it is something I really want to achieve. I have several milestones to achieve along the way, I have my Life Purpose statement that really defines who I am and what I want to achieve in life, but the motivation for it all had escaped me.

How can you find your "missing" motivation?

Well, ask yourself "What, how, why, where, when" type of questions.
- Why do I want this goal?
- What will this goal bring me if I achieve it?
- Where am I going to find the resources to help me achieve this goal?
- How am I going to find the solutions to the current problems that I am facing?
- When am I going to solve the present problem?
By asking all these questions, and ask as many as you want or need, you eventually will find the motivation that got you to write the goal in the first place!

But, there is another way!

The other way to find that "missing" motivation is the second resource that I didn't fully utilise to get me back on track, and that is Social Support! Social support, does not necessarily mean a big group of people, it can be just one person. With me it was! We all need someone that believes in you, has full trust in your capabilities and will support you in your goals and quests through life. Someone that will tell you as it is and will be fully and completely honest with you.

Who can this person be?

Well in my case she is a very special lady, that means the World to me, but it can be anyone that you trust and respect. It can be your Mum or your Dad, Brother or Sister, Husband or Wife, Partner or best friend, or even your Boss. As long as it fits all the criteria above, and that you both are completely honest with each other then that support will help you on your times of need.

Why is Social Support so important?

Human beings are social beings. We literally feed on other people's emotions, values and beliefs. We like to belong! We have group of friends, we support football teams, support political parties, unions at work, etc. Belonging to such grups, helps as feel that we are not alone! So whatever your goal is, you need a support network to help you succeed. You might need a Coach or a Mentor as well, but having someone there that understands you, believes in you and in your goal, or even has a similar goal to you, will make a big difference.

So, have you got your support network in place?

So, my question to you is have you got your social support in place? Whatever your goal is I am sure you can find someone close to you to be your social support. If your goal is setting up your business, look within your network for someone that has done it before. If it is losing weight or getting your 6-pack for holidays, you can find a gym to join or a internet forum for support. If you are studying for a qualification of any kind, anyone else that is in the same group can help or someone that already has done it in the past. Whatever your goal is, I am sure you will be able to find someone in your current network that can be your support. If not, then you have a fantastic opportunity to make new friends!

Final words...

It is important that you do it yourself, and for that you need to find the motivation to do it, but having someone helping you once in a while, will not only save you time, but also make it more enjoyable and easier for you to achieve your goal.

Hope my own experience helped you in anyway today. Have a wonderful day, and as usual if you have any comments, leave them below.

Paulo

My Life Purpose

2009-06-29T18:34:00.004+01:00

If you recall, a while back I ask if you had already found your life's purpose. This came from my own realisation at that time that I had not found it yet. If you can't recall go over here to check it What is your life's purpose?.

I just started working on a new product and whilst breaking down the work I need to do to make the product a reality, remembered that I had never posted, as promised, my own life's purpose.

So without further ado, here it is for all to see.

My Life's Purpose

I Paulo Duarte, hereby declare before others and, more importantly, before myself, that my life purpose is to be:

- Always true to myself and others no matter how difficult, hard and painful it might be
- Someone that makes a positive difference in every person I encounter in life
- A caring, supportive and challenging friend
- Grateful for all I have and for all those around me
- The best I can be and never accept second best
- A successful and profitable Entrepreneur & Businessman

By doing:

- Studying and continuously learning about the human being and their interactions with others
- Learning about the way the physical body works. Always striving to find the best training and nutritional practices to best develop the human body to excellence!
- Helping and empowering others to learn and grow to be the best they can be
- Study the mindset and how best to use it for our own benefit to achieve all our goals
- Creating a Physical Excellence Transformation Center where Body and Mind work together towards the same goal, making dreams reality!
- Contributing with money and time to help others achieve their own success

So that in the future I may have:

- A happy, fulfilled and enjoyable life
- A beautiful, caring and supporting woman by my side that loves me and wants to be with me because of who I am, rather than what I have!
- Social recognition for all I done and am doing to help others improve themselves
- Financial rewards to allow me to make my dream life a Reality!
- Enough money to help others and be charitable and grateful for all!

Signed:

Paulo Duarte

As usual I would welcome your comments on this and on your own life's purpose. If you need help or direction of finding your life's purpose get in touch.

So you want to lose weight?!?!

2009-04-21T14:38:00.005+01:00

You have made the decision to lose weight, and as such you started to evaluate your options, on how to spend your hard earned cash and what to do. And there it was the answer...

A Fat Burning Magic Pill

You will go and buy this new wonder pill that is coming in the UK market tomorrow, you will take it as prescribed and as magic you will lose all the weight! Fantastic solution for minimum effort, it is truly wonderful is it not?

And then suddenly...

You woke up, and realised that all was just a dream, or better yet a nightmare! Sorry to sound sarcastic, but if you are hoping that a magic wonder pill will make you shed all the fat you have with no effort then, my friend you are sadly mistaken.

From what I read and heard on the news, this new magic pill, as every single one out there in the market, is recommended as part of a calorie controlled diet and exercise so it to maximise the results.

Also it works by making part of the food bypass your system completely, thus not absorbing part of the fats you eat (together with proteins and carbs as well). So is this what you want to rely on? Is this the solution that you are going to go for and part with your money?

Is this really it?

Well I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but I don't think so. The key to losing fat and keeping it off is not a magic pill but some hard work and controlling what you put in your mouth, together with a motivated mindset to achieve your goal.

I am afraid that drugs don't work...

By all means spend your money and rely on the drugs to get you there, or put some effort and hard graft into it, work out with weights, do interval training and control your diet. That will get you there, it might take awhile but once there you will look and feel much better! Use the money you would spend on these drugs on a personal trainer, a coach, or even a nutritionist.

These professionals will help you!

They will help you more than these drugs and what they will teach you and show you will be there long after this latest magic pill disappears from the mainstream media. If you are looking for nutritional help I highly recommend the revolutionary Eat Stop Eat Programme.

If you need help with training to burn fat efficiently a programme that highly recommend is Craig Ballantyne Turbulence Training with even a bodyweight only selection of exercises if you don't want to use weights from the onset.

There are many options out there

And most or all, are better and more long lasting than magic wonder pills like this last one. Your choice, your life, your money... Your decision!

A different post today - Effects of Stress

2009-04-07T09:59:00.002+01:00

My sister called me on Sunday...

My Father had had another mild heart problem on Friday and was now in hospital. They have decided that now is the time to have a triple heart bypass, as the heart is still strong enough to cope with surgery, instead of waiting until he as another episode.

Luckily this time was a mild one...

But it was a warning nonetheless. Ever since my Dad had his first heart attack that I have always been aware of the possible causes of it and how you should do your utmost to avoid them.

With my Father the main cause of his condition was stress.

Yes he was slightly overweight when it first happened, but we wasn't one for excesses, like all traditional Portuguese men, he had his glass (or two) of wine at dinner, and our food is slightly on the heavy side, but we knew it was stress.

His stress levels were sky high...

Was working a "normal" 9 to 5 job in a Directorial position and 3 evenings a week he used to teach at a Secondary school. Teaching was his passion, still is, and he couldn't give it up. His relationship with my Mum wasn't the best as well, and they end up divorcing shortly after I came to England.

I remember the day

Of his first heart attack. It was one of the rare evenings that he was actually at home. My Mum and my Sister weren't home for some reason that night and he started feeling bad, pins and needles in his left arm as well as numbing sensation and find it difficult to breathe. I called the ambulance and off he went to the hospital.

Weirdly enough

At the time it was the best thing that happened to him. He left his 9 to 5 job, changed his diet completely, started doing regular mild exercise and looked like he was into a full recovery.

Whenever he got into a stressful situation

Things got worse. Since that first one back in 1992 he still had another two mild ones and now this one, makes it three. He had slipped back into a more "letting go" type of lifestyle and this might be his wake up call, probably is final one.

On a final note...

Thankfully he is in good hands and everything will be ok in a few days/ weeks time, but the main message here to remember is to do your utmost to remove all the possible causes from your life...

Change your life around if it needs to

Do some exercise, eat healthly, don't drink alcohol excessively, if your job is too stressful get a new one, if that is not possible, make sure you have coping techniques to release that stress, enjoy your relationships and tell people you love about your issues and don't keep things back...

You only have one life, so make the most of it!!!!

5 Key Factors That Helped me Lose Weight

2009-04-01T00:35:00.001+01:00

12^th September 1992, that is the day my life changed! I took the decision to come to England to study, and that was the day I arrived here. After almost 17 years, I am delighted that I took that decision, still living in England and am very happy. But that is not the reason why I am writing this piece today.

Today I am going to tell you about another day...

Another day that radically changed my life, the day that after many months of being called fat, chubby or “Sancho” (my nickname from my housemates as per Sancho Panca, D.Quixote’s loyal servant) I decided to join a gym.

But, this was a different gym...

This gym on the surface looked like any other commercial gym. Had cardio machines, weight machines, a small free weights area, sauna, etc, but there was a big difference, the trainers there were people that loved training and loved to help training others.

And the transformation begun...

Under the guidance, you can even call it mentorship, of Paul, the main trainer there, I managed to lose around 4 stone in weight, my jeans size went down from Size 40 jeans to size 34, my self confidence sky rocketed to levels that I never had felt possible and life was great, and all in 9 months!

For the first time in my life...

I felt absolutely fantastic! After over 8 or so years of being a chubby kid and not feeling comfortable in my own body, I felt great. I would go to the shops and be able to buy normal sizes. I finally would go out at night and be super confident with the ladies as well!

So, how come this change occurred?

Well looking back I truly believe that there were 5 key factors why this happened and I know if these weren’t in place at the time my story would have been very different.

1. Social Support

First and foremost, if it wasn’t for my housemate Luis, I would have never taken the plunge to actually go to the gym. He was a regular gym goer back home in Portugal and he wanted a partner to go to the gym. He became my main “source” of social support, giving me encouraging words and “pushing” me to go to the gym when I didn’t felt like it!

I became accountable...

Having him there made me accountable not only to him as my gym partner but also to myself! Even though I was the only one that was capable of changing my body, having someone there to keep me in check helped me in achieving my goal ten times faster.

2. Guidance

As soon as I joined the gym, Paul was assigned as my trainer. Paul took all my measurements, weighted me, and more importantly, asked me questions about my lifestyle, my nutrition, my physical activity and pretty much every aspect he felt influenced my situation at the time.

After our first session he designed a training plan that we reviewed every 6 to 8 weeks to make any necessary adjustments, always taking in consideration my end goal!

My very first goal...

That was the very first time I set a goal with some “meat” in it. It wasn’t a goal “just because I want to”. He actually asked me what were the benefits I saw of living on that goal, and why I wanted it so much. I am not ashamed to admit it that girls featured highly on the whys J!

Set goals for what you want to achieve and it will make it much easier for you to achieve it!

3. Nutrition

With his help I started a food journal. For one week he asked me not to change my diet and just write down every little thing I ate during the day. At the end of that week we sat down and went through it all.

Blimey that was “eyes opening stuff”...

I was amazed, to say the least, at the amount of, at a lack of a better word, crap that I was consuming in a daily basis. Not only the quantity but also the quality of my food was deplorable, even though I cooked every night, during the day at Uni I would have pizzas or burgers from the student union bar or bean and beef stews from the Caribbean Center in town.

I changed all that...

From that point onwards I started to have a lot of salads and grilled meat or fish, at night. I would prepare my lunch to take to college, which would be home-made sandwiches or salads and fruit. Reduced the consumption of pastas, potatoes and rice and started having a proper breakfast with eggs and toast instead of coffee and air!

Learning “how to eat” was one of my biggest lessons!

Take notice of what you put in your body, make changes to natural foods and start having a balanced diet.

4. Mindset

Once I made the decision to change and go to the gym, I was half way there to success, I realised what I wanted to achieve and how I could achieved it. I stopped making excuses to why I couldn’t do it and put a plan of action in place and followed it.

I felt empowered...

And every time I had a off day I would re-focus on why I wanted to change and how much I had achieved by all the small changes that I made into my life that I knew then that I would never be “chubby” again.

5. Journal

I started a journal, at the time on a notebook. Every month I would weight myself. Every other week would take measurements. I would keep track of the bad foods I ate over the weeks. I knew how much I could lift at all the various exercises and which exercises I was doing at any particular time.

By keeping track...

Of all the variables in my life I was always able to know what was working or, more importantly, not working so I could change and adjust to achieve my goal. It was also a great motivation tool to see how much I had improved in such a small period of time!

Until today I had never realized

I had never realized that way back then in 1992 I already knew the secret to change and to achieve my dream body, and the factors that helped me lose weight then are the same factors that can help anyone achieve their goals, whatever they are!

Remember them and you are on your way:

- Doing it on your own is possible but harder than doing it with someone else. Whoever they are, your best friend, your partner, a personal trainer or a coach, will help you get there faster!

- Set goals for what you want to achieve and it will make it much easier for you to achieve it!

- Take notice of what you put in your body, make changes to natural foods and start having a balanced diet.

- Once you decide you are ready to change, and start taking action, you are half way there to success.

- Keep an updated journal to keep track of your progress and to motivate you to achieve your goal!

Hope this post was of some assistance to you in your quest to achieve your goals.

All the best,

Paulo

Yesterday at Euston Station...

2009-03-23T14:10:00.003Z

I went to London yesterday for the monthly meeting with Dan Bradbury's mentorship group and on arrival at Euston Station, I had a bit of time so went outside for a bit to read my book in the Sun.

While outside...

I noticed this homeless man walking through the crowd looking at everyone but not approaching any. Suddenly when he saw me he proceeded to walk towards me.

When he got close...

He apologise for disturbing me but he was hungry and asked me if I could give help him by giving some money so he could eat. Without another thought in my mind I emptied my pocket and gave him all the money I had at the time. It wasn't much, probably £3 maximum.

His look of gratitude...

Smile and thank you, he gave me was all that I needed. He went to the nearest food stall and ordered his food. I felt really good and happy that I was able to help and proceeded to the meeting.

On my return from the meeting...

Around 530pm, in the same place, another homeless lady approached me and asked me for some money as she was trying to get the bus fare to go to the nearest shelter, where she could spend the night. Again I got all the change I had in my pocket and gave it to her (luckily I had withdrawn some earlier from the cash machine).

It was only £3 or £4...

But the smile and thank you I got from her made me feel fantastic. It is moments like this that make me truly appreciate what I have and feel grateful for all. Not for one moment I had any doubts in helping these two people.

Amongst the crowd...

For some reason they both picked me to ask for help, don't know if it was karma or if they sensed that I would help them, but I am delighted that they did and if I made a difference in their lifes, albeit as small as it was then it was all worthwhile.

Despite how difficult...

Your life is at the moment, spare a thought for those that are in worst situations than you, be grateful, kind and generous. You can make a difference with your actions, start today if you haven't already...

What is your life’s purpose?

2009-03-21T12:27:00.001Z

What is your life’s purpose?

As I lay in bed last night unable to sleep I started wondering again...

What is my life’s purpose?

What I do for a living is a tag, a label, something I gave myself or others used to describe what I do as a job, profession or my work, but what I truly want to know is what is my Life’s Purpose? Do you know what it is? Do you know your life’s purpose?

I have been asking myself this question for awhile...

What am I in this earth for? I am 35 years old, almost 36, and do I really know what I want? I have my goals that I truly want to achieve. My business goals, my physical goals, goals that will make my life better overall, but what are goals if not a stepping stone in the path to your life’s purpose?

If your goals don’t have a true purpose

Then what is the point of having them in the first place? Until you truly define what is it that you are in this Earth for you will lack a sense of being and a sense of direction in your life!

I have a good life...

Have fantastic friends around me, amazing clients that I help achieve their goals and incredible and wonderful family that I love dearly... Yes I have my problems to resolve, don’t we all? But all in all my life is pretty good! But I do feel I need to find something that is missing that will probably add the meaning that I seeking for.

Watched a movie last night that made me think...

The movie in question was “Ghost Town”, if you have seen it, it probably made you think as well, if you haven’t is the story of a Dentist that “dies” for 7 minutes during a surgery and afterwards he can see ghosts that are in limbo... They are in limbo not because they have to resolve something before they can go to heaven, but because the ones that were left behind have to let them go...

So how does this movie made me think about my life?

Well when he helps the ghosts help their family friends “letting go” really touched me. I truly realised that I was here to help others. Helping others makes me feel truly alive and worth it to society. Even yesterday helped an old lady remove a pound coin from a trolley, nothing major I know, but the smile and the thank you I got truly made my day!

What is my life’s purpose?

Ultimately I want to help others... Help others achieve their goals and find their true path in life. Help others be happy and successful. Inspire others to achieve all they want to achieve. Teach what they need to learn and continuously learn from others as I meet them through their lives. I am still working on my purpose, and because it is so fresh in my mind, today I will finally find my true life purpose and post it here for all to see...

So, let me ask you something...

What is your life’s purpose? What are you in this earth for? Forget about the titles, tags and labels we will have been given by society and instead concentrate on what you want your life to be, why do you want it, how you going to get there and what will be your reward for truly living according to your ultimate purpose in life.

Do you know your life’s purpose?

Once you do, once you know the answer, all it will be clear, all your goals will be much clearer and easier to accomplish and achieve as you truly know where you are going to and why!

If you already know...

Then drop me a line to reigniteyourlife@googlemail.com as I would love to know what it is and how did you realise it in the first place...

House ownership and VALUES

2009-03-11T09:31:00.003Z

I was reading the other day a piece about house ownership in the UK and the perceptions of the population in general the ownership of your own house.

One of the things that strikes me is how much owning a house is so important in the UK. That is usually a sign to you and others that you are doing well in life. I must I was "trapped" in the same thought.

In other countries, like Germany and Italy, owning your own house is not one of the main priorities of the population throughout their lifes. In Portugal for many years this wasn't as well. Now a lot of people there also want to "own" a house.

The fact that you don't actually own the house, until you paid it off completely doesn't seem to detract us to go and buy it. The fact that until the day the mortgage is paid off the mortgage provider actually owns the house doesn't stop us to take the plunge.

Similarly you end up paying almost double what you initially bought the house for with the compound interest. We tend to look at a house as an asset, but until is paid off it actually is a liability. I am currently finishing reading Robert Kiyosaki book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" and thoroughly advise you to read it as well, as explains in simple terms assets and liabilities and how you can change your life around by bein "financially intelligent".

The fact of the matter is that this general mentality in the UK, and indeed in other countries as well, is that owning a house is part of the Values of the people born, or living, in that country. Is sometimes one the highest values most people have.

So where do you get your values from? I will enlighten you on my next post about that and how you can get better values to help on your success and happiness throughout life!

Until then, all the best,

Paulo

Buying a car...

2009-03-09T18:08:00.002Z

I have never thought that buying a car was this difficult. Well it isn't difficult really! I am making it more difficult as I feel this invisible pull stopping me from buying a car. I thought that I was just being wary because you have to be careful what you buy so you don't get a car with a dodgy past or worst yet a dangerous car.

It is more than that and I can't quite explain it.

The only real reason I require a car for is to go to the gym. I miss going to the gym and even though I have a leisure centre nearby, they don't allow walk ins until you do a induction. Decided against it.

Searching for cars in the internet, is a catch 22 situation. You see a car you like, you want to go and see it, but you dont have a car to get there so an alternative plan has to be hatched up to go with a friend.

A thought occurred to me just now when speaking to my friend Eddie on the phone. He was telling me about his last few days and how happy he was whilst he was walking to go to his gym. He lives in the outskirts of London, and he doesn't have a car and despite this he still does what he needs to do.

When I was a student, I didn't had a car and despite this I still managed to do all that I wanted to do. Walking was my chosen mode of transportation when that wasn't possible I would take the bus or train. All these days without a car I only had the need to go somewhere once and I took the bus, and that wasn't bad at all.

Public transportation might be a temporary solution to take in consideration. I created this belief around not taking buses or trains, and in fact it is a perfect acceptable solution to ones situation.

Going to do another search on the good old google to look for bus connections between my place and the gym as well as cost for bus pass. Its good to talk and keep your mind open to all possibilities!

I will keep you posted on my decision :-)

Until we speak again,

Paulo

My Nephew's Christening and Values

2009-02-22T09:33:00.005Z

So yesterday, my little Nephew, Tomas, was christened in the Igreja do Seixal. It was a traditional Catholic ceremony where the baby was "entered in God's world" and the Parents, Godmother and Godfather promised to guide Tomas in the name of the God throughout their life.

The Priest conducting the ceremony mentioned a couple of times the role of the Parents and the Godparents in instilling the needed values in Tomas life to put him in good stead throughout his life. All of those that know me, know my thoughts on Religion and God, so I will not bother with you that today, but those comments made me think about making this post and tell you about something that happened in my life much earlier on.

When we are born we are pretty much a "blank canvas" and the Values that most of us hold today, do indeed stem from our Parents and close relatives of the family. These most of the time were "forced" on us by those older because of the things that they believed and valued.

These values can be cultural, the country where you born and region of the World, religious, whether your family and close friends were indeed religious or not, and the own family views on the World outside. Ultimately, you as you grow older adopt new values, although traditionally most of these align themselves with the ones given to you by your Elders.

Majority of these values put in good stead towards your future life, unfortunately sometimes these values can be detrimental to you, this is where you as an adult can do something about it and adopt new more powerful values to help you in your life, I shall let you know in a different post how you can change or adopt new values that you deem necessary to "succeed" in life, and to make your life all that you want it to be.

This leads me to my own personal story. To cut the long story short when I was born my parents didn't Baptized me due to turmoil the country was going to at the time (I was born just before the 1974 revolution) and decided to wait a bit longer. Eventually my Sister was born and they thought when she was at a age to decide they ask us both if we wanted to. So when she was about 7 or 8 asked us both if we wanted to.

Because of our age the Church had told my parents that we both had to attend "induction classes" to be able to learn all the Church principles so that we could be baptized. I asked when these classes were and they happened to be on Saturday afternoons. Now Saturday afternoons I used to play football with all my friends pretty much all of the afternoon.

So for me the decision was simple I preferred to spend time with my friends doing something I loved rather than spend the afternoon learning about something that, due to influence of my Maternal Grandfather and my own Father, I wasn't keen on. At the time my values dictated that spending time with my friends was more important and added much higher value to me than going to "Church induction classes". For my sister, she wanted to go and hence one of the reasons that still today she is a Church goer and I am not.

I had never thought before on how much that decision of mine was based on my Values and Beliefs, but as pretty much every decision you, I and everyone makes in their lifes they are based on our Values and Beliefs, apart from when we need to meet our Human Needs, where we can ultimately break our values to meet our Needs (I will talk about Needs another time).

Going back to the Christening, after the ceremony we all went to have a meal with plenty of food and drink and a lot of good camraderie and fun. It was a fantastic time spent with pretty much all of my family which I always love! Again, Values and Needs :-).

That is all for today, catch you all later.

Hope you all have a fantastic day meeting your Values and Needs.

Paulo

It has been a long time...

2009-02-16T21:15:00.002Z

It has been a long time since I last posted, for which my apologies. 2009 has been a good year for me thus far, eventhough I catched a bug that kept me ill for the last 2 weeks with the first 3 days being bed ridden.

Now that I am better will give you a quick update of what happen this year up to today! So in the beginning of the year did a few decisions regarding business and goals, as you have seen in my previous post and with that in mind I have already accomplished two of my goals for the year and working hard on a few more.

In the 3rd of January I have been in an NLP Practitioner course down in London, with a great of fantastic people that made the experience many times better. Within this course have learned a number of techniques that I know will be able to use in my business to help people cure phobias and address issues that still affect them in their life. I am going to specialise in NLP Phobias cure as it was one of the most enjoyable techniques that I learned as well one of the most effective and rewarding to do.

The following week I went skiing with my good friend Diogo in Avoriaz, France just in the border with Switzerland. In here I achieved another one of my goals, become a competent skier. Funnily enough fell humpteen times, but if you don't fall you are not pushing hard enough, taking risks and learning. There are some videos on the net of my exploits and as soon as I learn how to I will publish them in here as well.

Additionnally to having learned how to ski, I have met a small group of very interesting people which made the experience even better.

Then on the day of my return fell ill and was mainly lethargic for 3/4 days and with flue and cold symptoms for the rest. It was a blessing in disguise really as it gave me time to recharge my batteries and get ready for the weeks ahead.

I am now currently in Portugal as my Grandma has now been diagnosed with Alzheimer's so I came over to meet my Mum so we do all the necessary arrangements for my Nan to go and spend some time with my Mum in France. Also my little beautiful gorgeous Nephew is being Christned on Saturday and I couldn't missed this event!

Well that is my year so far. I haven't purposely mentioned a couple of other things as I will post them separately as to grab your full attention and give it the necessary exposure.

I shall go and have a nice hot drink now and shall be in touch with you all very soon.

Warmest regards to you all and wishing you having a great start of the year as I am.

Paulo

My 2009 Goals

2009-01-04T21:29:00.002Z

So, have you set your goals yet? Have you decided what you are going to go after this year? Well I have decided on my goals for this year already and I can tell you I am really excited about them and gunning to go!

Well without further ado, these are my 2009 goals:

1 - Continue to attract fantastic Life Coaching Clients
2 - Successfully implement my Stop Smoking Clinic
3 - Organise and run Public Seminars
4 - Write Ebook
5 - Website Up and Running
6 - Move to Bigger House
7 - Obtain NLP Certification
8 - Body Fat under 10%
9 - Visible Six Pack
10 - Bench Press 110kg (250lbs) for Reps
11 - Deadlift 180kg (400lbs) for Reps
12 - Squat 160kg (350lbs) for Reps
13 - Become a competent Skier

And that is it, these are my goals for 2009. All achievable, all with a degree of difficulty, but all doable!!! So where are your goals for the year ahead? Have you started on them yet?

Goal Setting

2008-12-30T10:01:00.007Z

It is that time of the year again. The time where we start planning our New Year resolutions. The time when we what we want to change about our life. But why do we wait for this date to arrive to make changes? Why do we choose the 1st of January as the starting point for these big changes? Any date in the year can be used for a massive change or for a goal to be set, so why the 1st of January?

Well, traditionally we choose the new year to do it as it symbolizes the start of something new. "Out with the old and in with the new!". To be honest it doesn't really matter when you decide to make the change or when the actual date is. What really matters is that you made the decision that you wanted to make that change.

So, you have decided to make a new year resolution. What are new year resolutions? Resolutions are "nothing" more than decisions you have made towards part or parts of your life where you want to make a change. Usually at this time of the year we tend to make "dramatic" decisions, like losing weight, stop smoking or finding a new job. Whatever the resolution it will be a life changing decision and it will be extremely important to the person making that decision.

New year resolutions are then life changing decisions, goals we set ourselves for the year ahead, goals we genuinely want to achieve and we commit ourselves to get.

So the big question is, if we really want to achieve these goals, these new year resolutions, how come we generally fail at them? How come, when we get to the beginning of February, we haven't managed to stop smoking or lose any weight or any of the goals?

Well, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but the majority of the goals you set yourself are unsuccessful because of... YOU!!! I could "fluffy" it or "sugar coat" it but I would not be doing my job properly if I did it. No, the reason we fail our goals is because of us no one else!

How come we fail to achieve or implement our new year resolutions then? If we really want these goals, if they are really going to make a difference in our life, if we are really going to benefit from these changes how come we fail to achieve them? Because 9 times out of 10 we set ourselves to failure at the very beginning, when we actually set them up!

The key to achieve change and get your goals is to set fantastic goals in the first place. You have to make these goals really desirable and ensure you really want them. Don't set yourself goals just because your partner, kids or parents think you should have. Don't make half hearted goals about something you really are not 100% committed to.

The key to achieve your goals is to really want to achieve these goals, they have to be goals that makes you get up in the morning and know that you really want them. This goal has to be completely dependent on you, no one else, you need to own the goal. By owning the goal, you and you alone is accountable for that goal success.

A goal must be clearly defined, with a start, middle and end. You also need to want to get it. It has to be something that inspires you, something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, something that will really make a difference for the better in your life. By ensuring to follow these guidelines as well as a few others and you are in the path to success.

And this is another area where I can help. The very first session you take with me, we will work together to set up some fantastic goals for you. They will be all about you and what makes you tick. We will take a snapshot of the present and look towards the future to set your goals. And to set you on your way and as it is the season of good will, I am offering throughout January a complimentary free first session.

What have you got to lose? If you are interested in a free of charge first session, either face to face or via skype, just drop me a line on reigniteyourlife@googlemail.com with a contact number and we will discuss it further.

Happy new year to all of you!

"Warm and Fluffy" Definition of Life Coaching

2008-12-27T23:14:00.002Z

As promised in a previous post here it is a "warm and fluffy" description of Life Coaching, courtesy of Neil Asher of the New Insights Life Coaching Ltd company of which I trained with. This piece describes life coaching as well as the relationship between Client and Coach:

Imagine a relationship where the total focus is on you, on what you want in your life, and on what will help you achieve it.

Imagine someone listening, not only to your words, but also what’s behind them and to the spaces between the words.

Someone in tune with the nuances of your voice, with your emotion, your energy, receiving everything you communicate and listens to the very best in you, even when you cannot hear it in yourself.

Imagine someone who will hold you accountable and keep you moving forward towards your dreams and goals.

Imagine a relationship with someone who is totally curious about your dreams and aspirations, at what makes you tick and what you value above all things. Someone who wants to know what you are most passionate in your life. Someone who will help you clarify your goals and provide you the tools for action and learning that leads to the results you want.

Imagine a relationship in your life with someone who is sometimes even more committed to what you want in life than you are.

Imagine what it would be life if someone knew your values and your life purpose and was holding you true to them. Someone who will hold the flag at the top of the hill, encouraging you to press on, someone to celebrate your victories with and help you learn from your setbacks.

Imagine a relationship with someone:

- Who will absolutely tell you the truth – the truth about where you are strong!

- Who knows where you sell yourself short.

- Who knows you can handle it and knows that’s what you want.

- Who sees how big you can be and constantly holds that image for you – even when you can’t hold it for yourself!

Imagine someone who listens to you without judgement and allows you to show emotion – in fact accepts you without analysing you.

Imagine you get to talk to this person every week, even when you have just made a mess of things or when you’ve had great success. This is the place you visit regularly and consistently to consolidate, to integrate, and to push on!

Imagine a relationship where you finally break free of those self-limiting conversations you have been having over the years – where the voices of sabotage are simply noticed for what they are and the powerful part of you is always encouraged.

In a simple and beautiful, caring and loving way, this is what a life coach can offer a client in their sessions together. Is this something you would benefit from? Is this what you have been searching for?

Merry Christmas Everybody

2008-12-23T17:26:00.003Z

Hello everybody, today I thought I would just write about the holidays and what they represent for me and what they represent this year...

Well this year, 2008, has definitely been a year of change for me. A lot of things have happened, some bad, some good, some that were bad but turned out to be good. I read something the other day, which I must apologise as I don't remember who said it, but it was very poignant and very true, "life is change, growth is optional, choose wisely".

It is one of the most significant statements I read lately, we are going through life and we are forever changing, but the growing is something we need to decide if we are doing or not. Well I can safely say I have grown alot in the last 12 months, more so in the last 3 or 4 and I have changed a lot and learned a great deal.

You see I, like you and everyone in the World really, have made a lot of mistakes through out my life, and I keep saying to myself that even though I have made a lot of bad things in my life I don't regret any as they are part of who I am, all the good and bad things that happened in my life and that I have made are what made me what I am today.

Unfortunately I do not have those powers, I can not go back in time and undo my mistakes. Unfortunately that is one thing that has not been invented or made possible to the human kind, to go back in time to undo their mistakes.

So why I am saying all this and what has this got to do with Life Coaching. Well Life Coaching has been one of those good things that happened in my life that made a difference and that helped me grow through life rather than just plough along.

See I am a Life Coach and have my own Life Coach myself and through the work done with my coach I have made small changes in my life and who I am to accomplish my goals and to improve my life. Those little changes have made me a better person, the Paulo I am today will never do half of the mistakes I have made in the past. Most importantly the person I am today will never do what I did that day almost six months ago... But I did.

And that is another important feature of Life Coaching, we do not look at the past trying to find reasons, trying to find justifications for what we done, no, in Life Coaching we have to look at the past as something that has happened and that we can not change, past, good or bad, brought us to where we were when we decided to make a change in our life. To the point where we, me, you, decided to go and see a Life Coach so that together we can start moulding the present to achieve the goals you want in the future.

Well, that is it really, 2008 has been a rollercoaster of a year, a lot of bad things have happened but a lot of good, fantastic things happened as well, I have got out of a destructive relationship, I have discovered Life Coaching, my beautiful sister has had a healthy baby boy and I have re-ignited some of the best friendships I have ever had (Andre, Diogo and Joao).

I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and a happy new year as well. To all my family and friends I love you all very much, thank you for being there in the bad days and for sharing with me the good days. You all mean a lot to me and I will forever hold you all in my heart.

Here to a fantastic 2009!!!

So, what is Life Coaching?

2008-12-21T12:59:00.002Z

Life coaching is a way to realise your true potential through a process of uncovering and then eliminating destructive behavioural and thinking patterns in your life in a supportive, caring and inspirational environment.

And how do we achieve the above? We do it by empowering the individual, the client, with all the tools and resources he/she requires to be able to enforce the desired change in his/her life! All these tools and resources are scientifically tested and proven techniques that will help the client develop his/her self and achieve the goals set. Coaching focus always in the solution to the issue the client wants to resolve in his/hers personal development.

We are not going to look at the past and find reasons for things that happened. That is not the role of the Life Coach and if your coach does that with you, you need to question his/hers role in your coaching. The role of the life coach is to look at the present with you, help you analyse what you want to change and put in place a action plan to achieve the goals you set up to achieve.

Coaching is a fantastic process of growth and discovery and achievement of goals, your goals! Coaching is not “fluffy and warm” and is not a relationship where the coach molly coddles you all the time, it is a process where at times the coach tells you well done for achieving a milestone or goal and other times gives you a kick in proverbial backside to drive you into action if needed be.

A Life Coach is your guiding light in the darkness of life, that will not tell you what to do, but instead will give you the tools and resources for you to decide what is it you want to do/ obtain/ achieve or acquire in your life and then help you every step of the way to achieve those goals!

Next time I will post a "fluffy and warm" definition from my mentors at New Insights.

All the best to you all and until the next time :-)

Re Ignite Your Life

2008-12-17T17:37:00.003Z

First post of my new blog. Well the title says it all. I have re-ignited my own life and in the process have embarked in a journey to where I can help others to re-ignite their lifes and help them get there.

So I am now a Life Coach. After being in a job where I was not happy for a while I decided that this was the time for me to change my life and do something for myself. I then started a process of self discovery and self help, where I trailed the internet for books and other literature which would help me assess what I wanted from life and indeed what I wanted to do for a living.

Life coaching was something that I "stumbled" accross and that fitted me like a glove. I am someone that has always helped others and coached others to get to their goals and outcomes.

The purpose of this blog, is not only to shed some light on Life Coaching, introduce myself as a Life Coach, as well as giving some insights to what actually goes on in a coach-client relationship.

I will post some of my insights about life coaching and my definition of life coaching in separate posts, but in the mean time I will let you know where I am at this moment.

I have completed all my training with New Insights and done all my quizzes. I am now waiting to do my final exam so I can fully qualify as a coach. I have 4 clients signed up which are now embarking on their process of change to achieve the goals they set up.

I will update this blog every day and will do the utmost to answer all queries and questions.